


Pregnant With My Crush's Baby

by powerweirdo



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bottom Chae Hyungwon, Bruh tags are hard, Changkyun and Hyungwon are rich bishes, Except for Jooheon, Fluff, He and Changkyun literally just switched places, Hyungwon is the youngest, Hyunwoo is literally a dad here, M/M, Mommy Hyungwon, Mpreg, Smut, Top Im Changkyun | I.M, Written birth scene cus I can
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 15:10:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 46,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19065145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/powerweirdo/pseuds/powerweirdo
Summary: He looked down on the ripped-out page, only one simple word was written in hurry:'leave'





	1. The Day

**Author's Note:**

> I've been obsessed with ABO-dynamics or mpreg fanfics, and got this idea a while ago. I started writing it and have been happy with the chapters so far. Now I have no idea of the latest chapters.  
> I have around four chapters ready, and I can publish them all in one go, just need to check if this really is a good idea. My Google log is all about pregnancy and symptoms women experience during those 40 weeks, so I've done a little research >.<. I have no idea if it counts for men, but hopefully none of you are experts so I guess I'm fine. I could have asked mom, but that would make her suspicious and we do not want that.  
> I also find it kinda hard to make chapters, since.... no one wants to read 40 chapters about something being repeated over and over again. So the chapters may be weird, but don't kill me for that.
> 
> And with that being said; Enjoy this weird work!! Feedback, kudos and comments are appreaciated!!

Changkyun.

The popular senior who dropped out right before midterms. No one quite understood why, he was good in school, good grades and reputation. He dreamed of studying science, follow his father’s steps. When he dropped out, the whole school was in shock.

Despite the fact that he dropped out, he got a pretty good job. Earned a whole lot of money and now he live in a fancy house, in those fancy streets. He owned an expensive car, and each day he drove off in his office suit. The tight dark grey pants always hugged his legs, white shirt tucked into them and a matching tie and jacket on top. Sometimes he just had the jacket hanging on his shoulder. He looked rich. But when his hair was styled and the round glasses were on the tip of his nose, it made him look even richer.

‘How can someone know this much about him?’ you may ask. Hyungwon can answer that. Not that he’s stalking Changkyun or something. Hyungwon has only a crush on the elder, but not to the point where he’s creepy. He just lives in the same street, and sometimes when he waits for the clock to strike 7.30 AM, he sees Changkyun.

When he walks out of his house, over to his car, the whole being himself is impossible not to stare at.

Hyungwon is a year younger, still trying to finish the remaining years at highschool. He can’t lie, he had thought about dropping out too sometimes back then. Now he just wants to finish and be happy about that. Just because someone else dropped out and their life works out just fine, does not mean his life will do the same.

But even though Changkyun dropped out, he still gets invited to parties. He’s still popular as hell, so it’s kinda obvious he’s invited.

Hyungwon is shocked when he unlocks his phone and sees a notification from one of Changkyun’s friends. He taps on the little bubble, and it opens. The other’s message is a few lines long, enough to put information into each line. He’s invited to a party this Friday, the address is just down the street.

Hyungwon looked at the message for a few seconds, read it over and over again. Was he dreaming? Even though he lived in the ‘ _rich street’_ and his parents were known through their business, did not mean he was popular. And he wasn’t. Hyungwon was more like the ordinary junior boy among the others, he could still remember how long it took before his friends believed him.

Back to the message, it clearly said _‘Hey, Hyungwon_ ’, which was him, unless there’s another guy in this street called Hyungwon, and this guy got them mixed up. At the end it stood ‘ _hope to see you here ;)’,_ and who uses winky-smiley face? Unless they know each other, he doesn’t even know the other’s name. Hyungwon wouldn’t use it anyway in this situation, but you get it. He’s confused, and he know he has to answer.

He ends up with closing the app, placing his phone on the nightstand next to his bed. He stared up at the ceiling and thought of something he could reply. It’s Wednesday, he should answer before Friday, or maybe it’s okay to just show up without replying? He’ll ask Hoseok, he’ll know.

 

 

 

The next day at school, he finds Hoseok in the library. He always spends time there. It’s quiet enough for his poetic soul to come out. It’s also the best environment, surrounded by old books and historical statues and paintings. It always goes straight to his brain and the ideas fill page after page.

Hyungwon walks up to the elder sitting in a corner, his favourite pen in hand and notebook resting on his lap. He looked up and smiled as he saw Hyungwon.

“Hey, you rarely show up in here, aren’t you done for today too?” Hoseok asked, looked back to his book and scribbled down something he just came up with.

“Well, yes, but I have a question, I got this message yesterday,” he answered, reached his phone towards the other and sat down next to him.

“Oooh, someone’s gonna party party this weekend,” Hoseok said, wiggled his brows and twisted his body as if he danced. He handed his phone back and smiled at him.

“But what do I answer?”

“You don’t, he can see you’ve seen the message, and he’ll have to wait. It seems like he wants to see you so you gotta leave him doubting, he’ll want you more then,” okay, that last part may have caused Hyungwon to think of not going. “Show up late too, not too late, but fifteen minutes late.”

“But…what?” Hyungwon was still confused “How do you know this’ll work? What if I just fuck it all up?”

Hoseok laughed and smiled his sweet smile. “It worked well for me, also you won’t, trust me.”

“Thanks, but what if _he’s_ there, I mean it’s his friend who sent me the message, and he _is_ there, he’s at every party in our street. It’s stressing me out,” he talks so fast the elder has to calm him with placing a hand on his shoulder.

“If he’s there it means you’ll be able to see him other than when you look at him from your bathroom window,” he points with his index finger, either to show the first good thing, or to say _‘that’s a difference’._

Hyungwon nods, glances at the clock on his phone before excusing himself. He leaves the library, and then the school. The next thing he has in mind is what to do, and what to wear.

 

 

 

Hoseok invites Hyungwon over at Friday after school. To help him figure out what to wear. He brought his biggest bag and stuffed it to the point where he had to sit on it to close the zipper. He brought the clothes he liked, and could be casual but also nice.

The clothes were scattered around on the floor, Hyungwon walked in and out from Hoseok’s bathroom. Each time spinning around to show the two other males the outfit. Hoseok and his boyfriend, Hyunwoo, laid on his bed, both being judges, but Hoseok being the main judge with more power.

“I really like this one,” the eldest speaks up, studying the outfit with his eyes.

“No, it’s shouting _‘I’m desperate for some attention’,_ ” Hoseok turns to his boyfriend and waves at Hyungwon to change into another outfit.

“All the outfits this far would’ve been nice enough,” Hyungwon whines, regret that he agreed to receive help.

After he changed into another pair of jeans, and slipped a sweater over his head, covering the white shirt he wore, he walked out. This time Hoseok lit up and smiled wide.

“Yes! That’s it! I knew tight, ripped jeans would be it,” he got up, fixed his collar and styled his hair with his fingers. Then he took steps back, before ruffling his hair again. “There, you ready to go and get laid.”

Hyungwon blushed, stared at his friend before asking for help from Hyunwoo with his eyes. The elder laughed before wishing him luck. Then he left Hoseok’s apartment and walked to the house where the party was.

The clock was already 9PM, and Hoseok lived 15 minutes away from his place, so it was perfect for the ‘be late’ part. When he passed his house he really started to question if he wanted this, but when he knocked on the door, he realized it was too late. The door opened after a few seconds, long enough for him to turn and run home, but he was stuck in his thoughts and couldn’t do anything.

“Hey! Hyungwon you came!” the voice shouted over the music, he stepped aside and Hyungwon slipped in. He gave a short smile to the tall male.

The hallway was dark, lights from upstairs flashing down the stairs, painting the white walls into different colours. Hyungwon kicked off his shoes and walked up the stairs. Just as his eyes could see the second floor, the smell of alcohol and sweaty bodies hit him in the face. Almost the whole neighbourhood were there, and most likely Changkyun too.

The guy who opened walked up behind him, his hand rested on his shoulder and he leaned over to his ear.

“Feel at home, ask if there is anything, and have fun!” he said, grinned and disappeared into the crowd.

Hyungwon stood on the same spot, he looked at as many faces as he could and placed them to possible names. He only knew six, or seven, of them. He used to play with some of them as a child, the others were just seen around in the hallways at school or in some of the same classes.

He finally moved, walked over to a table standing next to a window, which was currently closed by the curtains. He grabbed a beer can and opened it, lifted it to his lips and took a few short sips. It wasn’t the best taste in the world, he preferred wine, but apparently this party was too good for that.

Hyungwon moved over to the other side of the room, moved away from the speakers so his ears could get some peace. He continued with the sipping, greeted some who greeted him, then someone caught his eye.

Changkyun.

He chatted with someone, his deep voice was the only music he needed, even though it was hard to make out his voice in all the noise.

Hyungwon shook his head, the black locks swaying back and forth. He closed his eyes, leaning on the wall. What was he thinking? He sipped the beer instead, loving how his head already started to spin. Usually he hates it, hates when he can’t control anything about himself, when he gets so dizzy the world spins him into unconsciousness. But now he liked it.

Hyungwon forgot everything after that. Some flashes of scenes passed his mind here and there. Except for that, everything happened after his legs dragged him over to the dance floor. He swung to the music’s rhythm, his eyes locked with Changkyun’s a few times, the elder smirking and Hyungwon playing with biting his bottom lip.

They moved over to each other, Hyungwon’s back pressing against the elder’s chest. Changkyun’s hands rested on his hips, helping him move them against his own. He gasped, tilting his head back and meeting his gaze.

The elder pushed him forward, they moved towards the stairs. Just as the raven-haired placed his foot on the first floor, was he pushed towards the door. The elder pinned him to the surface, pressing his mouth on his. They both tasted bitter beer, but it was long forgotten as the kiss deepened.

“You live close by?” he asked between some short kisses. Hyungwon nodded fast. “Great, then get your shoes on and we’ll leave.”

Hyungwon almost stumbled as he got his shoes on, and they both wobbled towards the younger’s house. Luckily his parents were busy with work, so the house was empty and silent as they stepped in. But the silence was soon replaced with the wet sound of their kissing, and the emptiness was filled with their bodies.

Hyungwon took his hand and they parted. He showed the way to his bedroom. Once they were inside, he pulled the grey haired close and they kissed again. Changkyun tugged at his ripped pants, and shortly after they were peeled off his legs. He slipped the sweater off over his head and ripped open the shirt under. He pushed the raven-haired down on the bed, left open mouthed kisses from his neck and over his stomach.

Hyungwon’s breath quickened and the soft pants escaped through his parted lips and into the room. Changkyun stopped right under his bellybutton, then he turned the younger to lay on his stomach. He hooked a finger under the hem of his boxers, dragged them down and tossed them out into the room.

Hyungwon lifted his hips and rested his weight on his knees. The elder took it as a sign, and pressed a now lubed finger to his entrance. When he had the time to find lube was a mystery, but it wasn’t the most vital thing going on at that moment.

The tip of his finger dipped in and Hyungwon’s whole body tensed up. It stretched so good, but hurt so bad at the same time. The feelings increased as the digit was pushed longer and longer in. Changkyun started moving, slowly at first, and then with more speed.

Hyungwon was already moaning against the mattress before the second finger were added. He gripped the sheets when a third one joined. The three digits were removed shortly after, Hyungwon whined.

Changkyun leaned back and moved to tower over him. He kissed the younger’s neck as he pushed his member through his entrance. Hyungwon gasped and his head fell back. This stretch was definitely more painful, but it felt so, _so,_ much better.

The alcohol in his body worked as a painkiller. It made his mind go straight to thinking about how good it all felt. So damn long ago since last time, too long ago.

“You’re so fucking tight, baby,” Changkyun groaned over him.

The younger moaned in answer, he moved his hips to signal that he could move. He slid out, just so the head of his cock were still in, then he pushed in with a hard thrust.

Hyungwon yelped, and soon the other had found a fast and rough pace. He could hear the elder’s pants and groans, his deep voice giving him praises and dirty words. He answered with either moaning or pushing his body back.

Each thrust reached new places. He could feel how much he clenched around him.

“Fuck- yes, right there!” Hyungwon shouted as Changkyun finally found his spot. His back arched and his head fell back to rest against the other’s shoulder.

Changkyun’s head dropped to his neck and started kissing and sucking. He could already tell there would be a hickey smiling to the surroundings tomorrow.

Hyungwon’s head suddenly started to spin, his head dropped forward of the heavy weight it was now carrying. It was as if his brain turned into a stone, and it was still growing. Pressing at his skull, making it feel like it was about to explode. A weak buzzing turned into beeping. He felt like sleeping, just to remove the pain. Only a second, a tiny...second…

He was dragged out of his head when his stomach filled up with bubbles. Before he could think twice, he spilled his cum on the bedsheets, scream leaving his lips. It didn’t take Changkyun long before he came as well. He pulled out, the weight of his body leaving the bed. Hyungwon’s eyes fell shut immediately, and the beeping in his head took him away from reality.


	2. The Day After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll just add a little heads up; as you probably understood, I have zero clue on this topic, pregnancy. I've done research for this fanfic, that also means that there are things that may not be 100% correct. I feel like saying it(again whoops) since, idk... don't want to disappoint someone???  
> My vacation is coming up, and I have no school next week so I'll write my brain out, wiii.

Hyungwon woke up of his aching head -again- and body. It was too early for any soul to be awake, but for someone who drank their mind out, it was early enough.

He stumbled to his feet and ran out of his bedroom. He didn’t bother turning the lights on in the bathroom, the white tiles could make weak eyes blind in a second. He bent over the toilet and yesterday’s party was now in the porcelain closet. He kept gaging a few times, his body wanted to get rid of more of what it contained, but his stomach was empty.

Hyungwon raised up, he gripped the sink and groaned when his vision blurred out.

“The fuck happened yesterday…?” he asked, slightly concerned about how much he must’ve drunken to feel this bad and hungover.

His back was sore, legs were trembling, and his butt hurt. He couldn’t remember _anything_. It was a normal procedure; go to a party, get drunk, have fun, get con-fucking-fused the next day. But this time it felt a bit different, his body never, _never_ , used to be this sore.

Did he fight with someone?

Oh, fuck no don’t say he was in a fight.

Hyungwon just groaned, walked back to his room. He massaged the bridge of his nose and sighed. When he came into his bedroom he fell down on the bed.

“Eww, the-,” he landed on something sticky. He pushed his body up and tried to make out what it was. “Oh, for God’s sake, Hyungwon.”

Actually, when Hyungwon thinks about it, he would rather know he were in a fight. He may only be seventeen, but he knew cum when he saw it. Did he-, actually he doesn’t want to know it. If he had fun alone or with someone after the party that could be the past’s problem now.

The raven-haired searched for a dry place on the bed, grabbed the blankets and curled up into a little ball.

 

 

Hyungwon woke up later, this time by his phone buzzing its way off the nightstand. He reached over to it and glanced at the screen.

 

_Incoming call_

_Hoseokie_ ♡

His thumb touched the green button and he lifted the device to his ear.

“Hey,” Hoseok’s cherish voice sounded. “How was the party?”

“It was okay, I left early though,” Hyungwon answered and rubbed his eyes with his free hand.

“Really? Dude, you gotta learn how to party on the right way.”

 _You should’ve known,_ Hyungwon thought, _I should’ve known._

Hyungwon didn’t say a word about what he had found earlier. If it was just the teenager part of him, jerking off with the thought of his crush, that was the reason behind cum in his bed. Then he would rather keep it to himself for a while. Probably forever.

“I have to go,” the other said, suddenly Hyungwon realized there were sounds of other people in the back. Hoseok was on a trip to meet his father’s family this weekend, he was probably at the airport now. “We’ll talk on Monday, love you, Hyungwonnie.”

“Love you too,” Hyungwon said, and the beep told him the other had hung up.

It took a while before Hyungwon finally got out of bed, leaving the phone charging behind. He walked over to his closet, grabbed a clean hoodie and sweatpants, underwear and cozy socks. Then he walked out of his room and down the hall into the bathroom. He loosened the grip on the clothes, and soon they were scattered around the floor. He peeled of his underwear, stepped into the shower and immediately turned on the warm water.

The raven-haired stood there for a second, enjoyed the warm burning feeling down his body. His eyes were closed, breath calm and rhythmical, hands hanging by his sides. It was silent around him, only the crashing water filled his ears.

He gripped one of his favorite soaps. The rose scent polluted the air as he poured it into his hands. The liquid was cold against his hot skin, it was a bit uncomfortable, but why would he care. The warm water would make it better in a few seconds anyway.

Bubbles tickled as they popped against Hyungwon’s skin. His hands slid over his body, rubbing the soap into his skin while it was washed off. He hummed, smiled as his voice echoed in the shower. Bouncing between the walls and into his ears again. He pressed the buttons in front of him, the screen turned into a white box with different options. His fingers tapped and moved over it, leaving tiny drops of water on the screen.

When he finally found a song, it started playing loud over his head. He hummed to the melody, lifting his hands to wash his hair. 

Hyungwon decided to sit down when he was done. He rested his back against the shower wall, water still hitting his skin. The wall was cold, being just as uncomfortable as the soap. But Hyungwon still didn’t mind. He just wanted to enjoy the feeling the shower spread all over his body.

While he was in there, he could try to figure out what happened yesterday. He could remember Changkyun’s friend opening the door, he then walked up the stairs, found something to drink. Then what did he do?

_Dance._

He danced, the alcohol took over almost his whole body. It was close to impossible to remember anything after that. But he remembered a feeling, the feeling of someone being close to his body, warmth transferring between them. He could still feel it, slightly, and it made his stomach tickle and his heartbeat sped up. Suddenly he felt hands on his hips, it startled him, it felt _real_. Hyungwon’s hands slipped down to his hips, right where he could feel the hands, and sighed. The tickling in his stomach increased and his whole body felt heavier. He started panting, goosebumps travelling up his torso and nipples stiffen-

Hyungwon shot up, turned off the water and grabbed the towel, wrapping it tight around his body. He stood on the middle of the bathroom floor, water dripping down and making a pit under him. What the fuck was that about?

After staring into the floor for a while, he started drying himself with the towel. He walked up to the mirror, reaching out for one of the cabinets to find his cream when he stopped. Eyes wide and staring at his reflection as if it was a murderer in front of him.

_Hickeys._

Hickeys all over his neck, torso, and even on his lower back. Actually, add more, his inner thigh and right butt cheek wore a bluish proud mark.

Heck, how would he be able to cover it up?

He needed to talk to Hoseok.

After throwing on his clothes and checking a last time in the mirror if it was really happening, darted he over to his bedroom. He ripped the charger out of his phone and dialed the elder’s number.

The beeping greeted him for the second time that morning (afternoon). It took too long, the beeps turned into a female robotic voice, telling him the person wasn’t available.

_Shit, shit, shit, you have to be available._

He tried again, and again, and again, but he realized it didn’t help. Hyungwon thought of other people to call, Hyunwoo? No, too awkward. His parents were not an option. None of his class were to trust about this, he rarely talked with any of them anyway. He wouldn’t have picked his neighbors either, not even if his life depended on it. Which it might be.

Fuck it, Hyunwoo or no one.

Hyunwoo picked up, Hyungwon left a releasing sigh.

“Hey, Hyungwon, what’s up?”

“Uhm, listen I-I may have done something really bad at the party yesterday. I have no idea, and it’s freaking me out and I don’t know what to do since… since I don’t know…” Hyungwon said it all in one breath. Tears welling up in his eyes and hands shaking. What had he done?

“Easy there, buddy, breathe. How bad is it?”

“I think I slept with someone, and I don’t know who it was.”

“Oh, that bad.”

Hearing that wasn’t relaxing at all. The other was silent, probably because he didn’t know what to say. Hyungwon wished he didn’t call him, but the feeling of being free from the weight on his shoulder meant something else.

Was it _that_ bad to sleep with someone after a party? Didn’t everyone in the teen movies do so? Well, yes it was scripted, but it had to be realistic. Right?

“I know you’re really stressed right now, I recommend you to try to relax, when you feel calm enough you could try to talk with people from the party, maybe they can help you remember,” Hyunwoo suggested.

“But the problem is, I don’t know the others well enough to knock on their door and ask _‘do you remember which guy I left with yesterday’._ Plus, this street talks, I swear. If the neighbor farthest down dislikes the new windows to the person on the start of this road, we’d all know within two hours. If Mrs. Jun have guests, we’ll _all_ know. If I tell one person… you get it.”

“Remind me to not do something I would regret in your street,” the elder joked, chuckling lightly. “Search the house for some hints. Maybe he left something.”

That’s not a bad idea.

Hyungwon thanked him, hung up and left his room once again.

Downstairs was silent and dark, it had a creepy aura floating with the silence. It was as if the house judged what he did, laughing and waiting to tell his parents. Good thing houses can’t talk.

One thing was that fucking around would leave the family in a bad light, but Hyungwon had never told them he didn’t like women at all. His parents kept asking how he was picturing the future. How was his wife, how many children, where did they live? And Hyungwon answered the same sentence each time:

_I don’t want to focus that far into the future, when I’m not even done with my education._

His mother laughed, always praising him for doing his best in school. While his father looked at him skeptically, but laughing it off as he caught the nervous hint in his son’s eyes. _I’m joking, I did the same when I was at your age_ , he’d say.

Hyungwon thought of telling them, but backed out when he heard about the guy somewhere in the neighborhood, was just kicked out. Because he was gay.

Hyungwon shook his head, walking to the entrance. He scanned the surface of the shoe rack, the little table and the floor. Not a sign. There was nothing in the living room, nor the kitchen, and the basement was not on the list.

When he thought about it, when did the guy leave? Was he sober enough to just leave? Because if he was, maybe he was sober enough to remember Hyungwon. He had to figure out who he slept with, and fast.

Back on his bed, with clean sheets, sat Hyungwon with his laptop on his lap, fingers aggressively tapping the keys and eyes reading lines. He couldn’t find anything. No tips of how to remember, no tips of how to figure out in a non-suspicious way.

 _Social media_.

Yes! Probably everyone had social media in this street, either they had closed ones, or open to show how rich they were. But if they had posted something, and Hyungwon were there, everyone could see it.  
Calm down. It’s not like anyone would take pictures of him and the possibly one night stand.

He maneuvered through his apps on his phone, searched up every person he could think of. Yes, some had posted, but it was just them _whoo-_ ing at the camera. Drink in hand, friends next to them and whatever they thought were cool as pictures and videos.

Automatically Hyungwon checked Changkyun’s profile. Nothing new, not since he last posted a ‘good morning’ photo. Which Hyungwon had liked just one minute after he had posted it. The picture was nice, the sunset behind his house and Changkyun holding his coffee cup up towards it.

It was a bit weird that he hadn’t posted about the party, especially since it was his friend who hosted it. Maybe he was hosting it as well. Well that’s up to him.

With a sigh he sunk down on the bed, closing his laptop and tossing his phone to the side. Hyungwon hoped this would be over soon. Either he’d give up, and the mysterious one night stand would stay hidden, or he’d figure it out and nothing would happen.


	3. One Week

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO, my ass didn't take the exam seriously, I thought that I'd not be picked, but apparently that was just a stupid thought. I was picked, got the theme I suck in, and guess what. I almost failed that exam. Brooo I was scared as heck.   
> Okay that's it for me x3

Hyungwon rushed down the stairs, arms fighting to slide into the jacket’s arms. He almost collided with the wall when the stairs turned, but his hands reached out just in time to save him. He could hear the ticking clock in his head. His mind pictured the things he had to remember, but they were all merged into one layer. He couldn’t recognize any of it.

He ran into the kitchen, meeting his smiling mom’s gaze. She turned to one of the maids and talked to her. Hyungwon took the bag the maid reached out for him.

“You’re late. Want me to drive you to school?” his father spoke behind his computer, silently sipping his coffee.

“No, I’ll be fine,” Hyungwon said, giving his mother a kiss on her cheek. “Bye.”

He ran into the hall, stuffed the little paper bag into his backpack and slipped into his shoes. He grabbed the doorknob and flung the door open, ran out and down the street.

He reached the bus stop, feeling the questioning glances from the others who waited for the bus. They forgot about Hyungwon when the bus pulled up next to them, doors squeaking open, letting them come in.

Hyungwon was the last to go in, dumping down on the seat next to Hoseok. The elder smiled, teasing him for being late, again.

“I don’t get it though, If I were rich, I’d let my dad drive me to school in one of our expensive cars,” he said, leaning his head back and fantasizing about it. “So fun.”

“Yeah, it’s fun. The first few times. But when your dad always talks about your future, and you clearly don’t want to, then you’d rather walk.”

“Oh, come on. He’s not that bad.”

“You can only say that, because when you’re in the car with us, he can’t ask about such things. As fast as we’ve dropped you off to your place he’s going crazy,” Hyungwon said, lifting his hands and waving them as he continued with a voice to imitate his father. “ _Hyungwon, your future lies in your hands, but you have to decide if you’d want to take over this, or if you’ll start that. And let me start blabbering about how important it is for our family for you to succeed.”_

Hoseok just laughed, leaning forward holding the seat in front of him.

“That’s the best I’ve heard coming out of your mouth in my whole life.”

Hyungwon smiled, looking ahead to see how long of the bus trip remained before they’d reach the school.

 

 

The first thing they did when they got to school, was searching for Hyunwoo. They found him behind his desk in the classroom. Hoseok sat down on his boyfriend’s lap, while Hyungwon leaned to the desk next to them.

Hoseok wasn’t scared of his sexuality. Hyunwoo was in the start, but he was completely fine with showing the public he was in a relationship with Hoseok. Hyungwon wished he was confident enough to let people know. It wasn’t his fault though, if his family were a bit different, he’d do it.

Maybe.

The school bell rang, and Hyungwon collected his stuff, waved to his friends and headed for his classroom. The students were making more noise in that classroom, but they quickly silenced when the teacher came. They all hated her. How she always complained, the angry glares she sent out. Ugh, such a pain in the ass.

The lesson wasn’t important for Hyungwon. He thought about everything else. Scribbling stuff that made no sense in his book. The teacher must have noticed, if not she would never have asked:

“Hyungwon, may you tell me the answer?”

Oh shoot. He looked at the whiteboard, but there were no hints.

“Could you repeat the question?”

She sighed, “Pay attention, and I won’t have to repeat.”  
She looked at him, eyes threatening him that she wouldn’t be so nice next time.

Hyungwon would say he was a good student. Probably some teachers too. He was never one of the noisy annoying students, in fact, he was the silent one. He took notes, payed attention, and scored high on every test. That was enough for the teachers.

Hyungwon wasn’t close to be the ‘ _teachers’ favorite’_ , but the other students could give him the nickname when the teachers were nice to him.

A girl on the row in front of him looked at him, he remembered she turned when the teacher talked to him. She and a bunch of others. Their eyes met, and she smiled warmly. Hyungwon automatically smiled back, the polite boy in him running on auto pilot.

She turned back before the teacher would ask her about the answer, probably in a more rude tone.

 

 

The class ended and Hyungwon was already moving to meet Hoseok and Hyunwoo in the cafeteria. He was about to walk through the doors when someone ran up next to him.

“Hey,” the girl from his class said. Smiling just a bit brighter than earlier.

“Hi,” Hyungwon answered, pushed the door open, waited for her to walk in before he did himself.

“You may not wonder, but Mrs. Yi didn’t actually ask you a question. It was just to get your attention.”

“Ah, I see. Thanks for saving me the thinking,” he joked, chuckled and she giggled lightly.

Hyungwon saw Hoseok sitting in one of the couches, phone in hand and head resting in the other. He glanced around and saw Hyunwoo in the line.

“I’ll see you later,” he said, slightly waved as he headed towards Hoseok.

“Yes, bye,” she said, heading over to her friends.

When he sat down, he couldn’t avoid catching his friend’s glance.

“Was really Chae Hyungwon talking with a girl?” Hoseok said, looked over his shoulder to look at her again.

“Yes, he did. He has done before,” he started, searched for his lunch in his bag. “She smiled to me in the lesson after Mrs. Yi asked me when I didn’t pay attention. She came up to me, said she didn’t actually ask me a question.”  
“Ooh, I smell some risky shit behind that,” Hoseok said, reaching his hand towards the now approaching Hyunwoo.

“Hoseok, no. Stop. I’ve never talked to her actually. It’s bizarre that she came up to me now.”

“How stupid you are at times. She might have a crush on you,” the other waved with his fork as he ate the food his boyfriend just brought.

The raven-haired shook his head, taking a bite of his food.

“You’re good looking, wouldn’t surprise me if a bunch of your classmates got a crush on you,” Hyunwoo said, even though he didn’t know half of the conversation.

“Thanks, but I don’t want them to have a crush on me.”

Hoseok and Hyunwoo looked at him, then at each other before the smiled.

“You’re dumb.”

 

After school, they all went to Hyungwon’s place. On the way they met up with another friend of them, Lee Minhyuk. A bright mood maker they gave the nickname _Sunshine_ in every group chat. He was always happy, positive and full of joy, and energy. Currently the only of them who had a job, and even a fiancé. A funny story about his fiancé, he’s Changkyun’s best friend, and co-worker. Minhyuk could always spill some tea about Changkyun, and he always talked with Hyungwon about him.

Minhyuk enjoyed bragging about his fiancé. He would mention Jooheon whether it would fit or not. But none of them wanted him to quit. They loved how his face was full of happiness, and the way his eyes sparkled.

“Have you figured out who you slept with on the party?” Minhyuk spoke up, receiving three pairs of eyes on him.

“No, I have no idea.”

“Isn’t there anything we could do to figure it out?” Hyunwoo said, leaning back and searching his brain for something.

Hoseok stared at the floor, Minhyuk glanced around in the room while Hyungwon really tried to remember what happened. Still nothing.

“Don’t you have security cameras? You can check them and see if there is anything there,” Hyunwoo suggested.

“Oh my god, why didn’t I think of that?” Hyungwon groaned, a bit annoyed that he didn’t do _that_.

“You were stressed about it, then you decided to let it go,” Minhyuk chuckled. “So, when do we figure it out?”

“I don’t know. Dad’s data room is always locked, code lock on the door since he’s extra. I know the code though, so we can do it now.”

“Yes!” Hoseok and Minhyuk shouted, raising up and dragging Hyungwon with them to wherever the data room was.

They tried to be silent, Hyungwon’s parents were home and they didn’t want them to catch them. Hyungwon pressed the four buttons that made the code. The door clicked confirming and he opened the door.

“Dun-turun tu ruuuun,” Hyungwon whispered, smile on his lips.

Hoseok and Minhyuk sneaked in after Hyungwon, Hyunwoo stood in the door opening, keeping an eye out if any of his parents would come.

The room was almost empty. A desk stood along one of the walls with a chair in front. Two big computers stood on top, both sharing one keyboard and a mouse. Higher up on the opposite wall was the main WiFi-router. On the same wall as the router, was a fridge looking box with a glass door placed in the corner. It blinked in different colors, buttons and switches were scattered around and wires twinned into a bunch of knots.

“Wow, to be a rich family, I expected more in your _locked_ data room,” Minhyuk huffed, leaning over the chair as Hyungwon turned it on.

Hyungwon hummed, typed the password and searched through files.

 _Security Cameras_ , bingo.

He scrolled down to find the date, played the video and they all looked at the screen as he skipped through tons of hours.

Then, his frame popped up in the corner. He played the clip in normal speed.

They all held their breathes as another male frame followed behind him. It was dark, and the security camera didn’t show the details they hoped for. Hyungwon played the clip, over and over. They both waddled in unsteady lines up the driveway. The other male pushed Hyungwon up to one of the walls framing in the door. They kissed for a while, Hyungwon trying to find his keys in his pockets.

Then they disappeared into the house.

“Fuuuck,” Hyungwon said, leaning back into the chair.

“Again, I expected more,” Minhyuk mumbled.

“Hey, someone’s coming,” Hyunwoo whispered to them, and they all tippy toed over to the door, leaving fast, and silent. They slipped around the corner just in time to avoid Hyungwon’s father.

 

 


	4. Four Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya girl has summer vac now and can write until her fingers fall off. Unfortunately won't Hyungwon have much luck in this chapter, sorry baby x3

This specific Thursday was hard to get through. It’s the longest day in the week, all the advanced subjects at once, teachers never shutting up about information that no one will ever understand. Unless they have a doctor degree, which none of these students have.

Thursdays are the biggest shits you’ll ever meet. But this Thursday, brought something different. Hyungwon couldn’t pay attention at all. His head was dizzy and he felt like fainting once or twice during one hour. He had to lay down on his desk, closing his eyes and breathe slowly. It lasted for a second before the school bell rang once again, and the lesson started.

Hyungwon had already swallowed a ton of painkillers, he didn’t even maintain the ‘ _four hours between each’_ recommendation (more a demand). If he takes more he will end up overdosing, and he had read about the side effects. A huge no thank you. So he decided that he just have to survive it.

Hyunwoo and Hoseok suggested that he should go home, but it was shoved off the table when Hyungwon explained how his father would kill him.

He said he had to push himself through it, and he did. Or, almost. In the last lesson he raised a trembling hand, the other holding his head up.

“Yes, Chae?” the teacher asked.

“May I go to the toilet?” he mumbled, forcing his eyes open.

“Yes, be quick,” he said. Thank God that teacher is nice.

Hyungwon rose up, wobbly feet dragging over the classroom floor and into the hallway. He found the way to the toilets, locked himself into one of the bathroom stalls and sat down, resting his head against the wall.

 

 

Soft knocking filled the little room, Hyungwon woke up, slightly moving as his ears captured the sounds. The sounds turned into words, which later formed into sentences he could understand.

“Hyungwon are you in there?” the professor’s voice sounded.

Oh, fuck. He fainted, didn’t he?

How long had he been in there?

Clinking sounded next, rustling with the lock and then the door flung open. Hyungwon was weak, could only imagine the faces of the two, or more, frames looking down at him.

The professor’s hands managed to turn him to look at him.

“Hyungwon are you okay?”

 

 

 

Hyungwon fainted once more, and when he woke up, he sat in a car he hadn’t seen before. Not from any other faint memories of him, Hoseok and Minhyuk driving to parties being about 99,9% drunk.

Speaking of Minhyuk, he sat next to him, holding around him so he wouldn’t lay in a painful position. He scanned through the car with his tired eyes, stopped at the rearview mirror and soon a pair of hazel eyes connected with his.

“Seems… awake…” he could only make out those words, and the body resting against his moved.

Hands cupped his cheeks and his face was lifted to look into Minhyuk’s eyes.

“Hey, sweetie,” he softly whispered, fingers brushing over his cheeks. “What’s wrong? You fainted at school, twice. The janitor had to break you out from the toilet.”

He didn’t exactly break him out, did he? No, he used the special key thing he carries around. He could remember so.

“I don’t feel well,” Hyungwon mumbled, nuzzling closer to feel safe in the other’s embrace. Despite the feeling he felt the whole day.

“We guessed so, but you must be really ill if your body reacts like that,” Jooheon said from the driver’s seat.

“Jooheon, don’t be harsh on him,” Minhyuk warned, sending him a threatening look in the mirror.

“I’m not, just saying the facts.”

Silence fell in the car. Hyungwon decided to look out of the window. _Where the fuck are we?_ He couldn’t recognize anything on the outside. Maybe because everything flew by like he was in a rollercoaster cart.

“To the hospital,” Jooheon said, smile on his lips to relax the younger. He must’ve seen him looking confused out of the windows.

“Wa- no I can’t,” Hyungwon’s body started trembling, images of terrifying nurses and doctors with needles and knives flashed before his eyes.

“What is it baby?” Minhyuk asked, worry hiding in his voice.

Hyungwon didn’t answer, the pictures continued to show up, leaving him staring at the floor.

“I think he’s scared of the hospital,” Jooheon said, turning on the turn signal and slowing down to pull over to the sideline.

“But he has to go to the hospital,” Minhyuk lowly hissed, slightly annoyed that his fiancé stopped.

Jooheon’s seatbelt clicked open and he turned grabbed Hyungwon’s hand and moved closer to him. The seat creaked as he leaned dangerously close, if he moved any farther he could end up slipping and falling to the floor.

“It’s okay, we won’t push you to go to the hospital. We want the best for you, buddy. But if you’re just missing sleep or some nutrients, then we can figure that out without having the white dressed scary doctors touching you,” Jooheon said, smile so soft that his cheeks revealed the dimples Hyungwon always adored.

The raven-haired looked at him, eyes wide and shaking. Jooheon reached over to caress his cheek, fingers slowly ghosting over his skin, leaving a warm spot. The he nodded, before curling up into Minhyuk’s embrace again.

He heard the two others argue, Minhyuk hissed and cursed, while Jooheon stayed calm. Luckily Jooheon won, and they ended up turning and driving home to Hyungwon’s place.

 

 

The dizziness calmed and he didn’t faint more the upcoming days. Minhyuk and Hoseok had a long conversation about how important it is to eat healthy, and to take the damn supplements. Hyunwoo and Hoseok insisted that he could join them to the gym now and then, but Hyungwon straight out said _fuck to the no_ before anyone could blink.

But did the supplements and his now healthy diet help?

Let’s quote Hyungwon; fuck to the no.

He had to call in sick. Stayed home, glued to the bed as he was too scared of falling into death when his head decided to swing him a thousand times around. His parents almost threw him out of the house, but when one of the maids told them she’d take good care of him, they decided to let it go.

Hyungwon had thanked her, but then asked her to keep a distance and let him rest. She nodded, said that he is not allowed to hesitate if there is anything she could do.

Could that maid please be his mother? No need for a dad, just her. Pretty please?

 

 

Back in school, people stared at him in the hallways, some mumbled and whispered, other snickered and laughed. What? Had he forgot his pants or something?

No, they were there.

When he finally reached the courtyard and found Hoseok, was he met by a worried face.

Okay, what happened?  
“Dude, a rumor about you is spreading like fire throughout the school,” he half whispered half hissed, gripped his arm and dragged him close.

“About what? What did I do?” Hyungwon’s brows furrowed as he tried to think of something that could be the rumor.

“That you’re using drugs and almost died in the bathroom because of overdose,” he hissed even louder, the grip tightened and Hoseok looked, no, stared him into the eyes. “How many painkillers did you take?”

Hyungwon had to think back to be able to answer that. Started a little movie in his head from when he woke up, to he found himself in Jooheon’s car.

“I took one before school,” he started, “one during first class,” that makes two. “And one after lunch,” which he by the way didn’t have. “And…” fuck, that makes four.

“Are you completely out of your mind?! Four?!” he almost shouted this time, passing students stopped to look at them. This smelled even more rumors. “And you didn’t eat that whole day either. Hyungwon, is anything wrong?” He calmed down a little, voice gentle and hand loosing its grip.

“No, I was just feeling sick.”  
“You should’ve stayed home. Next time something like that happens I’ll carry you home no matter what.”

 

 

“Is it because you still don’t know who you slept with?” Hyunwoo asked, shaking his hands so the remaining water drops flew around.

The bathroom was empty, except for the two males in front of the sinks, and one of the stalls, which was occupied by their slow friend.

“No,” Hyungwon groaned. “I said I was just sick.”

“An average ‘just sick’ person would never in the fucking history swallow four painkillers in less than six hours,” a voice echoed from the stall behind them. It was followed by a zipper before the door opened and Hoseok made his way to the sink.

Hyungwon decided to keep shut. Was tired of using the same arguments over and over again. But Hoseok wasn’t having any of it.

“I know there’s something wrong, and I’ll figure it out, whether I have to kill someone for it or not. If someone fucking thinks of hurting you, I’ll slaughter them like-.”

“Babe!” Hyunwoo’s deep voice cut him off. Hoseok flinched, he actually _flinched_ , and slowly turned. Hyunwoo’s gaze sent him a warning look, and Hoseok’s gaze lowered to the floor.

Hyunwoo could control Hoseok like no one else. Not even Hyungwon had ever had the power to calm him. God bless the world for giving them Hyunwoo.

“I do not want to hear such words, ever again. Listen to Hyungwon, he knows more about his body than you do.”

What an amazing human being. Remind Hyungwon to thank him with something huge once.

Hoseok whispered something in answer. Hyungwon guessed it was _‘I’m sorry’_ , but didn’t dare to be too sure. He looked up to smile at Hyungwon. If he hadn’t just whispered an apology, was his smile saying it now.

 _It’s okay_ Hyungwon mouthed, accepted the hug the other offered.

Then the three males walked out of the bathroom, parting to go to each of their lessons. Hyungwon still received the weird looks, mumbles and laughs as he passed other students on his way. It made him a bit uncomfortable. He wanted to shrink into a little ant at that moment. What a fucking perfect rumor that’s being told about him.

“Hey,” a female voice spoke up, scaring him out of his head.

The girl from his class laughed, patted his shoulder and said: “sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya.”

“Oh, that’s okay. I spaced out,” he excused, but did he really mean the smile that spread over his lips?  
“You do that often, I’ve seen you in class, it’s like someone clicks the pause button,” she chuckles.

They walked into the classroom, cold stares from their classmates sliding up their bodies. Hyungwon shivered, but tried to ignore it as he headed for his desk.

“Are you okay though? The rumor isn’t quite…nice.”  
Nice? Would you think information about someone possibly overdosing at school, fainting slash dying in the bathroom, is nice?

Hyungwon had to bite his lip. She was just being _nice_ , and now he’s rude. If he’ll continue being like that, he’ll end up fucking up even more.

“Yeah, I was just sick that day,” oh God, how tired he is of saying that day in and day out. “Had taken a bit too many painkillers too.”

“Damn, you must’ve been bad as hell. I hope you’re doing better.”  
Hyungwon nodded, “Yeah, I am, thank you.” A lie maybe? Yeah of course.

She smiled, the professor arrived, asked them to shut up and move to the places where their asses belonged.

Hyungwon had to press his hand in front of his mouth when he remembered what Hoseok once said about this teacher’s lessons. He had said the exact same, and Hoseok had walked straight over to Hyunwoo to sit on his lap. The teacher had been so angry that his face was redder than the markers he used, and Hoseok was kicked out of that lesson. He had to stay at school when everyone was done too. _A lil’ detention for a lil’ devil_ , Hyunwoo had muttered as they waited for him.

 

 


	5. Si(ck)x Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if I exaggerated Hyungwon's mood swings, but that's literally me when I'm way over my bedtime.   
> Also, a lil smut is brought back for y'all ;)

It didn’t end with the Thursday. It was more a start of something hundred times worse. He woke up by his stomach tying its guts together, intestines hurting like a bitch, and he could swear he felt every little detail flow up his throat.

He rolled out of bed, ran down the hall as fast as his legs allowed him. Hand holding tight over his mouth. Until he reached the bathroom, fell down in front of the toilet and threw up. He stayed there for a while, laying his head on his arms and waiting for the second round.

The second round was rougher than the first. He gaged and coughed, whined as his throat burned in pain of all the sudden actions. He wanted to stop, but his body kept pushing more up from his stomach.

Hyungwon ended up staying home from school for a week. Thanks to the maid again for saving his ass when his father wanted to kill him. His mother always came into his bedroom in the morning and after work. Then she came and left as she wanted.

She comforted him, silently and softly talking to him, hoping he’d feel better for each visit. She brought soups, weird tasting herbal teas and a bunch of coughing drops.

Each time he ran off to the toilet, his mother would follow. Holding his bangs away from his eyes, soothingly stroking his back.

“Maybe you should go to the doctor’s?” she suggested.

“No,” he simply answered. He didn’t mean it to sound so bitter and cold, but he refuses to ever go into a place where a doctor is. Especially if it’s about him.

“But darling, you’ve been sick for days. You can’t continue like this.”

Hyungwon didn’t mind being home, but he did mind running off to the bathroom almost every day. And the little fever he had each morning.

“I’ll be better sooner or later.”

 

Hyungwon didn’t get worse, but not better either. Instead his mood changed faster than a cheetah could run. Hoseok watched a movie with him a Saturday evening. One moment Hyungwon was laughing like crazy when the little baby showed up in a suit. The next he scolded Hoseok for commenting through the whole movie, which he did just once. And then he was crying like a waterfall when the baby drove off in the backseat of a cab.

Hoseok didn’t question it at all. He had known the younger for so long that he had experienced even heavier mood swings. He did worry a bit at the end of the evening. When he heard sobs from the kitchen and was met with a pair of wet, red swollen eyes.

“What happened?” Hoseok softly asked, walked over to him and took the scissors out of his hands.

“I-I… I chopped the carrot, a-and right in front if its family,” Hyungwon said, tears rolling down his cheeks once more as he pointed at the box of carrots.

Okay, but what the actual fuck?

“You’re tired, and I think you’re drunk too. Let’s get you to bed,” how could he possibly be drunk if he hadn’t even drunk half of the wine glass’ content?

Hoseok moved to walk out of the kitchen with him. But Hyungwon stomped with his feet and crossed his arms over his chest.

“No! Hyungwonnie no sleep. He will stay up and eat!” he whined, turned and picked up the carrot pieces.

So, Hyungwon’s referring to himself as ‘Hyungwonnie’, which he hates being called of the elder? And he cried like a toddler because he chopped a carrot before other carrots? _And_ with a scissor? How drunk can that boy become by that little amount of wine?

“That’s it, Hyungwonnie will go to bed, say good night to the carrots and be a good boy and go brush your teeth,” Hoseok said, feeling really like a parent as he tried to get Hyungwon away from the carrots.

“Don’t call me Hyungwonnie!” he suddenly shouted and marched out of the kitchen. “I can control myself and my bedtime.”

Geez.

Hoseok cleaned after the other. He sneaked up into his bedroom to see if he really went to bed. There, curled into his duvet, teddy bear close to his chest, he silently snored. He looked vulnerable where he laid. Hoseok walked up to him, caressed his cheek and kissed his forehead. Then he turned off the lamp and tippy toed out of the room. Leaving him alone in the house.

Was it safe? Leaving the now toddler Hyungwon alone?

Probably, he sleeps like a dead man anyway.

 

 

Hyungwon experienced a bunch of different feelings each day. It tired him and he went to bed earlier than he had ever done. He was happy, feeling just a little down, normal, super happy, then he could spit fire and see red in no time. He was back in school, and each time Hyunwoo looked at him he would snap. The elder respected his wishes that said: _‘fucking look somewhere else and not at ME’._

Hoseok was left with his mouth wide open each time Hyungwon was aggressive towards his boyfriend. But ended up staying shut about it because he didn’t want to upset the other more than he already was.

Hyungwon had curled up into a little ball in the last recess. His head rested on Hoseok’s lap as he listened to himself breathing calmly.

“I’m a little worried,” Hoseok whispered low, apparently he thought he didn’t speak loud enough for the other to hear. But he heard clearly. Hyungwon stayed silent though, was too out of energy to do anything at that moment.

“He was sick for over a week, I think it’s the remaining viruses in his body,” Hyunwoo answered, reassuringly stroking his arm. “He’ll be fine.”

 

After school, he was met with an empty house. Hyungwon didn’t complain. It was nice having the big house for himself, the emptiness swallowing him and his problems. His parents are usually stuck with work for a long time now and then. Either it is a few days a week, or a few weeks a month. The maids were with them on business trips. They were never in the house if his parents weren’t.

They used to when he was a kid, because he was too small to be alone. When he turned 15 they started leaving him alone. Always with easy dinner options, like microwave food or takeaway flyers. Or he joined Minhyuk, Hoseok and Hyunwoo out for meals. Having the house all to himself, that was the best part of this family.

He could stay in the living room without seeing his parents all over. Nor having to listen to his father’s ‘your future is important’ speech. Plus, who doesn’t like being home alone now and then?

The TV played a bad 70s romance movie. Nothing happened, except that the girl kept getting mad on her boyfriend, left him, and complained to her friends what a bad boyfriend he was.

Hyungwon glanced out of the window, saw Changkyun’s house and sighed. Was he allowed to wonder what the elder was doing? Well he was anyway.

He turned back to the TV, pressed the button with an arrow and searched up something else. He scrolled through every channel they had, and ended up with a random music channel. A pop artist danced over the screen, half naked, and then the scene moved, she now wore a scarf bigger than her whole body.

Hyungwon leaned back, closed his eyes and tried to figure out what he could do. Being alone always brought boredom, even if you didn’t do anything with the other people living in your house when they were home.

He listened to the lyrics. The few English words he understood was enough to tell him it was a sensual song. Of course, it’s a pop song.

_Move your hands down my body, baby let me feel you_.

Hyungwon’s hands slid down his torso, brushing over his chest and stomach. They slid under his shirt, slowly bringing it up and revealing his pale stomach. Goosebumps traced under his hands and cold air licked the free skin. He let out a shaky breath as his fingers brushed over his right nipple. He rubbed over it, pinched it and rolled it between his fingers. It hardened fast and his hands slid down again.

Then Hyungwon hooked his fingers under the pants’ brief. He waited a few seconds. Feeling his heart speed up to what his thoughts were asking for. He tugged them down, underwear following and his dick sprung free. Half hard and proudly standing.

Hyungwon’s hand ignored it, slid straight past it and down to between his legs. His breath hitched when his cold fingers touched the area close to his entrance.

_Wait…_

The fucking lube was upstairs.

He had the choice of quitting, or getting the lube.

Or he could continue, which was the option he chose without hesitation.  Instead he brought his fingers up to his mouth and sucked on them. When they were coated enough with spit, since he had become so eager that he couldn’t wait anymore, he brought them down again. A finger slipped easily in, easing a sigh from between his lips. It stretched, and it would feel better if he had lube. No guarantee, but okay.

He started moving the finger, lips parting to make it easier for him to breathe. He added a second one, but retreated fast when he felt the stretch tearing his skin open.

Hyungwon moved his finger around a few times, then tried again. There, much better. He moved his fingers slightly faster, breath speeding up and leaving his lips in irregular puffs. Hyungwon crooked his fingers and moaned lowly. He continued to speed up, and then he was moaning and whining nonstop.

He sat up, pressing his lower parts down onto his fingers and felt them go even deeper. Eyes darted down and watched fingers disappearing into him. They wore a weak glimmer in the light from the TV. First they were a pretty pink, white, and then yellow.

Hyungwon’s head fell back, mouth open and a moan was released into the open space. It echoed, and Hyungwon could already imagine all the sounds that would later bounce between the walls around him. He wasn’t even being loud now compared to what he usually is.

A third digit slipped in, and the pace increased. Hyungwon’s legs started trembling, he felt his fingers reaching his sweet spot for each time they dived into him.

“Fuck,” he whispered, thrusted them harsher into himself.

He suddenly remembered one day as a kid when he found a cat in their backyard, how happy he was and pleased to be able to pet something. He had lifted the cat up, walked over to the front of their house and called out for his parents. Hyungwon remember how disappointed he was when someone shouted the cat’s name. The little creature had jumped down and ran straight over the street, into the arms of his crush.

How funny, he thinks of Changkyun’s -now dead- cat as he fingers himself.

_Changkyun_.

“Ah,” a short, pitched moan sounded.

Then he started imagining the fingers as his. Were they skilled? Maybe, probably because he may have slept with a ton of people.

Hyungwon wished he was one of them, or rather, the only one. He was the one laying under Changkyun, being fucked till he couldn’t walk for weeks.

Hyungwon dumped back, hips lifting giving him an easier position to fuck himself faster. The fingers headed for his prostate the next second, making his eyes roll back, hips falling down and back arching. A ton of swearwords fell from his mouth between moans and mumbles.

He pictured Changkyun and him. Imagined all different positions, places and what his mind could come up with. The mischievous smirk on the elder’s face when he’d deny his orgasm.

His stomach tickled, giving him a sort of stimulation. In the next second he spilled his cum over his chest while screaming.

He continued to slowly move his fingers as his dick finished leaking come. Hyungwon whined, squirmed and pressed his eyes shut. He knew he could stop, but the feeling of overstimulation was the best part. According to Hyungwon.

He slipped into his clothes again, slowly raising up. He clicked the off button on the remote, and waddled to his room.

Maybe one day he’d get to see those images in real life.

 

 


	6. Fourteen Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I wrote this chapter and mentioned that horror movie, thinking back to what happened, how the movie was and just reminding myself how much I hate and fear horror movies, istg it was a pain to go to the bathroom when the house was completely dark. Bruh I thought I was about to die. Why do I make myself suffer?   
> Buuuuut, Wonnie gon figure out he preggo ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hoseok looked at Hyungwon with his brow crooked, eyes carefully observing has the younger walked away towards the bathrooms. He turned over to his boyfriend, meeting his equally questioning look.

“Didn’t he just-?” he asked, wasn't able to finish his sentence before Hoseok nodded.

“You still think it’s the virus in his body?”

“No, either something is going on or he just has a bad bladder,” Hyunwoo said, leaning against his locker and turning to look at Hoseok.

“He is going insane that’s for sure.”

 

 

 

“During World War second there were two groups. The allies were Britain, Australia, France- Chae?” the history teacher looked over his glasses as he pointed at Hyungwon. The class turned around to look at him, what an annoying habit students have in this century.

His arm slid down and he silently asked:  
“May I go to the toilet?” his thigs were sore from pressing together for so long. He thought he could wait to use the bathroom till the lesson was over. But he was wrong.

The teacher glanced at the clock, probably thinking back to the start of the lesson when Hyungwon had excused himself for being late. Yes, correct, because he was in the bathroom when the bell rang.

“Be quick,” he simply answered, turned back and continued with his lesson.

Hyungwon raised up and left the classroom. Hurriedly walking to the bathroom and locked the door. He unbuckled his belt and leaned over the toilet. Sigh left his lips as the heaviness in his stomach disappeared.

He zipped up his pants and walked out. Now that he was face to face with his reflection, he could ask himself.

“What’s wrong with you?”

He hadn’t counted, but the teachers could have. He went to pee almost each recess, once or twice during the two next lessons, and around four times at home. He drank a lot during the school day, but not that much. Just the usual amount.

Hyungwon couldn’t ignore the weird stares he got from his classmates, or the teachers that walked in the halls, seeing Hyungwon yet again heading for the bathrooms. Hoseok and Hyunwoo’s faces always twisted into question marks when he mentioned that he had to pee.

As the day slowly finished and he could go home, he was slightly spooked out of his skin when an arm wrapped around his waist. Hoseok smiled his wide gummy smile and laughed. Hyunwoo followed and linked his hand with Hoseok’s.

“I called Min, we’ll have a little movie night at your place,” Hoseok cheered as he slightly bounced. Blond hair flowing into the air and waving with his movements.

“What about asking me? Never thought of that?” Hyungwon smiled as his arm suffered from the bounces it was given through Hoseok’s tight grip.

“When does he ever ask? He’d plan a whole wedding at your place before he would even think of asking you,” Hyunwoo joked, leaving Hoseok pouting and Hyungwon laughing.

“That is not true,” he defended.

“That _is_ true,” Hyungwon said.

Hoseok ended up laughing with them. He had his revenge when he brought up every little thing the youngest had done that was embarrassing. It was promised to never be mentioned, outside their friend group. Hyungwon regretted not saying _ever_ when they made the promise.

Minhyuk arrived an hour after he had said. He blamed work and dumped down on the nonexistent space between Hyungwon and Hoseok. They had already started the movie they were talking about, but Minhyuk didn’t say anything. Which was a slight shock to the others. He always complained and whined, wouldn’t shut up about _‘why is he like this?’, ‘who is she?’, ‘what the fuck is the plot?’._ But today he was silent as a rock.

They found another movie when it finished, Hoseok wanted to see a documentary about the Niagara Falls, Hyunwoo a horror movie, Hyungwon a science-fiction movie from the early 2000s. Again it was a shock when Minhyuk didn’t insist with either Disney or cartoons. During the three males’ argument they became silent, looking at Minhyuk and expected something.

Nothing happened.

“Why don’t you say anything?” Hyungwon asked.

“I have other things to think about,” he smiled, a weak pink spreading over his cheeks.

“Eww, dude if you think about your man with the +18 part of your brain you can leave,” Hoseok scrunched his nose and leaned closer to Hyunwoo.

“No, no of course not. But it doesn’t matter, so which movie is next?”

Hyunwoo won the movie argument this time. They watched a movie called _Most Likely To Die_. Hoseok was the only lucky one, who had his strong muscular boyfriend to keep him safe next to him. Yeah, he is muscular himself, but a little wimp indeed.

Hyungwon and Minhyuk started with a cushion each, but ended up curled together in a tight embrace after the first glance of the murderer.

“Run, run, run, run!!!” Minhyuk shouted, watched the girl run and being trapped shortly after.

“If she dies, I swear I- AAAA,” Hyungwon screamed as he saw the murderer.

“Remind me to never attend to a graduation reunion,” Hoseok’s trembling voice sounded muffled into Hyunwoo’s chest.

“Remind me to never be close to nor wear graduation clothing,” Hyunwoo said, holding tight around Hoseok. Not for his own sake, for the younger’s.

When the movie finally ended, were they all panting and holding each other tighter than they’d ever done. Hyunwoo was the least scared one, but he couldn’t hide the little flinch that jolted through his body when a clunk sounded from the empty soda cans.

They cleaned up, turned off the TV and ran upstairs when the light was flicked off. The three youngest ran up the stairs, leaving Hyunwoo to be the one who had turn off the remaining lights.

“Baby I love you, if he catches you I won’t save you, but I’ll call the police,” Hoseok yelled for the other to hear as he leaned over the banister.

“Very soothing, thank you very much,” the sarcastic voice sounded, and then it was silent.

It was silent for two minutes, Hoseok dared to walk two steps down, crouching to look into the darkness. Between the two pieces of wood he could make out tiny details. But no Hyunwoo.

“Fuck, baby where did you go? I’m sorry,” he said loudly, taking another step, and then another. The stairs creaked and a shiver ran up the three males’ spines.

“This is indeed not normal. Horror in real life? No-fucking-thank you, good bye,” Minhyuk mumbled, turned and walked to Hyungwon’s bedroom.

Hoseok turned to walk up when he heard roaring behind him. Before even thinking twice about it he screamed, ran up the remaining steps and after Minhyuk. Hyungwon screamed together with him and ran.

They threw themselves into Hyungwon’s bedroom, hearts racing as they looked at the door. Minhyuk’s eyes were wide as he watched the two other males’ scared faces.

"Lock it, lock it, lock it," Hyungwon whispered over and over.

"Hyunwoo," Hoseok answered, but took the few steps between him and the door to close it.

“Boo,” Hyunwoo said when he jumped in front of the door.

Hoseok screamed once again and jumped so high Hyungwon was scared he'd hit his head on the ceiling.

“You son of a bitch!” Hyungwon panted out, clutching his shirt where he could feel the beat of his heart hammer against his ribs.

Hyunwoo apologized a thousand times, but was left alone on the floor as the others filled up the space on the youngest's bed. He mentioned that he wanted to see _The Ritual_ with them, but they answered with a shout of _no_ simultaneously.

Hyungwon didn’t like the thought that he had to get pillows, mattresses and blankets from the guestroom in the other part of the house. He’d drag one of them with him whether they wanted or not. It would most likely be Hyunwoo. He wouldn’t run away from him, screaming like a little girl when one of the pillows would fall from the closet without any of them touching it.

Wouldn’t he?  
Please say no.

 

 

 

Hyungwon woke up last as always, the other's alarms had shouted at them a while ago, he had snoozed his for so long. He waddled out of the bed, towards the bathroom and knocked. A low hum was heard between the sounds of water splashing on the tiles.

He walked in, the dew-covered shower doors revealing it was Hoseok standing inside. The raven-haired closed the door after himself and peeled off his oversized PJ t-shirt. He opened the drawers, closed them and turned to look at Hoseok.

“Done soon?”

“Relax, there's plenty of warm water left,” Hoseok chuckled.

He turned to the mirror again, leaning closer to see the details of his face. The black rings under his eyes were always there in the morning. They would be gone as fast as he got a shower. The little bumps that formed and would later turn into painful pimples would soon meet a layer of his best face creams.

Hyungwon’s eyes wandered south, inspecting his body. He frowned as he realized he’d gained some weight. A bump stretched his boxer into a rounder shape on his lower abdomen. He turned to the side and realized the bump was a bit bigger.

The water turned off, and a dripping wet Hoseok stepped out, walked up to him and locking his gaze with the younger in the mirror.

“Trying to give yourself constructive criticism? Because you’re thin as a stick,” he said, grabbed a towel and started to dry himself. Was he scared of walking around, naked and free for everyone to see? No, has never been either.

“No, I seriously gained weight.”

“Good, you need some fat,” he said, looked down to his stomach. Lips parted slowly and he looked fast up again. “That’s not fat.”

Hyungwon looked up, a hint of nervousness in his eyes. The blond was fast to get into his underwear and sweatpants. He called out for Minhyuk, and the bathroom was shortly after filled with their two other friends.

They all looked at his stomach, mumbling and placing pieces together. Minhyuk ran out of the bathroom, came back with his little toiletry bag.

“Here, use this,” he said and gave a little fever thermostat looking object to him. “Pee on it.”

Hoseok and Hyunwoo looked at him, “why do you have that?”

“Me and Jooheon are trying,” his cheeks wore the weak pink they did the evening before. “That’s all I’ll say.”

Well that explains why he had something else to think about.  
Slightly shocked Hyungwon stared at his friends. They turned around, giving him a little privacy as he did as told. Then he held the little object in his hands with the other standing in a circle around him.

The result showed up on the little screen. Hoseok and Minhyuk gasping, while Hyunwoo muttered _oh my god_.

What?

Why oh my god?

Why the gasps?

“Hyungwon, do you understand what that means?”

Hyungwon couldn’t bring his voice to speak, so he shook his head.

“You’re pregnant!” Hoseok shouted, it was hard to tell if it was happy or shocked.

“That explains the sickness,” Hyunwoo said, took the pregnancy test into his hand and looked at it.

Yup, _positive_.

“I’m what?” Hyungwon asked, voice shaking.

“You’re pregnant. A child is growing in your stomach,” Minhyuk explained, a comforting smile on his lips.

Hyungwon was silent, he looked at his stomach, the test and back to his stomach. He couldn’t be. He hadn’t had sex since…middle school.

Except, that party. With the guy he brought home, whose identity was never revealed.

Oh, Hyungwon was dead meat now.

“Dad will kill me,” Hyungwon whispered.

“Oh, fuck him. We have to figure out who the father is,” Minhyuk groaned, but smiled at the end.

“Don’t forget that we have to take care of Hyungwon and his choices,” Hyunwoo said, but neither Hoseok nor Minhyuk heard him.

 

 


	7. Nineteen Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any of you engages in the abortion situation going on and may feel offended or get angry because of this chapter, then my deepest apology. I do not want to make someone angry, I wrote this only because it is to the storyline and some deal with such thoughts when they figure out they're pregant.  
> Also a heads up to abuse at the end of the chapter.

They were all caught up with school, and work, the next weeks. Hyunwoo and Hoseok read to their upcoming test-hurricane, Minhyuk had to work extra shifts next to his studies, and Hyungwon just struggled with concentration. He did his best when he had the time at home, to figure out the possible father. But ended up with nothing.

It was during the second week of investigation he gave up. Couldn’t he just take tests to figure out who the father is?

He has never heard of it. Not until the baby is born at least.

Should he even keep the baby?

If yes; his family will kill him, school would probably end up ruining his life. Or he’d do it first.

Hyungwon didn’t let a day pass without thinking about it. Which ended up with no interest in anything else. He was silent, deep in his thoughts, not paying attention, just completely gone.

He had long conversations with Hoseok or Minhyuk until the middle of the night. He felt bad for keeping them up so late, but he was stressing all day long and it made him anxious.

Does he want to keep the baby?

Hyungwon had always imagined a family, not like this, but he could remember seeing kids around his feet. He loved them, although they could be annoying to the core sometimes.

But then, the possible father, who is he? He has the rights to know too. Doesn’t he? Hyungwon had read that the father couldn’t choose whether the pregnant _woman_ should take abortion or not. He’s a man, does it still count?

Stop with the questions, just… please stop for one second.

Hyungwon inhaled deep, held it in his lungs and exhaled.

“Do not overthink,” he whispered, slowly stroking his arm for comfort. “It’ll either be over soon, or you’ll find a solution.”

Hoseok promised to help him as much as he could. Hyunwoo said he’d ask the possible people who could’ve been at the party. He had his contacts, he had explained. Minhyuk said he’d give him all the baby and pregnancy advice he’d need. Jooheon said he was willing to help when he came to pick up his fiancé once.

Hyungwon was so happy for all the support his friends gave him. It was unbelievable.

They gave the investigation a name too; ‘Operation Baby Father’.

It was cute, but Hyungwon never said it, just rolled his eyes.

“You’ve already checked the security cameras, anything else that could have recorded what happened?” Jooheon asked, looked from Hyunwoo to Hyungwon.

“I have no idea,” Hyungwon answered and looked at Hyunwoo. His nose was dug into his computer as his fingers tapped aggressively the buttons as he chatted. Earlier he had used both his phone and computer at once, but the rush of notifications had calmed.

“Six people said they never saw you, three said they saw you only talking to Changkyun's friend, aaand…” Hyunwoo trailed off as he stared at the screen. “One said she saw you leave with a guy, but doesn’t remember since she was too drunk.”

Hyungwon nodded, thanked him, but the elder said that he wasn’t done yet.

Minhyuk and Hoseok were scrolling through social media, studying each photo thoroughly. They had been silent from the second they pulled up their phones. Jooheon searched the web.

It was a while ago, but Jooheon still insisted in looking through the house. Hyungwon followed him around, pointed at places he could remember. The bedroom wasn’t even considered. It was already cleaned a thousand times since last time. Possible things he could have left would probably not be in the same place or thrown away.

“Want me to contact Changkyun? I can ask if he saw you and if he knows about someone who could have joined you?” he suggested on their way downstairs. "Discreet though."

“It won’t bother him? Isn’t he busy with job?”

“That bum? Hah, never. I’ll give him a quick call and I’ll be back,” he smiled, headed for the exterior door while pressing buttons on his phone.

Too lazy to cross the street?

We love that.

Back in his seat on the couch, was Hyungwon met with a little smile from Minhyuk.

“I found this,” he said, reached out his phone to the ravenette. Hyungwon took it and looked at the picture, somewhere in the back he could see himself, looking into the crowd of dancing people.

He could hear the music deep in his head. The thundering bass making his brain bounce and hurt after a while. The tight group of dancing people were almost impossible to move into as he had his eyes locked with piercing eyes in the crowd.

He was more than happy to have forgotten the headache that damn bass gave him.

The picture didn’t tell anything else. Only that he was staring at someone. It brought a few seconds of his memory back, but it wasn’t enough.

“It doesn’t say much, but it did give me a little flashback.”

“Good!” he smiled wide.

Jooheon returned, still on the phone. He said his goodbye and sat down in the chair on the other side of the table. He looked up and met four pairs of curious eyes.

“He doesn’t remember seeing you at all, but he said he could call the friend that hosted the party,” Jooheon smiled, tried to lighten the tense feeling in the room.

They ended the evening around 8 PM. None of them were satisfied by the small things they had figured out. Hyungwon was happy he knew at least a little bit more now. He thanked his friends and went to bed earlier than usual.

 

 

 

The investigation continued individually. Well, Hyunwoo and Hoseok worked together, and Jooheon and Minhyuk worked together, if they needed. Hyungwon was alone, except for his brain giving him a bunch of questions to think of all day.

He had discussions with himself, thinking of different scenarios and what to do. Short movies played in his head, either being dramatic or just showing how much of a failure he was.

No, he refuses to think like that. It's stupid, he is the one who is responsible for his life. He should choose what he wants to do with his life, not his family. His actions have brought him to a dead end right now, but he's doing his best, so is his friends. Hyungwon won't let his family ruin that.

This may even end up with so many options for him. Whether they will be good or bad. There is a reason why this happened after all, isn't it?

"Okay, Hyungwon, snap out of there," he mumbled to himself.

He lifted his body up and off the bed and walked over to his closet. He reached out for a blanket he stored inside and waddled back to bed while wrapping it around himself.

Hyungwon placed his computer on his pillow and laid down on his stomach. While he waited for the _log in_ display to show up, was he texting back and forth with Hoseok. A minute didn't pass without having any of them sending a message. The chat looked more or less like:

**_Hyungwon 10.34AM_ **

**_Hoseok 10.35PM_ **

**_Hyungwon 10.36PM_ **

and so on.

They had unfortunately not figured out anything more than yesterday. Hyungwon had thought so from the start of the day.

He was impatient, he realized that more and more when he thought over what he kept thinking and saying to himself. But he didn't have all the time in the world to figure out, and either he or someone else, ahem his family, would figure it out first.

After pressing in his password, he was met with the light desktop he had chosen a while back. It was one of those basic suggestions your computer gives you when you want to change the background. He chose a landscape picture of a mountain. A lake was in front of it, which again was surrounded by a forest of pine trees. It had a cozy feeling, always gave him a relaxing feeling.

His profile picture was of him, Hoseok and Minhyuk posing weirdly to the camera. Hyungwon grimacing, Hoseok like those girls in animes that poses for a boy, lips pressed together, wink and fingers forming the v-sign, Minhyuk just stuck his tongue out.

They took the pictures back in middle school, but that didn't matter since it was a sign of how strong their friendship was. Or Hyungwon just didn't know what else to have as a profile picture and never bothered to change.

Over to the research, Hyungwon went back to checking if people still posted about the party. Just a few girls did. Their captions went from: _'I miss this, bring it back'_ to _'fucking best day whoooo'_.

Is it bad that he can hear the _whoooo_? Not enthusiastic, but a bit more bored and dead, like the person figuring out what to write, he doubt she was actually _whoooo_ -ing with enthusiasm.

Hyungwon searched till his fingers were sore. His eyes burned by the brightness and his head started to ache at the loss of blinking. It was late in the afternoon when he decided that now was the end of his internet searching. Nothing was out there, no need to waste all that time on it then.

He thought back to the security camera. It can't possibly hide that much can it? Maybe he can edit the clip into a brighter mode? Switch cameras to see them in different angles?

Oh, hell yes, he will.

Hyungwon left his room and padded around the house, after clearing the path he went to the data room. The numbers beeped under his touch and the door clicked. He sneaked inside and dumped down into the chair.

He repeated the action, went into folders to find the one for the security cameras' recordings. The date was harder to find. A bunch of new dates were already lying on top, making it difficult for him to sort out all the numbers in front of him.

After scrolling down to a date that was way before the party at least five times, he decided to search it up instead. He pressed the numbers to fill the search field with the date. He pressed enter and the machine started thinking right after.

Hyungwon leaned back, watched the little blue ring run in circles, over and over again. Then it stopped and a little text showed up in the folder.

_Cannot find anything related to: 02.06.19_

What? No, you're kidding. It was there, just weeks ago!

He leaned back up, tried to type in the date differently.

_2 June 2019_

_June 2_

_June 2019_

Still nothing.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Hyungwon mumbled as he tried the scrolling once again. "You can't be serious."

Hyungwon didn't want to believe that it was really gone. The only footage that still could tell him who he brought home, was now gone.

"Looking for something?" a voice spoke up, startling the raven haired out of his skin. The deep voice was enough to make his heart rate speed up and his hands begin to shake.

"No, I-I," he had no excuses, nothing came to his mind. Words were no longer anything in his head as he looked right into his father's eyes.

They were cold, his face emotionless and his arms crossed over his chest. He knew, and Hyungwon knew, that no one was allowed inside his data room. Not even the maids.

"Why are you in here?" he asked, stepping into the room. The younger boy rolled away from the table and stood up from the chair. He hadn't heard him, hadn't heard the lock beeping and the door opening. And how did he know he was in there? Was it a coincidence? How unlucky can he be?

His father took his spot on the chair, clicking back and forth in the folder. Hyungwon backed up towards the door, was about to turn when his father's voice sounded.

"Hyungwon, while you're here," the chair screeched as he turned to look at his son, hands folding together in his lap and eyes staring through Hyungwon's. "Can you explain this?"

He stood there looking at his father, he didn't understand. The elder man nodded towards the screen when he didn't seem to move. Hyungwon then did, slowly walking back and glanced down on the dark screen.

There, on the same screen he had looked at just seconds ago, were the video he searched for. Playing happily for the two males, revealing Hyungwon's secret like nothing would happen.

He didn't dare, didn't dare to look back at his father to meet the gaze he had feared for so long. He leaned back, shaking his head.

No.

Please don't.

Say it's a dream.

Wake up already.

 


	8. Twenty-One Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is late, but I went to a friend's place a few days, then when I got home I was too tired and yesterday was so hot that it brought me a headache. I ended up laying in bed watching PewDiePie with Zizigom, who just stole a heckload of my money.   
> Btw, this friend found a mistake from my notes already from the start, I wrote that pregnancy lasts 40 months, weeeell.....oopsie??? Y'all should have told me.  
> But, the last chapter is continued a bit here, sooooo the Warning counts here too. Else than that.... ;)))

Hyungwon had never been more scared in his whole life. His hands shook, his vision got blurry of the forming tears, and he had whispered:

"No," without knowing. "No, no, no."

His voice disappeared, and he had backed up so his back was pressed against the door. _Just turn, run, leave!_ his mind had told him, the scream of his inner voice didn't shut up, his head filled with noises so loud, leaving him trapped where he stood.

"Who is he? What was he doing here?" his father's voice said, calm, but not the soothing kind of calm.

Hyungwon's head fell, shaking from side to side. He refused to believe that he's awake. He was just tired recently, now he had a nightmare.

The sharp pain of something hard had brought him back. His father's deadly harsh grip on his shoulders could crush them to dust. Eyes stared into his son's as he gritted his teeth. He drew the boy away from the door, then threw him back against it.

"Who is he?!" he had shouted.

Hyungwon couldn't move. His body collapsed onto the floor and his eyes couldn't secure the tears anymore. Voices was heard, his mother and a maid's. The door had opened, his mother dropped down, embracing him and looked up at her husband.

Hyungwon heard, every single word his father said, every word that got the elder woman's embrace to loosen, and soon be gone. She walked back, over to her husband, hugging him instead.

"You're a disappointment, a failure," he spat, glared at him like Hyungwon had feared. Funny, that's exactly what Hyungwon had told himself for so long. "Why are you crying? Feel sorry for yourself? You should have thought about that when you brought a _man_ home!"

The older male had crouched down, grabbed Hyungwon's chin and made him look into his eyes. His free hand swung, connected with Hyungwon's cheek with such force that he was knocked to the side. He stopped breathing, for a second the world stopped, he laid there, on the world in something that wetted his face more and more.

His parents had left, the maid talked to him, said he would be fine, said they would get over it. But what did she know? Nothing, but Hyungwon knew, that they would never look at him the same again.

 

 

Hyungwon stayed in his room, it was a silent house arrest. He only went out to go to the bathroom, or to school. He wasn't allowed to bring someone home, not that he wished for it either. He held a distance to his friends, avoided meeting them and looking at them. He tried to hide in the classroom, but as fast as the other had figured out, were they standing outside already before his class ended.

It was stupid, he worried them for nothing. Well, they were worried already from seeing Hyungwon with the ugliest bruise on his cheek. Although he said it was nothing, he made lies and excuses and changed topics, but Hoseok didn't let it go. He walked up to him after the last class, trapping him in a hug no one could escape.

He didn't say anything, just held him close. The warmth from Hoseok went straight into Hyungwon's heart. He felt bad for keeping it all a secret. He broke down and cried, tears wetting his shirt leaving a soaked spot on his shoulder. The elder didn't seem to care, he just smiled, caressed his back and weakly pecked his face.

"What's going on, baby?" his voice came out in a low whisper.

"He- dad, I-," Hyungwon choked out.

Hoseok lifted his hands and wiped his tears with the back of his hand. He shushed him as his breath hitched and he gasped for air.

"Breathe with me, slowly in," Hoseok said, leaning back to confirming he did the same. They inhaled slowly, held it in and exhaled, repeated it over and over till Hyungwon could breathe without difficulties again.

"Dad found out, he must've seen the video and-," Hyungwon's hands flew up to cover his face as a new wave of tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Hyungwon," he mumbled, holding him close once again.

A few more minutes of silence went by, Hyungwon breaking into tears and hiccups. He tried to collect himself, joined Hoseok on catching his breath now and then.

"You can't stay there anymore, I won't allow it, you're staying at my place until we find a place for you."

Hyungwon could only nod, because he did agree. He can't stay at his parents' house anymore. Neither he nor them wanted it to be like that.

They went to Hoseok's place, the blonde disappeared into the bathroom without saying anything. Rumbling was heard before a whistling sound of water sounded. Hyungwon dropped his backpack on the couch just when Hoseok came back.

He guided the younger into his bathroom before giving him a long hug once again. He leaned back, brushed his hair away from his eyes and caressed his cheek with his fingers.

"I'll order some sushi, with shrimp, and you'll relax in this lavender-heaven I made for you," he smiled, voice soft and reassuring.

"But… Hoseok you don't have to do this."

"I know, but I want to, my baby is going though shit, and I'll take care of him."

Hyungwon scoffed, shook his head, but mumbled: "Thank you."

"No problem," Hoseok replied before padding out of the bathroom.

Hyungwon stepped out of his clothes and sank down into the hot water. Bubbles made way as he sunk down, then removed any sight of the water, leaving him in a lavender smelling bubble ocean. He let out a long sigh, leaning back and closing his eyes. He did need this. His body didn't have to be told to relax before it would shut down completely.

A father, who beats his son because he was with another man. A mother who watches her son get beaten by his father. A father who calls his son a failure for being with a male. A mother not doing anything…they are parents who are not family. Not worth it, not worth anything.

But friends, who helps with figuring who the guy their friend slept with was, driving him to the hospital when he's unconscious. Friends who offers to let him stay at their place till something better shows up. They are family, the family everyone should have. That's worth everything, anything and everything else.

Hyungwon has never been more thankful for his friends than what he is now. He should come up with a way to thank them. He will ask them, when the time is right.

 

Hoseok had left to pick up the food when Hyungwon came out of the bathtub. He wrapped himself into the big fluffy blanket Hoseok always had laying on his sofa and waited. It didn't take long, and when the elder returned he almost jumped in joy.

"Okay, but you could at least be happy to see me and not the sushi," Hoseok chuckled and placed the bag on his little coffee table.

"Oh, come on, you're jealous because I love shrimp? Cute."

"I'm your best friend, I'd like to see a shrimp going out to buy you food!"

"Don't underestimate the power of shrimps," Hyungwon mumbled as he took the first piece between his chopsticks.

Hoseok chuckled again, pressing a button on the remote and the TV flashed with colors. He skipped through channels before they stumbled upon one of the children series they used to watch as kids.

They laughed as the characters ran clumsily around, one stumbled and he dramatically rolled down a hill, the other was building a little doghouse, but it collapsed when he added the roof.

"So," Hoseok said, paused as he waited for Hyungwon to look at him. "How's the baby doing?" he nodded towards his stomach.

"Good…. I don't know if I should keep it though," he whispered, laying a hand on the bump.

Hoseok nodded. "I hope you don't worry about keeping it because of your father. This is completely up to you."  
"It's not him anymore," Hyungwon started and took a sip of his water, "But…I've never had a child, I don't know how to take care of it. I may not be able to afford anything, what if the baby is born and I can't even feed it? What about its father? He should know."

"I understand why you worry. I will help you, Minhyuk and Hyunwoo too, and I'm sure Jooheon is more than happy to help. There are tons of first-time parents tips on the internet, I can ask my parents for tips too if you would ever need. The time will reveal how we'll solve this father problem," Hoseok smiled, laid his hand on top of Hyungwon's and squeezed lightly.

Hyungwon just nodded, looked down on his stomach.

 

 

 

Hyungwon was just about to drift into slumber when the front door to Hoseok's apartment flew open. The force made the door swing all the way over to the wall and a loud bang snapped both of the males back to reality. Their eyes went straight for the door to see their redhaired friend running towards them.

"Hyungwon!! Thank God you're here!" he mumbled fast. "Get you phone and check Changkyun's social media."

"What's going on?" Hyungwon asked, his tired voice was barely above a whisper. He did as told, grabbed his phone and went for the app.

Hoseok and Minhyuk came over to him and leaned over to see the little screen. Minhyuk's hands were trembling and his breath came out in long shaky puffs. His phone loaded in his profile, and his thumb ghosted over the recent square to see it. Silently his mouth fell open. He could recognize the background even if it was almost covered by the main scene.

He had spent his whole life decorating that room. There was no way he could not recognize it from just the tiniest detail. It's his bed, his curtains, his wall decorated with posters, it's his bedroom.

In the middle of the photo, was Changkyun leaning down, lips connected with another male. Their eyes were cropped out of the picture, it only showed from the bridge of their noses down to their shoulders. The male he kissed, was him. It was Hyungwon, laying under Changkyun, being kissed by Changkyun.

Does that mean…?

"Changkyun is the father…" Hoseok whispered.

Hyungwon stared at the photo, Hoseok's words bounced in his head, replaying over and over again.


	9. Twenty-Six Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do y'all know what it means when everything seems to go well? 
> 
> That everything's 'boutta go down  
> -evil laughter-

It took Hyungwon over a week to understand everything. He repeated it all from the start in his head, but was left just as confused as he was in the start. No matter how many times Hoseok and Minhyuk explained, was he still clueless.

During one of the sleepless nights he had, he stared up at Hoseok's ceiling. The elder's breath was calm and rhythmical, it had been all night. His bed creaked now and then when he moved, bedsheets rustled, but then it was silent again.

Hyungwon used to wake up by the other whining and murmuring in his sleep before. Hyungwon would sneak up into his bed, wrapped the blanket, that was kicked to the floor, around them and slept the rest of the night in Hoseok's bed. They had done it since the earliest of their childhood. Whenever one of them had bad dreams, the other would be there to comfort them.

But that's years ago.

Hyungwon had to admit that he missed it. It rarely happened after Hoseok got a boyfriend and Hyungwon never joined any sleepover parties.

But this night was silent. Hyungwon had conversations with himself in his head, again. It was better than just laying there, he got answers to the questions he still didn't know the answer to. Even though his friends explained it in over thousand different ways.

Hyungwon understood it, all from the start. Changkyun was the one he brought home from the party, they slept together and now Hyungwon is pregnant. The child is Changkyun's, he's the father Hyungwon had been turning his house upside down to find. The answer was right before his nose, he was just too blind to catch a glimpse of the hints.

Hyungwon didn't know how to feel, him and the crush he had had for years had done things he always imagined doing, and he didn't remember it. He doubted Changkyun remembered it, since Jooheon had called him and he said he couldn't remember seeing the younger.

But he had posted a picture of them kissing. Why would he do that anyway?

Hyungwon had told himself from the start that the possible father had to know about this. Hyungwon stays true to his words, he'll visit Changkyun's workplace the next day. He was nervous, maybe that was the cause to his sleepless night.

Sleep was nothing for him when that was on his mind. The only thing he could think of was what the upcoming day would be like.

 

 

Hyungwoon looked up at the tall office building towering over every other building nearby. His heart hammered in his chest, hands shook as they clenched into fists. He played with the ends of his sweater to occupy himself and not let others see. His teeth nibbled his lips, pieces of skin were ripped off and a metallic taste gave him shivers. Now that he was standing outside, would he rather go back to Hoseok's to never think of this again.

He hadn't told the others he was going to see him, he could back out any moment and no one would notice.

But, he had come this far, it would be stupid to back out now.

He was the one who wanted to know who the father was anyway.

With a trembling inhale he walked towards the door. It slid automatically open as he stepped under the censor. He could hear his steps loud in his ears and suddenly he felt anxious if the few people in the lobby could hear it too. He glanced around but no one seemed to show interest in him.

He reached the reception desk, a woman smiled to him before rolling over from her computer to look at him.

"May I help you, sir?" she asked, her fingers intertwined as she leaned forward to get good contact with him.

"I-, is Chang- Im Changkyun, is he here today?" Hyungwon silently asked as he tried to sound calm. Which he didn't.

Her gaze inspected Hyungwon, he was not dressed to be in this place at all. Everyone used expensive suits, and there he stood in loose jeans and a way too oversized sweater, mostly to hide his still growing belly.

She rolled back to her computer to read through a document table.

"Yes, do you have a meeting with him?" she glanced over at him again, expecting him to maybe say his name or just _yes_.

"No," he mumbled.

"Well, I'm sorry, sir, but I can't let you in if you don't have an appointment."

Hyungwon had a feeling that wasn't the whole reason why she didn't want to let him in, or at least try to contact Changkyun to ask him. The look she just gave him when she looked at his clothes, it just got him doubting.

Arguing with letting him meet Changkyun wasn't a good idea, she could end up wanting to know why and she doesn't need to know anything of what's going on. Hyungwon just said he'd call for an appointment, thanked her and walked out. He could feel her stare burning on his back, even after exiting the building and stopping far away from all the windows that faced the street.

What now?

All the want to go back to Hoseok's had disappeared, he just wanted to get this over with, even if the fancy behind-desk-personal would deny it. He was more than motivated, and the receptionist just made him switch to _game on_. He knew someone who worked there, he could get Hyungwon in, at least try.

Hah, suck on that, receptionist.

Hyungwon had never been faster with getting his phone up from his pocket. He pressed in Jooheon's number, that he got from Minhyuk to emergencies(basically when Minhyuk was too drunk to think straight) and lifted it to his ear. Silently he listened to the other line being connected as he walked back and forth.

"Hello?" Jooheon's usually cheery voice was replaced with a deep and serious work voice. If he hadn't heard it when they first met and when 'the business chit-chat-shit' calls, Minhyuk's words, the few times he's close to Hyungwon, he'd thought he called the wrong person.

"Hey, it's Hyungwon, I need a favor, or help."

"Oh, hey! Didn't see your name," based on the working tone in his voice, Hyungwon already knew. "What's up? Need to be driven somewhere again?" his joke followed by a short chuckle.

"No, I'm on the outside of your workplace and this receptionist didn't let me in since…I don't have an appointment," he shortly explained, carefully not to say too much, and not too fast. "I need to meet someone." Jooheon was silent, as if he thought of what Hyungwon would have to do there.

"Mmm…Of course," he shortly replied, "Give me a minute, I'll meet you downstairs."  
He hung up, left Hyungwon in silence. He started walking to the door once again, and went into the building for the second time during the last five minutes. He saw the same woman peak up from her computer to look at him. Instead of walking to the desk, he continued towards the hall leading to the stairway and elevators.

In the corner of his eye he saw her talk to someone beside her and raised up, if Jooheon could be quicker he wouldn't have to talk with her again. He really didn't want to.

"Excuse me, sir, you can't-" she started, but was cut off when Jooheon -finally- appeared. Even though it took a few seconds.

"He's a friend of mine, it's okay," he said and smiled. She nodded fast, a startled expression on her face as she apologized to Jooheon, like he was some type of king and she wasn't allowed to even look at him.

"I've never been more happy to see you," Hyungwon said as they walked towards the elevators.

"Ouch, thought you liked me more than that."

Hyungwon laughed and Jooheon smiled wide. They walked into a still open elevator and went for the least occupied side. The elevator's door closed and slowly moved upwards. The two beside them talked about solving some issues with the working environment. One of them kept suggesting solutions and better options, but the other kept denying and making excuses for why it wouldn't work.

Would have thought it was an excellent working environment when the business was earning money enough to buy almost every property on Korean land.

The two co-workers left the elevator at the fourth floor, leaving Hyungwon and Jooheon to continue alone.

"So, why are you here?" Jooheon took the opportunity of being alone to ask, leaning against the wall as if the elevator ride would last for an hour or so.

"I have to talk to Changkyun," Hyungwon simply answered. This time he didn't care of saying too much.

"About Operation Baby Father I guess," Hyungwon nodded, Jooheon pushed off the wall and a _pling_ sounded just before the doors opened. "I'll show you the way."

Hyungwon stayed close to Jooheon the whole way, each time they met someone they would look at him before greeting, mainly, Jooheon. The younger stopped, looked at Hyungwon to ask if he was ready. Hyungwon dared to believe Jooheon knew everything, he was Minhyuk's boyfriend after all. The plapper bird Minhyuk.

Jooheon knocked on a door when Hyungwon gave a sign that he was ready, he didn't wait for an answer before he opened and peaked in.

"Yo, I have a guest for you."

He could tell they were close friends when that's how he greeted the other.

Hyungwon could hear a questioning ' _for me?_ ' before Jooheon turned to him again. He laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly. "I'll be right here if you want. He doesn't bite," he winked and freed up the space in front of the door.

Hyungwon weakly thanked and entered the room. And if it wasn't the messiest office he'd laid his eyes upon, then he doesn't know what is. Papers on the floor, taped to the windows and stacked to the point where it can tip with the weight of one more sheet. Paper clips scattered like Lego on a kid's room, and- is that a stapler in that glass of water?

He looked down on the floor where the owner of the said mess sat. He met Changkyun's eyes immediately, he looked confused but Hyungwon couldn't care about that.

"What-, how… who had a fight in here?" it came out more shocked than expected, but the other male laughed anyway.

"It's messy, I know. Got a huge task from my boss, that's all," his deep voice and that little laughter at the end was enough to snap Hyungwon out of the trance.

"Shit, sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"No worries," he waved with his hand and rose up, clapping his hands together to get the dust, or paper clips, off his hands. "Can I help you with something?"

He had completely forgotten why he was there, but now that he remembered, was his nerves back.

How should he say it?

Hyungwon had thought of hundred ways to say it, explain everything, but now it all disappeared like a leaf on a windy field. He knew how stupid he looked, standing there, staring at the elder, mouth falling open and closing right after.

"Are you okay?" he cocked his head and took a step forward.

Hyungwon nodded, closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands.

_Come on, just say it, straight out. Fast, do it, Hyungwon!_

A soundless sigh escaped his lips and he looked back up.

His words were caught in his throat when he realized how close Changkyun was. He had danced between the maze of papers and over to him so silently. His hand was on his arm as he tried to look into his eyes.

"Should I get Jooheon?" Changkyun silently suggested.

Oh, mister Im, you should just have known how hard you make it for Hyungwon.

Hyungwon shook his head weakly side to side.

Deep breath now,

and say it.

"You remember the party? Your friend's, a while ago…"

"Yes?" Changkyun took a step back when Hyungwon seemed to feel uncomfortable, his hand no longer around the younger's arm.

"I-I know it sounds crazy, but we left to go to my place and then we…we slept together," Hyungwon knew there was no way out now, he had fed the monster and it would demand more.

"I know."

He knows? Why haven't he said something then? Jooheon called and he said he _hadn't seen him_.

What does he mean _he knows_?

"You told Jooheon you didn't… I don't get it."

"I didn't tell him because I didn't know at that time," he smiled and sat down on the little space he had on his desk. "Plus, he doesn't need to know everything I do. But why do you ask? Want me to take down the post of us?"

Speaking of that, so he did know it was Hyungwon when he posted it.

Instead of answering that question, took Hyungwon a deep breath before speaking up again:

"I'm pregnant," it came out as a mumble, a whisper maybe, but Changkyun clearly heard.

He stared at him, lips parting but no words left. They didn't say anything, looked at each other as if that would talk for them. Changkyun's eyes flicked to see behind him, to catch a glimpse of a friend who was hiding, maybe even eavesdropping, on the other side of that wall.

Hyungwon's fingers started scratching his other wrist, nervously looking at his feet. A sigh made his eyes dart straight back to Changkyun, he shook his head, eyes closed and fingers massaging his temple.

"I'm sorry," Changkyun said, hand falling down to clap on his thigh. The sound made Hyungwon flinch, bringing memories of his father's violent actions back.

He took a step back, hands touching the rough surface of the wood door. His eyes pressed so tight he could see spots of white, black and grey waltz over his eyelids.

"Ple-please don't-," Hyugnwon mumbled, his knees became weak under his weight, they gave out a few times and he struggled with keeping his balance.

"Whoa, hey," sounded from Changkyun, he wrapped his arms around him, but when Hyungwon suddenly collapsed he fell down with him. "Fuck, are you okay?" Changkyun suddenly cursed, cupped his cheek to look him in the eyes, terrified he turned away. "Shit, Jooheon!"

 

 


	10. Twenty-Nine Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its like....2am and im here publishing chapter(and writing a future one) because im too eager to wait until i wake up which is probbaly going to be noon and then id use hours before turning on my computer and ohmygod i actually just want to give yall all the chaps(havent even written them all) already, im so eager like...kids with a sugar rush can go home, im in the fucking house now, at the same time i dont want this to end because im having so much fun.  
> *inhale*  
> okay sorry.  
> im tired  
> whose idea was it  
> ˢʰᶦᵗ ᶦᵗ ʷᵃˢ ᵐᶦⁿᵉ

 

Hyungwon had his toothbrush shoved inside his mouth when it knocked on the door. He eyed the closed bathroom door before turning to the mirror. White bubbles of toothpaste smeared over his lips, thanks to the toothbrush. A few new knocks sounded throughout the apartment.

"Hyungwon!! Go get the door!" Hoseok shouted from somewhere.

He spat out the toothpaste, dried the remaining on his lips on his sleeve and went to open the door. He had zero interest in telling the other to do it, Hyunwoo was over and he didn't need to be threatened to open the door by getting to know what they did.

Hyungwon checked once again if there was any white left around his lips in the mirror next to the door before gripping the doorknob. He opened the door just enough to see who it was before opening it a little more.

"Hey," Changkyun greeted, lifted his hand in a smooth wave.

He wore casual clothes, something Hyungwon had rarely seen him wear. Sweatpants resting on his hips, a t-shirt with something in French printed on, and an unzipped jacket hanging loosely from his shoulders. His hair wasn't styled as usual, hair straws stuck out here and there.

"Long time no see," Changkyun continued when Hyungwon didn't seem to say anything. "I apologize for not contacting you, I've been busy with work and didn't get a day off before now."

"It's okay," Hyungwon felt his stomach fill with butterflies, Changkyun was there to see him. "Would you want to come in?" Hyungwon didn't know if he was allowed to let him in, especially when God knows what the two others were doing, but he didn't want the other to feel unwanted. But it was too late now.

"If I may, then thank you," Changkyun smiled, walked in and neatly places his shoes next to Hyunwoo's huge ass Converse.

Boy, this man has manners like no other.

Hyungwon showed the way to the living room. He sat down on the couch, Changkyun went for the chair next to the corner the raven-haired occupied.

"It was quite hard finding you, you know."

"Oh? What do you mean?" Hyungwon lifted up his legs and tucked them up under his chest, leaning his head against his knees to look at the other.

"I went to your house, but your mother said you didn't live there anymore. So, I went to Jooheon to ask Minhyuk, since you two apparently know each other," Changkyun paused let the information sink in for the other. "He refused to tell me where you were, because I didn't say why I wanted to know, Jooheon doesn't know the difference between Ho-, Hos-, and Woo…?" he trailed off, looked at the younger in hope of help.

"Hoseok and Hyunwoo," Hyungwon giggled, the other's face lit up and he smiled.

"Yes! You know your friends better than me. Anyway he doesn't know the difference between Hoseok and Hyunwi's place."

"Hyunwoo," Hyungwon corrected, wondering how the other got an _i_ at the end.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," he softly smiled when Hyungwon continued to laugh.

Hyungwon enjoyed the next moment a lot. They sat there, in complete silence, staring at the other's face, smile reflecting smile. He opened his mouth to ask a question, but the thought left his mind as soon as a sound echoed through the apartment to their ears.

"Yes! Fuck, fuck, there!" Hoseok's moans sounded.

Hyungwon felt his cheeks heat up, his eyes widened. Changkyun just looked a little shocked at the sudden sound. He let out a yelp when the younger grabbed his arm and dragged him towards the door. They slipped into their shoes faster than anyone had ever done and left the apartment in a hurry, mostly Hyungwon pushing them out.

On the outside of the door a little farther down the hall Hyungwon stopped to take a breather. He bent down leaning against the wall when he heard the other laugh. He joined shortly after when it replayed in his head. It was funnier now that he had calmed a little.

"Shit, oh my god, I'm sorry I had no id- oh shit!" Hyungwon panted, hands flying up to cover his still burning red cheeks. "I knew they were there, but I didn't know Hos-," well he actually had an idea didn't he?

"Stop!" Changkyun interrupted between his laughing. "I don't want to know who it was, even if I might know. It will be awkward to meet them."

Changkyun winked and smiled, Hyungwon's heart must have done a trillion summer saults, he just nodded and smiled back. But his heart kept hammering in his chest.

"Would you like to go to my place? We can't stay here forever," the elder asked.

"If you're okay with it," Hyungwon replied, leaned away from the wall to stand properly on his feet.

"Okay with what? Having you over? Are you a serial killer or something?" he scoffed and crossed his arms.

"I mean," Hyungwon clicked his tongue to avoid the smile, but it spread over his lips defying his wish. "I have heard I can kick really hard."

Changkyun seemed to struggle with keeping his smile back, even his laughter, as he tried to speak but kept letting out tiny puffs of laughter instead. "I can handle that."

"If you say so," Hyungwon shrugged his shoulders and followed the other to the parking garage.

Their steps echoed as they walked through the concrete hall. The hall was far away from narrow, but they still walked with their arms pressed against the other's.

Changkyun opened the door, immediately revealing the cars parked along the walls and letter printed sections. He started walking towards the concrete beams with blue Ds painted on. He turned around to see if Hyungwon was still hanging on, he fumbled in his pockets and drew up a key. He reached it to Hyungwon, who looked back and forth from it to him.

"C'mon try to find it," he wiggled the keys, they clinked together, daring Hyungwon to take the challenge.

Hyungwon took the keys, pressed the unlocking button but nothing happened. He turned around, walked over to different cars but _nothing_ happened. Was it even in this section?

He had never paid attention to Changkyun's car, always too caught up in his beauty that anything else was out of focus. Especially cars.

"It's impossible, give me a hint," Hyungwon mumbled as he pointed it towards each vehicle.

"A," he said, just a simple letter.

Hyungwon looked at the registration plates, none of them had letters. None of the car models started with an _a_ either.

Hyungwon walked away from row D and headed for A, if it wasn't there he would give up. They reached the A section and Hyungwon stopped in his tracks to think. What kind of model would Changkyun drive?

Ford? Hyundai? Suzuki?

What if he's a SUV person?

Jeep? Chevrolet?

Hyungwon couldn't see that many car models. But he ended up approaching one car that Changkyun kept eying. He clicked the button, hopefully the for the last time.

Bingo.

A clean, glittering silver Mercedes blinked with its lights in respond. So he was a SUV person.

Hyungwon ran over to it and pointed.

"Aha, found it!"

Changkyun chuckled, took the keys Hyungwon handed back and they climbed in. After they both had buckled up, he started the engine and backed up from the little space. He maneuvered the steering wheel around a few times and drove towards the exit.

Hyungwon sat back in his seat, sighed and closed his eyes. His eyelids were dark, surprising since it's well-lit in the garage. A stripe of golden light beamed over his eyes, telling him they left the shadows of the garage. He opened his eyes, but had to lift his hand to shield them from it. He heard a little laugh beside him and turned.

"What?"

"It's sunset, of course the sun is this low," he said, giving Hyungwon a short glance before he turned to look at the road. Then he reached over and flipped down the sun visor.

Hyungwon's hand fell down into his lap. "Oh, yeah."

Changkyun must have heard him being embarrassed, and the little hint of nervousness, since one of his hands left the wheel and covered one of the ravenette's. He gave it a few squeezes before retreating it to signal that he would turn.

It took around fifteen minutes before they pulled up in front of the elder's house. It was weird to be back in that street, he hadn't been there since he went to collect his stuff with Hoseok weeks ago. Hyungwon could only hope his parents were abroad or not close to the windows when he left the car.

He didn't bother to turn, more dare, and just followed the other. Changkyun unlocked the door and shoved it open for Hyungwon to enter.

"Want anything?" he asked when they had made their way to the living room.

"No thank you," he kindly answered, dumped down on his couch.

Changkyun sat down next to him, but not too close, even if they were in the hall just thirty minutes before. His arm rested against the couch's back and he turned towards him.

"How are doing? I mean…with the pregnancy?" he softly asked.

"I'm okay, it's calmer now," he laid his hand on his stomach, perfectly fitting the bump. "I hope this fella is too."

"Hope? You haven't checked?" Changkyun's brows knit together.

"No I-," Hyungwon thought over it, a tiny voice in his head said he shouldn't tell him about his fear of doctors, not now, so he obeyed. The other opened his mouth to say something about it, but Hyungwon was fast to speak up. "I have had too much to think about."

It seemed like that wasn't a good idea, his brows knit stronger together and he leaned closer.

Changkyun didn't say anything, just looked Hyungwon in the eyes. His brows slowly slid back to their normal position, relaxed and neutral. The younger inhaled, leaned back and started to talk about what he had gone through. Everything from when he figured out he had slept with someone, to when he found out he was pregnant. From when the Operation Baby Father started to when his father hit him. From when he found out who the father was to now.

Changkyun listened patiently to what he said, commented now and then or mumbling something Hyungwon couldn't hear. He could only make out a ' _that son of a bitch'_ when he had talked about his father.

"When you broke down in my office, it was because you thought I would hurt you," Changkyun's eyes were glued to the floor, fingers resting against his chin. He looked up fast, saw Hyungwon nod, and moved closer. When he didn't seem to move away, he wrapped his arms around him. "I'm sorry. For everything, you have been through a lot of shit, because of me."

"It's okay, I- we're all young and reckless once, right?" he joked, but none of them laughed. "I have Hoseok."

Hyungwon rested his head against Changkyun's chest. He tapped the pads of his fingers against his thigh in an attempt of calming himself.

"And now me," he whispered, resting his cheek on his head.

Hyungwon took Changkyun's hand and moved it to lay on his stomach. He started drawing circles with his thumb from over the fabric of his sweater. Hyungwon let out a low giggle as it lightly tickled.

They sat like that for a while, both ended up with closing their eyes for just one second, and then both drifted off to dreamland. Hyungwon curled up in the other's embrace while Changkyun held loose around his waist.

 

 


	11. Thirty-Two Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the scene/chapter that is the chapter I'm so eager to show you. It's this chapter, one more and then that one. I'm so excited and ssjsjsjsjs I'm dying a little.   
> More fluff is thrown at you because fluff is needed all the time.

 

Hyungwon woke up by Changkyun's neighbors yelling, car doors slammed shut and children cried from their strict parents' voices. Hyungwon turned around, gripped the duvet and covered his head. He sighed, sank into the pillow when a loud scream sounded. He grunted, turned around once again. This time he folded the pillow over his head to block out the sounds.

It worked.

 

 

Hyungwon woke up again later, this time the sun's rays peaked through the little open space of the curtains. He rolled over to find the side next to him empty.

He closed his eyes, stretching his still resting muscles. A yawn sneaked up as he stretched. He curled back together and looked at the digital clock on Changkyun's side.

10AM

Still pretty early for him to be awake, but if his body decided it was enough(or the sun), then it was enough. Hyungwon bounced over the bed and off the edge, jumping to stand on his feet and headed for the door. He wore one of Changkyun's oversized T-shirts, the sleeves reached to his elbows and the end of it could reach his knees. It didn't exactly do it now, since his belly wanted some of it itself.

A wonderful smell reached his nose the second he stepped out of the bedroom. He knew exactly where to go to find the source.

Leaned over the stove, was Changkyun deeply concentrated as he shook the skillet. He looked up to the movements in the corner of his eye, smiling to Hyungwon before turning back to flip whatever was in the pan.

"Good morning," the grey haired said, reached for a bowl and poured the mixture into the pan.

"It smells good," Hyungwon's groggy voice sounded, he rubbed his eyes as he waddled over to him to see what he made.

Pancakes!

Yes!!

"It's the only thing I can make from scratch to be honest. Plus, the only thing I a _lways_ have the ingredients to make."

Hyungwon giggled and leaned on the bench.

"Better than me, I can't cook at all."

"Mr. Rich kid never needed to cook at home I guess," he smiled, added a pancake to the stack on a plate.

"No, the maids did that, I just slept, or ran because I was late."

Changkyun scoffed. "You spoiled kid, don't expect to raise our child like that."  
Hyungwon stared at the batter turning into a golden color. He said _our_. Theirs, his and Hyungwon's, Changkyun and his. Yes, yes that's nice.

Hyungwon smiled. "Well you're a rich kid too."

"But not spoiled," he added, booped Hyungwon's nose, leaving pancake batter on the tip.

Hyungwon leaned back, pout on his lips.

"Either way, pancakes are everything," Hyungwon giggled. He felt something tickle in his stomach and smiled. "And I think this fella agrees."

"I think he or she is getting a bit restless," the other argued, finger threatening to boop his nose again.

It wasn't the first time the baby had kicked, the first time scared Hyungwon, not of concern, but of actual shock. He was minding his own business reading a book, curled up in a chair Changkyun had casually in front of one window viewing the backyard. He was deep into the plot when he felt the sudden action from his abdomen, his whole body jolted and a startled shriek sounded from him.

Even though his heart was racing like a race horse's, he was able to calm down and run(waddle) to Changkyun with the news. He had cupped his stomach and smiled so wide. It was a really happy moment for them.

Hyungwon dried the batter off with the back of his hand before he went on a little hunt after plates, he found them in a drawer. A fucking drawer.

Well, apparently Changkyun stores a lot in the drawers, glasses, cups, coffee, tea. Maybe normal for some people. But the cutlery set, that would have a home sweet home in one of the drawers, were in a card box in the closet above the stove.

Hyungwon was about to leave right there and then.

He confronted Changkyun being the _messiest person he had ever met._ The elder laughed, said that he was more than welcome to tidy it as he wanted. But Hyungwon said straight up _no_ , he knew he used it as an excuse to have him clean up his mess. He has got no time for that.

"I'm joking, I'm joking, I'll take it when I have time," Changkyun smiled, took the plate with pancakes and brought them over to the table Hyungwon had set.

They sat down on each side, both burning their fingertips as they dragged one pancake from the tower to their plate.

"Any plans for tomorrow?" Changkyun asked, munching on a little piece.

Hyungwon thought about it, before shaking his head. No, no plans for today. "How come?"

"I thought…" he chewed on a new piece, silently finding his words. "That we could go to a check up. To be reassured everything's okay," he continued.

Hyungwon's gaze dropped to the table. He didn't want to go to a check up, the doctors scared him by just thinking of them. He hoped it was okay to stay at home, that the baby would be fine anyway. Yet he still wanted to know for sure.

Hyungwon knew himself too good to know that he wouldn't be as brave when he would be at the doctor's. Just the receptionist would make him panic, and then what? More doctors, and then hospital, more panic and nowhere to go.

Yes, this has happened before.

"I don't need that, I'm good, fine…"

Changkyun didn't answer, but when Hyungwon looked up he could see concern in his eyes. He had laid down his fork, leaned over the table and cocked his head a little.

"What's up Wonnie?"

Oh yes, _Wonnie_. Changkyun had figured out the nickname everyone in kindergarten called him. They stopped, even Hoseok did, as soon as they started in elementary school. Mostly because Hyungwon had claimed he was a big boy, big boys do not have cute names. But now that it was back, he felt like this big boy, were just bullshit. Well, yes he isn't the strongest of the big boys, but he could still bear the title of big boy, while wearing the cute nickname.

It made him feel tiny, especially in this scenario, where Changkyun's voice is soft and worried, while his hand slowly slipped over his.

"Doctors scare me, I-…when, and-," he stuttered, sighing as he sank back into his seat. "They scare me," he whispered.

"Why? Have they ever done something to you?"

No, they have never. Or they have, but not to him. But to Minhyuk. The boy had been gone from kindergarten for a week, and when he came back, he had his arm wrapped in bandages. The doctor didn't do that, but the stories Minhyuk had told, made him fear them.

 _'They stabbed my arm so hard with a needle', 'I could see my blood, and they took it!'_. Despite his words, the language he chose to tell how mean they were, he smiled. Laughed and joked too. But Hyungwon, he was terrified, from that day he swore to never let a doctor touch him, and he managed to.

Thank god, his parents really didn't care. That one day he started screaming, crying and threw things at the doctor, his parents thought it was better to not bring him there ever again.

"No, not to me."

"Then why do you fear them?"

Hyungwon didn't reply, shifted a little and lifted his leg to lean on it.

"I'll be there with you," Changkyun continued, chair screeching as he shoved away from the table.

Arms slid around him, slightly tucking him closer. He didn't say anything else, left his words unspoken, but for Hyungwon to receive.

 

 

Hyungwon had gone to bed earlier that day, Changkyun was stuck with work and stayed in the living room. Hyungwon thought of it, the check up. Changkyun is right, it's for the best and to know if both him and the baby is okay.

But then again, it's the fear. He had no idea if the presence of the older was enough to make him feel safe, they haven't known each other for that long. He didn't feel safe enough with Hoseok, nor Minhyuk, and they've been friends ever since the first sunray laid upon this Earth. Basically from the first day of day care.

The bed shifted behind him, a frame pressed up to his back and an arm draped over his waist. Changkyun must have thought he was asleep, because when Hyungwon turned and laid his hand on his upper arm, he slightly flinched.

"I thought you would have been far gone a while ago," he chuckled, voice tired and hoarse. "You tend to be when I go to bed."

Hyungwon hummed, nuzzled his head closer to the other's neck.

"Will you join me? To the doctor's?"

Changkyun didn't expect that question, he had already told him that he didn't want to push him, that he respected his fear. He took a few seconds in silence.

"Of course, if it makes you feel safe, I'll be by your side."

The younger nodded, tried to move closer, but his stomach bumped into the other male, making it impossible. The elder let out a breathy laugh, fumbled around before they found a position they could easily cuddle in.

 

 

How Changkyun managed to get an appointment the following day was a shock to Hyungwon. Usually he would be added to a list, wait a few days or a week, but Changkyun had some tricks up his sleeve apparently. By all possibilities he might know someone, rich-kid connection(or privilege), who could cheat the system a little.

They were in his car, early afternoon, sliding through the city. Hyungwon was already nervous, he kept fiddling with the fringes of his ripped pants. It was hot outside, the upcoming summer giving early hints of how hot it would be in the end. Hyungwon still wore a hoodie, a big one, so his belly would be less visible.

When they had parked the car, he was fast to grab Changkyun's arm, they walked close until they got in, Hyungwon then hid behind him as he spoke to the man behind a window. They were asked to wait, and then sat down in the little room.

Each time a doctor left one room and passed them, Hyungwon would close his eyes. Mostly to avoid his fear, but also because it was a habit he had grown close to. Sometimes when he saw people in white at school or in town, he'd close his eyes too.

"Chae Hyungwon," it sounded, Hyungwon stiffened, but let himself be moved away by Changkyun.

His hand rested on his lower back all the way to the doctor's office. He sat down on the bench, Changkyun still by his side.

"So, if I have understood this correctly, this is your first check up, right? How are you doing?" the woman asked.

"I'm okay," he mumbled in answer, voice too weak to even scream if he wanted.

She nodded, she turned to talk to Changkyun, asked a few questions he could answer before typing something into a journal. Then she moved over to them, dragging a chair to sit on the other side of the bed.

"I'll take an ultrasound, that way we can figure out how the baby's doing," her voice was soft, cheery as she explained.

Hyungwon was asked to lean back, he hesitated, but when Changkyun's fingers intertwined with his, he took the courage to do as told. He slid his sweater up without as much hesitation when she requested him to do it. She smeared a gel over a little area, it was cold and goosebumps tickled his skin already.

The doctor placed an object on top of the gel, a machine in front of her showing a bunch of lines. The lines formed a picture, that moved when the doctor moved the object.

"There it is," she said, pointed at the screen where a little(blobb)baby laid. It wasn't big, but he could see it was a baby.

Hyungwon's eyes widened, he had imagined how the baby would be so many times, but now that he saw it himself, he could feel something warm his insides. He smiled. His child would be so gorgeous, no other mommies could compete, don't even try.

Hyungwon turned to Changkyun, his eyes focused on him, a weak smile over his lips.

"Want to know the gender?"

They hadn't talked about that, but both of them answered the same as they turned to her.

"No thank you," they replied.

She took a blood test at the end, said the results would be in their mailbox during the week. Then she gave them both advice, what to do when that happened, and how to prevent this from happening. It all went in one ear, and out the other for Hyungwon after a whole load of sentences were fired at them.

Hopefully Changkyun understood and listened to what she said.

"So, you seem to be really far into the process, around thirty weeks. Both you and the baby are doing well. Good luck, and don't hesitate to give us a call! Congratulations!" she smiled, and gave them a short wave when they left.

Back in the car Hyungwon felt proud, his hands laid on top of his stomach, smile wide.

"I'm proud of you," Changkyun said, peaked over at the younger.

Hyungwon blushed, giggled and hid in the giant sweater paws.

 

 

 


	12. Thirty-Seven Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did y'all see Wonho's post and Minhyuk's on Twitter??? Of Wonho doing push ups and Shownu swimming?  
> ᵈᵃᵈᵈᶦᵉˢ  
> :3

"For real? No one has managed to get you into a place related to your health since you were…" Minhyuk said padding around in Hoseok's apartment, he trailed off and looked at the elder for help.

"Since before elementary school."

"And then this dude, whom you've had a crush on for years but barely know, joins you and you're suddenly not scared anymore?"

Hyungwon was taken aback by Minhyuk's slightly raised voice, he must have thought of when he tried to bring him to the hospital, but Jooheon had turned long before arriving because of Hyungwon's panic.

"I don't know, I felt safe…" Hyungwon mumbled. "But it's not like he cured me or something. They still scare me."

"I'm happy he makes you feel safe, but don't you think all this is, I don't know, suspicious maybe? He's more than okay with you stumbling into his office, saying you're pregnant and he's the father?" Hoseok had been quietly sitting on a tuffet while sipping on his soda regularly. He glanced over, nibbling at the can and received an agreeing hum from the redhead.

"Why is that a problem? He didn't contact me for a while after Jooheon carried me into his office and called you," Hyungwon said, hands clutching into fists, he was annoyed that his friends suddenly lost all the support they have had. Although this was a part of the support.

"Because he was busy with work! He couldn't have contacted you if he wanted to!" Minhyuk explained, arms thrown in the air as he sighed.

Hyungwon decided to keep shut, he didn't want to lose himself and suddenly snap. He didn't want to make a fight, didn't want to upset any of them, hearing angry and annoyed sighs as they would collect their stuff and leave.

His gaze fell to the floor, Hoseok rose up to put his soda can back on the table. He sank down next to him and wrapped the younger in a trapping embrace.

"I'm sorry, baby, we're just worried, you know," he rested his cheek on the top of his head.

A sigh was heard from Minhyuk, once again, and then he joined in on the hug, leaning against Hyungwon with his whole bodyweight, but carefully not to add pressure on his stomach. "I know Changkyun is a good guy, I just don't want you to be hurt if he decides to be the little shit he is sometimes."

Hyungwon smiled. Changkyun, a little shit?

 

 

Hyungwon was just about to crawl under the cover as his phone _bzz_ -ed next to him. He looked around to see if his two friends were still asleep, which they were.

Good, it didn't wake them.

He picked up his phone, happy to see a message from Changkyun.

_Kyun    1.32AM_

_Hi, i hope youre having a great time with your friends, sleep well!_

_Wonnie    1.34AM_

_Yeah its nice, the others are asleep tho not funny :/_

_Kyun    1.35AM_

_You should be sleeping too_

_But since youre not_

_I thought of smt_

_We met months ago, and we haven’t actually got a chance to get to know each other yet_

_So would princess Wonnie be interested in going out on a datie with me?_

Hyungwon chuckled. The fact that the elder sent everything in multiple messages, to keep Hyungwon hanging in curiosity a few seconds, probably. But also used _datie_ instead of _date_ , that kid.

_Wonnie    1.43AM_

_Yeah I wanna_

_Kyun    1.44AM_

_Ill pick you up at seven_

_Wonnie    1.47AM_

_Changkyun, we live together_

A pillow suddenly flew across the room and knocked his phone out of his hands.

"Yo, text ya man t'morro' 'm trynna sl-," Minyuk groaned half awake, sentence cut off by a yawn.

"Sorry," Hyungwon just mumbled. He made sure Minhyuk was asleep again before he took up his phone to read the message that popped up while his phone had a takeoff.

_Kyun    1.49AM_

_Yeah but you use centuries in the bathroom_

Hyungwon didn't dare to type in anything else, scared of a new flying pillow, than _:o_ to say he was offended. The device was then turned off and placed next to his mattress on the floor.

 

 

 

Hyungwon hummed to a song that played in his head. Shaking his head to the beats and shuffled into his t-shirt. His outfit wasn’t the best for a date, but he was still insecure about the whole 'pregnant visibility', so it had to work.

It knocked on the door before Changkyun's voice sounded faint through the wooden door:  
"You done yet? We gotta leave."

"You said you'd pick me up at seven," Hyungwon answered, carded his fingers through his hair to calm the long locks.

"Yeah, and it is seven."

"No, it's not."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

Hyungwon reached out to check his phone. "No, it's not. It's 6.49PM you bum."

Changkyun then went silent, trying to figure out what to say. He always tried to think of something, never would he ever accept defeat even if he had to.

"Ever heard of being ready long before you are supposed to be?" Changkyun murmured. "So, get out and prove that you _don't use centuries in the bathroom._ "

"I don't even wear my pants."

"I'm okay with that," the elder replied casually.

Hyungwon's cheeks heated up. He stared at himself in the mirror before proceeding with getting dressed.

"I don't think others will be though," he said and walked over to the door.

He stepped out and saw the other in perfectly fitting black suit pants. The white shirt wasn't buttoned all the way up, leaving just a few inches of his collarbones visible. Grey hair was smoothly tipping over to the left, some straws poking out and down onto his forehead.

Well, seems like Hyungwon was the least dressed for the occasion.

"I see why you take so long in the bathroom," Changkyun said, smirk on his lips as Hyungwon just furrowed his brows. "No one is that cute in a regular t-shirt and jeans."

Hyungwon's cheeks heated up again, seems like they're not going to be left alone for the evening.

"You look even better," Hyungwon mumbled shyly.

Changkyun shrug his shoulders, then motioned for Hyungwon to walk ahead. "I tried to look my best, but then you came out looking that good, you're stepping on my pride."

Hyungwon laughed. If someone was stepping on someone's pride here it was Changkyun.

The other followed right behind him all the way to the car, then he split the path and went for the other side of the car. They got into the vehicle, darkness already devouring the previously blue sky.

The radio talked with and for itself on the ride, Hyungwon and Changkyun deep into their own conversation. It was about everything, from what the muscle chart of an ant would look like, to the possibility of sliding on Saturn's rings like in the cartoons.

Changkyun was convinced an ant would look somewhat like Larry the Lobster from Sponge Bob. It could only make sense since the little creature could lift _that_ much more of its own body weight.

Hyungwon on the other hand was convinced cartoons could be theory makers as well. No one could actually say that it's not impossible since they haven't checked for real.

But scientist Changkyun of course had to ruin it with his astronomy knowledge.

"Wonnie, Saturn's rings are made of ice, rocks and dust, the only possible way for you to slide on them would be the fact that you're weightless," Changkyun glanced over at him to catch the expression of annoyance. Then looked back ahead to not miss any parking signs. "Although, it will be dangerous. The objects' sizes variates from _tiny_ to **huge** ," Changkyun's hand left the steering wheel to stay low, and then fly high up to the roof as he explained. His voice mocked him, the light squeaky voice and the deepest of Changkyun's growls.

Hyungwon didn't need a doctor degree to know that those two words were chosen to make it more understandable for the dum dummy non-scientist.

"I get it, you _can't_ slide on them. Go ahead, ruin a young boy's dreams," Hyungwon huffed and crossed his arms, pout on his lips to show how annoyed and sad he was. Although he had to turn around to hide his spreading grin.

"Hold on there's more, and the speed variates from 17 to 75 kilometers per second."

"Yeah, yeah. I get it, danger-, per second?!" Hyungwon turned to him, his brain wasn't even capable of thinking how fast that was.

Changkyun nodded between turning his head in every direction to find an empty square

He found one, went to pay the parking time and they walked towards wherever Changkyun had reserved a table. Hyungwon's arm was hooked with the elders as they walked down the slightly crowded sidewalk.

The elder took a turn and dragged him over to a restaurant, which had those fancy red awnings hanging over the outdoor area, where no one was at this hour. A little, fake looking red carpet rolled from the entrance to the sidewalk. He didn't complain though, just the building itself screamed expensive bitch.

The waiter on the inside checked up Changkyun's name, then asked them kindly to follow him. He showed them a table next to a window on the other side, it was more isolated from the other places. They sat down and the waiter handed them a menu each.

He really had to pick the fanciest place with the expensive dishes that even the less picky would say no to.

He ended up with a dish with a name in Italian, he tried to read it out but had to point at it in the end. Changkyun on the other hand said a Spanish dish like a native. Hyungwon stared at him when the waiter left.

"When you eat with rich people you pick up a few things now and then," he smiled leaned on his hands and towards Hyungwon. "Say, how is school going? You're rarely there, and when you leave for school, do you even meet up for classes?"

Hyungwon blinked, silently looking at him.

"I went to some classes now and then before, but I don't dare anymore."

"So you just skip everything? Have you told your teachers about it?"

"No, I don't know what to say," that was true, Hyungwon had thought of saying he'd be gone, to at least let them know or maybe get help, but when he was about to walk up to the whiteboard after each lesson, he automatically darted for the door.

"Isn't that bad for your education? With all that absence?" Changkyun leaned back, brows knit together as he slightly tipped his head to the right.

"Probably, but I can't walk around with hoodies and sweaters forever, someone would notice I'm pregnant and I don't know what to do if that would happen," Hyungwon fiddled with the napkin. "Plus, somewhere during this _shit_ I wouldn't be able to go somewhere.

That one day Hyungwon figured out hoodies wouldn't help with covering up he went through a long panic attack. He lost confidence in being spotted outside and therefore skipped classes as often as he could.

Changkyun opened his mouth to say something, but the waiter came up to their table with their food, smile plastered on his face and hoped the males liked the food.

When he left Hyungwon was fast to act like the school talk didn't happen. He didn't quite know why he didn't want to talk about it, it was Changkyun, the one he felt the safest with now, but he didn't want to talk about it anymore. This evening was for them to get to know each other better and have fun, not talk about how the pregnancy ruined his life. More or less, can't assume something too big yet.

First they started eating without saying more. Then Changkyun looked up only to look at him. When Hyungwon realized his eyes widened a little.

"Want to know something that I experienced while I studied science?" he asked, poked his food with the fork.

Hyungwon nodded.

"There was this one freshman I remember from first day after the summer, he always watched me like a hawk. He seemed to never pay attention to his friends, just to me. When we had this sports day, he was on my team, and again he was more focused on me. He was next up to run the obstacle race, he tripped because he didn't realize his shoelaces were untied."

Hold on.

Why is it so clear to Hyungwon what he's talking about?

Wait a damn minute.

Because, that guy was _Hyungwon_.

"You fuck," Hyungwon cursed, as quiet as possible to not let other couples hear. "That was me, and it is _not_ funny," Hyungwon felt his ears turn read at the memory of that. He wanted to forget it, and he had too if it wasn't for him.

"It was funny, but it was cuter that you had such a hard crush on me," he chuckled.

"You knew about my crush on you? Was it that obvious?" when Hyungwon thinks back to it, it really was.

"Oh, baby, baby, baby," he chuckled, "it was indeed. Jooheon knew about it too, he was actually the one who told me about it," Changkyun grinned at the view of Hyungwon's face.

"Ah, shit," he sighed, back then he thought it was impossible to spot his crush on him, but it was just a thought. He had had a crush on him from before High School, but there is no need to mention that when the other is far up on his pride throne already.

They finished their meals, none of the chitchat was about getting to know each other. They just came up with random memories and told each other about it. Somewhere at the very first story they started laughing so loud that the elderly couple next to them asked to move table. Then another couple who ate their dinner like someone was about to steal it from their plates, and then left like the wind.

They had occupied the table for about two hours when Changkyun remembered the parking would run out. The guests, who had tolerated their laughing and patiently remained, could have hid the relief better when they left.

The air outside was cooler, a shiver ran up Hyungwon's spine as they walked down the now empty sidewalk. It was empty, except for them, until three teens appeared under a streetlight. Hyungwon recognized one of them at the same time as her.

"Oh, hey!" the girl from his class cheered and walked faster to meet him.

"Hi," Hyungwon smiled.

"I haven't seen you in a while, are you okay?"

Great, more school talk.

Hyungwon shuffled a bit behind Changkyun to hide. Smiling uncomfortably when he felt like he just made everything worse. Changkyun chuckled, when his belly bumped into his lower back and butt. He reached back and grabbed his hands reassuringly in his.

"I am, I've had a rough time lately, that’s all."

She nodded, giving him a weird, look, then turned to Changkyun.

"Don't influence him to drop out though," she pointed her finger up to warn him. "I'll sue you."

"I won't, I won't," Changkyun's hands flew up in a surrendering manner. "I'm Changkyun, by the way," he introduced, even if the whole school already knew his name.

"Hyomin," she said, smile equally as polite as the other's.

Oh, so that's her name.

Even if they were in the same class, for almost two years, he never caught her name.

"I have to go," she said, seeing that her friends were almost out of sight, they didn't wait for her, poor girl. "I'm happy to hear you're okay, Hyungwon. I'll see you later, hopefully," she smiled, patted his shoulder and ran after her friends.

"You know her?" Changkyun asked when they were both far enough away to not hear.

"We're in the same class."

Changkyun let out a whispering _a_ , unlocked the car and they climbed in.

"Bedtime next," he smiled, Hyungwon already closing his eyes to sleep the short fifteen minutes ride back home.

 

 

 

 


	13. Fourty-One weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember I said it's 'boutta go down?
> 
>  
> 
> weeeeell
> 
> :)
> 
> (also I wrote the birth scene sooooo..... ;3)

The doctor at the checkup weeks ago, had told them about a possible day Hyungwon would go into labor, but he didn't. Instead he went into a period of stressing, because he was scared. He first thought something was wrong with him, or the baby. Changkyun and Minhyuk had reassured him that it was normal.

Minhyuk had turned into a pregnancy expert as he was pregnant too. He and Jooheon finally succeeded and they were already so excited. Minhyuk was on his twentieth week already, he was growing so fast and his stomach could beat the size Hyungwon had at week twenty within a few more weeks. Jooheon's theory was they would receive twins, but Minhyuk just said he was getting the built and big body from his daddy. Yes, they knew the gender already, and were already writing down name suggestions, just as messy and overloaded like notes in classes.

The couple had waited with telling them, Hyungwon recognized a lot of the different changes in Minhyuk's behavior. That he went from happy and energic to complaining and grumpy, excused himself to pee a lot, and he always wore Jooheon's big clothes. Both Hyungwon and Hoseok were shocked to not be the first to know about the pregnancy, but were also the first to fangirl. Hyunwoo and Changkyn congratulated them, while the two other males were all over Minhyuk, three voices squeaking in excitement together.

Hoseok ended up being jealous, asked Hyunwoo for babies too, but the other groaned or sighed each time, saying they would never have time for it. But everyone knew Hyunwoo would give in to the complaining one day, he wanted to have children with Hoseok too, it was obvious, plus they had talked about it. *wink*

Ever since the set week sneaked up, had Changkyun offered to stay home from work everyday to be there when _code baby_ would happen, and help with the stressing. But Hyungwon said he would be fine and sent him off to work each morning.

Hyungwon didn't do much else than walking around in the house, easy chores whenever he felt strong enough. He had finished three books and was waiting for a new order of books to be delivered. Sometimes he took a pen and tried to doodle the easiest drawings he could find on the Internet. But it was not as easy as they wanted him to believe.

His pumpkin looked like a deflated ball with a face screaming for help. The cactus looked like something rated 18, it was crumbled into a ball as soon as he realized. The puppy looked like a cake with melted frosting, and don't even start on the kitten drawing.

Now and then he dressed up in Changkyun's clothes, and his that still fitted, and had a fashion show for himself in their bedroom. But when he had tried every combination, and was tired of all the pants being too tight, he stopped and laid down on the couch instead.

He zapped through TV channels, almost every channel sent boring American series, news almost everywhere, or the typical romance kdramas. The music channels played shit, songs were repeated four times during an hour and he was pretty tired of them.

Hyungwon was too exhausted for showers, but baths were boring. He would usually read, but then again, he ran out of books. He could just stare up at the ceiling, but that would be fun only for a few seconds.

He felt like dying of boredom when nothing happened. Couldn't just anything happen, _anything_ , please.

Later he regretted saying that out loud.

Around three hours after he woke up one day, he felt aching pain in his stomach. He had to sit down on the floor on his way to the bathroom, crumbled into a little ball and massaged his stomach, in hope that it would remove some of the pain.

The pain did calm dwon, and Hyungwon was able to stand up and continue to the bathroom. He made it right in time back to the couch when more pain came.

Barely a minute later an even more intense wave of pain hit him, it spread over to his lower back, making it hard for him to lay down. Hyungwon was so nauseous, and it was only getting worse when his head decided to join the waves of pain.

He closed his eyes, tried to fall asleep or at least calm everything. But his body didn't cooperate.

Instead he just felt fear creeping up his spine, making it impossible for him to not do something. He tossed and turned on the couch, in hope of figuring out what to do or the pain would leave him. But it was for no gain as the pain came back, possibly triggered by the sudden movements, shocking his whole body and locking him in a position that was uncomfortable for every part of his torso.

It calmed again, let Hyungwon get the chance to raise up, grab his phone and unlock it. He stared at his lock screen, he knew what to do, but couldn't bring his fingers to do so. The words he would say spun around in his head, made it hard for his eyes to read the words and know what to say. Hyungwon couldn't remember the code word.

Hyungwon then froze, eyes widening and hands shaking. The insides of his pants suddenly felt moist, wet fabric rubbing uncomfortable against each other, being sure to leave red irritated spots.

"Fuck, no, not now," he mumbled hurriedly, then he finally got his fingers to dial in Changkyun's number.

With trembling hands he brought the device up to his ear. Each peep leaving him in silence. Each peep making him more anxious for fading away so quickly. And then it was the voice of a robotic recorded message telling he couldn't reach the person he tried to call at the moment that made him angry.

Fast he opened messages to write a message so the other could see as fast as possible.

 _Its coming, the baby_.

Hyungwon knew damn well the message wasn't typo free. Fingers sliding over the screen and accidentally pressing or missing buttons as he tried to make it as fast as possible. It probably said: _Its c9min, tje bsby_ , but he couldn't worry about that. Changkyun would understand anyway.

Hyungwon slid off the couch, crawled to the bathroom, taking short pauses each time pain washed over him. He managed to reach the bedroom, but not any farther than leaning against the bed, tiredly watching the door.

It felt like an eternity passed before the ravenette heard a car pull up, keys clinking and a door being flung open. Footsteps were heard faintly running in the distance as he tried to look for the younger. Then they sounded louder and louder and Changkyun peaked through the door and dropped to his knees next to him. He asked questions, but Hyungwon didn't have energy to answer.

The elder picked him up smoothly, carefully laying him on his back on the bed before disappearing out of the room. He first came with a plastic tub, cloth floating in it which he placed next to the bed. He twisted the fabric to get rid of the excess water and laid it on his forehead. Then he ran out once again and returned with towels.

Hyungwon looked at him, groaned when his aching body wanted to do as it pleased.

Changkyun helped him remove his pants and underwear and laid a blanket under his hips.

"It's okay, Wonnie, I'm here," he whispered, hand immediately connecting with his and fingers curling together. "Now breathe, and push, breathe and push."

Slowly Hyungwon inhaled, shakily letting it out before he tried to push. It seemed easy, to just push and breathe. He had imagined it as easy. But as soon as the pressure increased and he felt his lower parts nearly rip, he couldn't help but let out painful groans.

His hand tightened around Changkyun's, eyes shut closed and muscles tensing up. He pressed, not feeling anything different. He stopped, panting intensely and whining. It hurt so much that he wanted to stop, wanted to find another solution, but it really doesn’t work like that, does it?

"Wonnie, breathe," Changkyun calmly said, the free hand flew up to caress his cheek.

They inhaled together, teary eyes locked with concerning ones. He breathed out, slowly building up a calm rhythm again.

Each time he pushed everything got worse. The pain increased with so much force for each time he pushed, it almost made it impossible to breathe without having to bear with pain. He squeezed Changkyun's hand so hard the blood circulation had probably stopped, but he didn't have anything else, and it helped a little to hold his hand.

The tears that had formed in Hyungwon's eyes slowly tipped over his bottom eyelids, sliding down the sides of his face and leaving a dry path behind. He wanted to dry it away, as it leaved an itching feeling, but he really couldn't move his arms, only focused on pushing, and squeezing the elder's hand.

He whimpered and groaned, threw his head from side to side and gasped for air. He grunted and the feeling of something sliding out made him shiver for each time it moved more than slightly.

Hyungwon let out a loud scream, whining and repeatedly calling after Changkyun.

"It hurts, it hurts, it hurts," he cried, his other hand fisted into the bedsheets. The raven-haired bit down on his lip to make his brain more occupied on the painful lip than body. He was tired, he had laid there pushing and breathing for hours. The light outside were already getting darker.

His hand left the older's to press into his eyes. His breath hitched and then suddenly everything stopped.

The pain was only left with an aching feeling, he felt sore and exhausted. His body refused to move, he could only lay on the bed with his eyes still covered, only able to think about the darkness in front of his eyes. His ears were left with a high-pitched beeping running through his head, his head in a light levitating feeling.

Hyungwon listened to his now calming breath, heard crying and screaming faintly behind all the other noises. He tried to move, push his hands away from his face to dump down next to him. He had enough energy to open his eyes a few seconds later.

Right next to him stood Changkyun, arms formed into a little cradle as a messy dot of a towel laid in it. The screaming and crying came from the bundle.

The gray-haired reached down, placed the bundle on his chest, helping him support the baby with his arms. The baby calmed, only letting out whines and whimpers to sound like its mother as it nuzzled into the towel to get closer.

Hyungwon didn't know what to feel, his face was blank, lips parted as he looked at the little creature in his arms. Soft tiny lips, a nose barely sticking out, nostrils moving to match the rhythm of inhales and exhales. The eyes were shut, eyelashes dancing down on the round cheeks. A few dark hair straws covered a bit of its forehead.

He could slightly see his own features, and Changkyun's too. Blending so perfectly together to make their child's face.

Hyungwon's hand moved to slightly brush its round cheek with his thumb.

He just realized the color of the towel, to be sure his thoughts were correct he glanced over at the chair where Changkyun had earlier let go of everything. A blue one hang over its back, while the baby was wrapped in a pink one.

It's a girl.

Clever.

Hyungwon smiled, glanced up to look at Changkyun.

The smile faded as he met a stone-cold expression. His eyes observed the younger, but no emotion was shown. Hyungwon moved to sit up properly, reached out for Changkyun's hand only to see him take a step back.

"Hyungwon," he started, voice as emotionless as his eyes.

Hyungwon waited, Changkyun looked at him and the baby. Silence creeped up on them and the younger didn't know what to do. His hand retreated to secure the baby, he looked down, was something wrong with her? She wasn't sick right?

Hyungwon hated the image of his arms being empty, he did not want to lose her, he just got her, she can't leave them now.

"I don't want responsibility," the words shocked Hyungwon, he turned so fast he could hear joints cracking in his neck. Everything was perfect just over a few hours ago. "I don't want to be associated as her father."

His words were short and stern. Hyungwon slowly turned his head to look back at the baby. She was peacefully unbothered as she relaxed in Hyungwon's arms. Changkyun's words sounded again, and again, and again. Hyungwon's heart started to ache so painfully all the previous pain were just a little pinch in comparison.

When he turned back to look at Changkyun, he was already gone. He must have slipped out of the room so silently, leaving Hyungwon alone with their- the baby. It was completely silent, all sounds the house would make, that was usually drowned by all other sounds, were now whistling and whispering around him.

Then the exterior door shut so loudly he could hear it as if it was the bedroom door right next to him. His shoulders drew up high under his ears. The sudden loud sound made the little girl scrunch her nose.

It was then the first tears started to roll down, he laid the sleeping girl next to him, grabbed his underwear and slipped into it after a few tries. He rose up from the bed and walked out. Tears continued to stream down his face as he slowly made his way to the exterior door. He had an idea of what was waiting, but still he hoped it was just his stupid head.

Hyungwon hoped Changkyun stood there, that he would come to his senses and they would forget what happened, they'd continue and be the family they had talked about being.

But the hallway was empty.  

The Mercedes' keys that used to hang on a hook on the wall, were gone. The window on the door revealed the vehicle was gone as well, and so was Changkyun.

Hyungwon couldn't help the loud sob that erupted through his throat, he collapsed down onto his knees, crying just like his newborn daughter did a few minutes ago.


	14. After Birth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School started and guess who already made a weird sound loud during class.  
> Moi  
> :)

Hyungwon was left terrified that night. He and the baby were alone in Changkyun's house, the other had left them, and he had no idea where he went. He tried to call him, but soon figured out he had left his phone at home when the ringing melody sounded from the kitchen. That’s when Hyungwon found a note, a ripped-out page of a notebook, with just one simple word hurriedly written down:

 _Leave_.

Hyungwon showed up at Minhyuk and Jooheon's house in the middle of the night. It took a long time to get there, he was exhausted, couldn't walk fast nor long before he needed to take a break. Minhyuk lived twenty minutes away with car, which could easily take an hour with normal walking speed. It took more than an hour, almost two, before he finally saw their house in front of him.

He had knocked so silently on the door, held his daughter close to keep her warm from the cold night air.

A window on the second floor lit up, a minute after a grumpy Minhyuk in a puffy, pink bathrobe opened the door, but his expression changed as soon as he saw Hyungwon.

"Hyungwon? Are you okay?" Minhyuk asked, but Hyungwon couldn't do anything else than crying.

Minhyuk didn't waste any seconds before he pushed him in, into the warmth of their house. Jooheon came down the stairs, slowly making his way over until he saw Hyungwon's condition. Then he sped up and immediately wrapped an arm around him.

"Ch-cha," he choked out, but it only caused more sobs to leave and more tears to roll down. He had woken up the baby, they were crying in tandem, making a loud scene.

Hyungwon tried his best to shush her back to sleep, leaving a mantra of apologies to the couple. Minhyuk didn't quite know what to do, he looked back and forth from Hyungwon to his fiancé, slightly panicking. He said something Hyungwon couldn't repeat, but he heard it, loud and clear.

"You need rest," Minhyuk softly, but shakingly, said. Hyungwon didn't answer, only following the two others into a guestroom.

 

 

 

The next day Hoseok and Hyunwoo were in the living room when Hyungwon woke up. The baby was miraculously still asleep, probably because she woke up all the time during the night and the day before was an exhausting day for the both of them.

Hoseok ran to him held him tight, his hands ran up and down on his back to soothingly help his body to relax. His tensing muscles did, slightly relaxing as the other reassured him he was okay. Then they walked over to sit down where everyone else was seated, but still in the elder's embrace.

"Can you tell us about what happened yesterday?" Minhyuk asked, he was on the opposite side of the table, but it still made Hyungwon relax to know he was there.

"I-," he coughed to make his voice sound less hoarse. "I gave birth, and then…then right after…Changkyun said he didn't want to be connected as her father-," he was abrupted when Minhyuk and Hoseok shouted an angry _what_. He sunk together, a guilty feeling washing over him.

"Why in the world…" Hyunwoo muttered, brows furrowed.

Jooheon looked really shocked, he stared at Hyungwon silently to hear the rest of the story and not the others' comments.

"He left in his car, and left a note saying _'leave_ '," tears rolled down once again, he sobbed into his hands of the awful memory that stabbed him from the inside.

"He did WHAT?!" Minhyuk shouted louder this time, raised up so abruptly from his char that it shot away from the table, wagging on two legs before falling down. Jooheon immediately shifted to reach out to him.

"That motherfucker!" Hoseok hissed, fist clenched as he gritted his teeth. "He's dead."

"After all you went through, and then he does _that_!" Minhyuk wiped his fiancé's hands off him, barged over to the door. He didn't get to touch the doorknob before the younger had caught up to him and wrapped his arms around him. Minhyuk kicked and begged him to let go, but Jooheon held tight even through the hard kicks that collided with his legs. After a little while of letting the other get the angriness and energy out he sat him down, whispering calming words to him.

"Changkyun, really did that?" Jooheon asked when they were back in their seats, voice stern and serious, was this really his friend? Who acted like a complete idiot?

When Hyungwon nodded he mumbled something none of them heard. He was the next one to rise up and head for the door in an angry manner.

"I thought that boy was smarter than that," Hyunwoo muttered still as silent as last time. Then he rose up and went after Jooheon.

The car's engine sounded through the walls, tires crushing the pebbles landing under them and the two males drove off to a destination unknown for the others.

"That man won't see tomorrow," Minhyuk mumbled between gritted teeth.

Although Hyungwon was mad at Changkyun, scared of what he thought and would do now, he didn't want him to be hurt. Especially not by Hyungwon's friend and his own best friend. He didn't think Jooheon would really hurt him, not physically, and Hyunwoo knew very well that violence was never the key. He wouldn't hurt him either. Hopefully.

 

 

 

Days went by and no one heard anything from Changkyun. Jooheon tried to call him more than once a day, he went over to his house, but it turned out he was never home. Not even for a second.

Hyungwon had a hard time the first week, he lost his appetite, only ate when he was forced by the others, he was silent and looked so sad and vulnerable. He was turning into a depressed emo kid as he hid in his borrowed bedroom. The worst part, was all the shit his daughter had to go through because of him and his sadness. The poor child was completely ignored, locked outside of Hyungwon's bedroom. She could cry her lungs out, scream till the house shook, he wouldn't open the door to let her in.

"Hyungwon?" knocking on the door followed, doorknob pressing down, only to fly up again due to the closed door. "Please open up," the voice said, softly trying to reach him.

Hyungwon turned around, away from the door and away from the source. He hated seeing Bora, which was her chosen name, being reminded that _she_ was the reason Changkyun left. She ruined it, she could just…disappear, he wouldn't care, he didn't give a damn. Disappear already!

Hyungwon stopped one day, he had unlocked the door when he heard the first hint of a child voice, seeing his shocked daughter on the floor. Fast he picked her up, apologized and apologized and apologized. She was confused, laid in his arms and eyes amusedly staring at him. But then she clapped, laughter and smile joining, nuzzling closer to Hyungwon.

That's a second chance he won't ever let go for granted.

Hyungwon gave Bora the love and attention she needed. His friends got to know her and got so close that she was okay with being in their arms while Hyungwon was in the shower or just caught up on sleep.

But she was fast to scream when she was tired of Minhyuk's stupid baby talk and Hoseok's boring rocking moves. She wanted to go back to her mother, close to the scent she knew from birth and the heart rhythm she knew from early stages. Hyunwoo didn't really dare to hold her, scared he would be too clumsy and drop her. Jooheon and Bora were close friends in no time. Jooheon told her stories, even if she couldn't understand she had fun while the man went all in with making the stories as real as possible.

Hyungwon was so happy each time he saw them, he had told Minhyuk that their child would be the luckiest. Minhyuk just scoffed which shocked Hyungwon.

"You are a superhero after what you've been through, Bora is the lucky one," a smile spreading so softly over his lips.

 

One evening Hyungwon had went to bed early with Bora. She fell asleep fast, and slept as deep as Hyungwon always did.

Hyungwon laid there to make sure she was okay. He felt safer with letting her sleep in the same bed as him after Jooheon installed a bed fence to avoid her falling off and get hurt. She always made sure to wake Hyungwon in the morning with screaming in his face anyway, and dozens of times during the night. But they could never know when she would stop doing that or roll restlessly around.

While he watched Bora softly moving her limbs, he heard a voice from downstairs. He laid his head down on the mattress and was able to hear Jooheon.

"You are out of your fucking mind! What the fuck were you thinking?!" his voice was loud, he was so angry he even growled into the, assumingly, phone.

"You fucked up! What will you do now? I can't believe you, what made you do that?!" Jooheon either didn't give Changkyun a chance to answer, or he didn't reply. It wasn't too straight forward to guess it was the elder, based on the things Jooheon said.

Hyungwon lifted his head up to make it inaudible for himself again. It may concern him, but it was still wrong to eavesdrop. He hated himself for agreeing to Jooheon's words. He was just so broken.

 

 

Hyungwon stayed in bed until afternoon almost every day. He played with Bora, not that she was able to respond with more than smiles and hiccupping laughter, as well as other gurgling noises. He would tickle her, earn a laughter she couldn't keep in. He played peek-a-boo and she laughed even harder. She held his finger with her small hand, nibbling on it to sign Hyungwon she was hungry.

"Again? You just ate," he smiled, nuzzled their noses together and leaned back.

He lifted her up into his arms and lifted his shirt up enough for her to lean against his chest and directly head for the swollen nub. She sure ate a lot when she first started. Sometimes Hyungwon had to interrupt and she would protest with her strong lungs.

Bora grew really well though, she was healthy. They had been at checkups, Hoseok by his side those times. Hyungwon was still scared of doctors, but he was more okay with it now.

Each night when he didn't feel like sleeping yet, he would pull out his computer, looking for places to stay. He couldn't live with his friends forever, even if they said he was welcome to. The presence of the both of them did make it stressful for the others, even if they didn't admit it.

Jooheon never mentioned anything about Changkyun, he didn't talk about that night he shouted through the phone, it was as if everything between them just died.

Minhyuk said they would be fine, Hyungwon had to ask since he felt bad after all.

"They have had fights before, it takes some time and they're friends again."

How he could be so sure in this situation was questionable, but he knew his fiancé more than him.

Hyungwon was happy with Bora, she was the best that had ever happened, and he would make sure she would be as happy as possible.

That would be his mission!


	15. Three Years Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (please notice this story will continue three years into the future from now on :D)  
> I am now back to school but does that stop me from leaning back into my chair and drinking tea, ruining Changkyun's reputation?  
> *winkwink* *evil laughter*

Changkyun rummaged around in the boxes all over the bedroom floor. He had been searching for the same item for days, it was not in the attic, not in his ' _messy room'_ , so it had to be in his bedroom. He had no idea why he stored it away, but he knew why he never got rid of it.

He sighed when the boxes lead to the same answer: nothing.

He cleaned up, went into the kitchen to pick up his phone. The dating app he had installed, because of a co-worker insisting, had sent him three messages. It wasn't much, but annoying indeed. He really didn't care, only replied _no_ to requests about going out for a date or left them on read. He really did not want to.

Changkyun opened the app to get rid of the notifications. Yes, he could just swipe them away(or delete the app rather), but they would still lay as a stack showing on the icon, which was annoying. The stupid creators of the app could have been better.

Two new requests, and…

_People you may know:_

_Chae Hyungwon_

Changkyun hadn't heard nor seen his name in a while. Not since he…left.

He had tried to contact the younger again, but he was out of reach, new phone number, and both Minhyuk and Hoseok threatened with killing him if he even tried to get close to him again. Changkyun wasn't really scared, but didn't dare to defy their words. Especially when both Hoseok and his boyfriend would actually be capable of squishing his skull with a little pinch.

Changkyun felt so unbelievably bad, he had no idea of what to do at that point. He knew it was all going to be kept in their memory, not able to forget and forgive as easily as it could have been. The worst was that he was never able to tell Hyungwon how sorry he was, he deserved an apology, and an explanation.

He touched on the notification, Hyungwon's profile showing up. It was empty, more or less, an address showing up under his number and email. The poor kid must have skimmed right past the _keep privacy secret_ -box, leaving it unchecked and for others to see his details. But Changkyun was happy about that.

The younger had moved, apparently to an apartment on the other side of the city. His number was indeed changed, nothing Changkyun could recognize.

Changkyun hurriedly got into his car, typed in the address on the GPS and followed its description all the way to the building. Luckily, he didn't have to contact whoever lived in the apartment to be able to go into the building. He still needed to ask someone where apartment 42C were though.

He climbed the flights of stairs that lead to the third floor. Then he looked at every door to find the correct one.

Was it creepy of him to show up three years after everything happened? He hadn't exchanged a word with the younger ever since he left.

Hopefully it was okay.

Probably not because of what he did.

He stopped in front of a door with a copper plate with 42C carved in on it, stared at the door a little before he lifted his left arm to knock. It took only seconds before the door opened. A male, slightly shorter than him, with round glasses and light brown hair looked at him questioningly.

"Hey, uhm- does Chae Hyungwon live here?" Changkyun asked, smiling a little to greet him.

"Why are you here?" the other male shifted his weight over to the leg closest to the door to block it. His arms crossed over his chest and eyes stared deeply at him. It was as if he knew Changkyun and what he did as the aura around him suddenly switched. Like a bull seeing red.

Changkyun acted like he didn't see him change so quickly.

"I'm looking for Chae Hyungwon."

"He's not available, you're not welcomed here," the brunet replied, took a step back and moved to close the door.

"Whoa, hey, wait. I just need to say something to him," Changkyun tried, but the other just tsk-ed.

"Haven't you done enough to him?" was the last he said before closing the door.

So…Hyungwon's got a new friend?

 _Oh, stop it, you won't make it less awkward_ , he thought to himself, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

Either way, it's nice to see that his friends (or boyfriend?) were still so protective, but they made it difficult for him to apologize.

It wouldn't shock Changkyun if Hyungwon got a new boyfriend during the three years. He deserved it though, having someone by his side to help him with taking care of the child. A boyfriend who loved the both of them and could give them the love Changkyun never gave them.

Why did his heart ache this much?

Why does it feel like his heart is choking itself?

 

 

 

 

Hyungwon picked up the toys, blankets and pillows all over the apartment's floor. Bora ran around with her teddy laughing and jumping on the couch.

"What did I say about jumping on the furniture?" Hyungwon asked, tone strict but a weak smile in the corner of his mouth. He carded his hand through the messy bangs of his pink hair to get locks out of his eyes.

"Not okay," she answered simply and jumped down, continuing to run throughout the apartment.

Hyungwon lifted up the boxes with toys and headed for Bora's room right when the doorbell rang.

"Honey, can you take it? I think Kihyun forgot his keys again."

Bora shouted 'okay' and ran over to the door. She rose up on her tippy toes and flicked the lock to open. She smiled wide and was about to shout 'Kihyunnie', but was shocked to see an unfamiliar man there.

The man towered over her, as she was almost four years and not that tall. He squatted down to be on the same level, and smiled to her. "Hello, young lady," his smile was soft, eyes shining towards her. "Is your parent here?"

Bora nodded, lifted the bear to hide half of her face. "You know mommy?" she asked, words mostly muffled into the stuffed bear. If he knew she only had _one_ parent at home, he must be someone who knows her mommy.

"Yes," he smiled, but weaker and less shine in his eyes.

Bora's lips parted into a smile and she turned around, ran into the apartment and yelled for her mother.

"Mommy, guest to you," she cheered and giggled. She climbed up on a chair with her arms spread out to be pulled up onto his hip.

Hyungwon chuckled and walked out of the room, picked her up, just as she had gestured.

"Who is it?" he asked, walked over to the entry to greet his so-called guest.

Bora shrug her shoulders, but pointed when they were close enough to the door to see. "He!"

Hyungwon looked from her to where she pointed, his jaw went slack and he stopped long before the door.

"I see you dyed your hair pink," Changkyun decided to say, cherry blossom to be more specific.

"Yes, Bora chose it," Hyungwon said, his voice trembled a little and he cursed at himself for it. "Bora why don't you go and tidy up the rest of the toys in your room? I'll be right back," Hyungwon turned to her, smiled and kissed her cheek before setting her down. She ran back into the apartment, giggles spreading along her way.

"Her name's Bora?" he asked, Hyungwon found the amused tone annoying, it's not like he came with any suggestions, not that Hyungwon would have picked them either.

"You used my daughter to see me?" weeeell… it was more his fault for letting a child open the door. Or he could shove the fault over to Kihyun, for _not_ being the one on the other side. "Did you perhaps know Kihyun isn't here?"

"I need to talk to you," Changkyun simply answered, avoiding the question of who this Kihyun was.

Hyungwon crossed his arms to look a bit more intimidating or angrier than he was, just to warn Changkyun. But his trembling voice betrayed him and blew his cover. "Why? You have no reason to talk to me."

"I know I fucked up but, I am really sorry," Changkyun seemed to mean it, but Hyungwon didn't want to fall back into his arms like the stupid him did in the past.

Instead he stood there, arms still crossed as he stared at the other. He wouldn't fall this time, he would stand strong and let Changkyun know that he was stronger than ever before.

"I thought I told you _you're not welcome here_ ," a voice sounded and both Hyungwon and Changkyun turned to look down the hall at the approaching man. He squeezed past Changkyun to place the grocery bags on the inside and turned to him.

"Ki, it's okay," Hyungwon said calmly, more relieved that he came.

"No, it's not, he is not allowed to be here," the brunet said while stuffing the bags against the wall so they wouldn't fall over.

"And why so? Have the police claimed I'm criminal?" Changkyun knew from the second he heard himself, that the cockiness in his voice just ruined more for him. Shit.

Kihyun turned, like in horror movies, or animes. Where suddenly they change completely, shaking as they turn around, stare glaring through the soul to whoever dared to speak to them.

"Well, you should be charged for leaving Hyungwon like that. And for trespassing our property," Kihyun's arms crossed.

"It's not trespassing when I am still on the outside of your apartment," Changkyun caught Hyungwon's gaze for a second, but he looked right back to his friend.

"It's really not necessary, Ki," Hyungwon tried, but was waved off to stay shut.

"You have to leave," Kihyun pointed at the door to the staircase. His cold tone and eyes unfriendly.

Changkyun looked at Hyungwon again, this time he hid behind Kihyun as much as possible, even if he was much taller. Changkyun noticed there was no reason in continuing. He let out an inaudible sigh, nodded and apologized, mostly to Hyungwon, and left.

"I can't believe he came back. Why is he even here?" Kihyun huffed, turned to Hyungwon to draw him into a hug.

Yes, why? Why after three years, did he come back to talk? He ended it so abruptly las time. And kept shut for years. What was the point? What did he gain from it?

Whether Changkyun wanted to use him for something or not, Hyungwon was not ready to trust anyone yet. Except Kihyun, and Hoseok, and Minhyuk, oh and Jooheon and Hyunwoo.

Bora came running out, teddy still in hand as she blabbered to Kihyun about the tall, broad-shouldered male asking for her mother. She said she was a brave girl, bragged that she confronted the _meanie_ but left to get her mother as she knew it would be dangerous for little girls.

Kihyun laughed as she spoke, commented and gasped as her story turned into how brutally she would treat the male if he hurt her mom.

"But we do not treat strangers like that," Hyungwon pointed out, finger raised to rock from side to side. "We do not treat anyone like that.""

"To him, it's okay," Kihyun snickered.

"Kihyun! Don't encourage her," Hyungwon slapped the elder's shoulder.

"Whoopsie," he chuckled, got back up to his feet to smile mockingly at Hyungwon.

Hyungwon challenged him to continue with his _bad influence_ , but the brunet just smiled it away as he walked towards the kitchen. The groceries had been waiting long enough on the floor now.

The pink-haired male shook his head, then scooped his daughter up to guide her to the bathroom. She wiggled and laughed, yelling against her mother to stay up just a little longer. Bora was cut off rapidly by her own yawns when Hyungwon fixed her toothbrush. She kept letting her head fall heavily as Hyungwon brushed her teeth.

Changed into her clean fairy PJs, she was leaning against Hyungwon's shoulder. Silently dozing off, tiny hands forming into balls as they rested against his body.

He walked as quietly as possible out, over to Kihyun to let him kiss her goodnight before heading over to her room. He tucked her in, smile lingering on his face and kissed her himself.

Hyungwon got back into the kitchen, saw Kihyun almost completely done with their late dinner.

"How often do I have to tell you that I _can't_ eat spicy food?" Hyungwon complained.

Instead of answering with words, Kihyun just poured another package of chili into the pot.

"You shit!"

They both laughed, but also terrified of the spicy taste coming for them.

 

 


	16. A Month

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you picture a teenage girl sitting in her room, yelling at her computer and randomly shouting swear words in three different languages, trying to listen to Monsta X but the computer just; "nah-nuh-uh I ain't feelin' like it" so it just stops in the middle of someone's verse and she's there like 'imma fucken throw u into the damn pouring RAIN' and the wifi's in the back like "hohoho peek-a-boo, now im gone, hihi PEEKABOOO"
> 
> its me, right now  
> :)
> 
> lmao im sorry im tired

 

Bora's arms were held straight out as she slightly bounced. Hyungwon repeatedly asked her to stay still, barely obeyed for a second, before she continued. Hyungwon tried to pull the zipper up, but it got stuck, captured a rich amount of her sweater and stopped. He was on the verge of swearing, but had to bite his lip to not do it.

He heard light chuckles behind himself. Kihyun got down on his knees next to the pink haired male, arms open to let Bora come to him instead. He got the zipper free, and drew it all the way up.

"There, easy peasy," he smiled, but the smile was more to mock Hyungwon of how much better Kihyun was with kids than him.

After curling Bora's scarf around her neck, stuffed her chubby hands into her gloves and pushed her beanie over the top of her head, Hyungwon could get dressed himself.

Kihyun, who had already covered himself in his autumn collection(which was a decade old already and he refused to change), helped Bora into her boots. Hyungwon slipped into his coat, made sure his gloves were the correct ones this time, and not the cold ones. When they were all covered from head to toe and ready to leave, they said goodbye to the apartment with a little wave before heading for the exterior doors.

They would come back, it was just a cute habit Bora had, to always say goodbye to the houses she visited, or her own home before leaving.

The air outside cooled down their bodies too soon, Bora wasn't affected, she ran around, surely keeping her inbuilt heater going. Hyungwon and Kihyun just walked close, rubbing hands together to hopefully warm up their hands.

The little girl knew the way to the park as if it was her own pocket. She was always so happy and energic, sometimes Hyungwon or Kihyun had to run after her since she was too fast. It was always as humiliating to receive all the weird stares as they would run after the kid yelling out her name and ask her to slow down. Especially when she had much better stamina, and was way faster, than the two males.

They reached the park, heading straight over to the playground to meet up with their friends. Bora shrieked in happiness and ran straight to hug the two young boys. They were just a few months younger than her, which was a relief to Hyungwon. It was easier for them to get along, easier for her to find someone to play with in kindergarten since she knew the toddlers from way before.

The oldest of the boys, Mingyu, looked up to Bora a lot. Ever since their first adventure in Minhyuk and Jooheon's basement. He had feared the basement, since his parents had told him to be careful not to be buried in the loose material, which had slightly traumatized him. (Someone should really tell Minhyuk he's traumatizing people.) When the two kids went downstairs, and Bora promised to protect him, he felt safe. It only lasted a second, before Bora surprised, but happily, yelled, ran into a room and left him alone.

Wooshin was the youngest, always shy, even if he knew Hyungwon, Kihyun and Bora. He hid behind his parents' legs, greeting them with silent _hi_ s and small waves. Although, he built up enough courage to step away at one point. Slipping past all of the adults' radar to join his brother and friend in turning the house upside down, literally.

Oh, yes. Jooheon and Minhyuk got twins. Jooheon was right from the start. They were both as shocked when the doctor told them Minhyuk were carrying twins. Apparently little Wooshin was just as shy in the womb, as now in the big world, or Kihyun's tiny apartment. Hiding behind things that made him appear almost like a detective in action.

"Hey, buddy!" Jooheon cheered, clapped Hyungwon hard on his shoulder.

Minhyuk hugged them both, even if the hundred layers of clothes was a challenge.

The four males had the normal _adult conversation_ , talking about the news, weather, stupid stuff going on in other countries. The meme a co-worker had sent them on email because it was hilarious. That they'd email it over to the others so they could see it too.

But then they shook it off. Everyone in that park knew very well that they didn't give a damn. Well except for the memes and funny video clips thrown into their inboxes. They would always start talking about whatever was interesting for them. And then maybe turn into toddlers, throw dead leaves at each other while calling the others meanies, or big poops. And of course scream.

Their children watched, frowned and walked away. Embarrassed that their parents, and Kihyun, acted like that.

In the end they ended up jumping on spot to stay warm. Minhyuk would hide into Jooheon's frame, receive most of the warmth as the other were emptied of it. He never complained, such a cute and nice guy.

Kihyun did it to Hyungwon now and then too, arms curling around his waist, head leaning against his arm, since he's too short to reach his shoulder. Exchanging warmth to keep them both from freezing.

"Mingyu! Wooshin!" Jooheon roared to reach all the way to wherever in the playground the three kids hid. One by one they stumbled out of a wooden train, running to their father and throwing themselves into his arms. Bora didn't follow, but the boys were fast to talk about a new friend, which Hyungwon understood was with Bora in the train.

"We'll see you later," Minhyuk smiled, taking one of his sons to make it easier for Jooheon. Then they left the park, leaving Kihyun and Hyungwon to wait for Bora to get tired and cold. Which could take millennials.

She did leave the train, but only to run around with her new friend, who turned out to be a puppy. Her giggles were heard all over, barks followed. Hyungwon smiled for himself as he watched her. She had always loved animals, especially her own teddies, but each time they went out she stopped to pet each and every animal.

Hyungwon was slightly startled by a voice reaching his ear, weight landing on his shoulder. Kihyun had rose up on his toes to lean his chin on his shoulder. The words left in a whisper, even if no one in a distance that would allow them to hear.

"Changkyun is here," it sounded.

Hyungwon froze, eyes not paying attention to his daughter, just blankly staring ahead.

Where?  
Why?

Right here?

Kihyun's arms tightened, before they slowly slid down and the older moved towards Bora. He got her attention immediately, they waved to the old woman, the owner of the dog, cheering out a happy _thank you_ , before they walked over to Hyungwon again. Kihyun seemed to focus on something behind Hyungwon, probably Changkyun. Bora didn't notice him at first, but when she did, she asked Kihyun who it was.

Kihyun smiled, mumbled something about a meanie from the past. She looked back a head, then back to Kihyun to whisper to him.

After he had answered they walked up to Hyungwon. All three of them turned to head for the apartment. That moment, the exact moment, Hyungwon turned around to look forward, his eyes landed on Changkyun. Eyes locking, not even darting away as they would have. Changkyun wore the plain face he used to now and then, but his eyes, they revealed something that he didn't hide well enough.

Hyungwon couldn't help it, he stared into his eyes, reading the few signs he got through the emotionless features. But then Changkyun turned, opening the door to his, still shining silver, Mercedes. He disappeared into the vehicle, dark windows hiding him from letting Hyungwon see anything else.

 

 

 

Back in the apartment they were all doing their best to get their bodies warmed up. Hyungwon and Kihyun drank cup after cup with tea, switching watching over Bora as she sat in the bathtub. She was accompanied by a wooden toy boat, a cartoon looking figure and some of the animal toys she had from her room.

The wooden boat floated around, sometimes dragged underwater because it repeatedly gained too much weight from the toys. Bora figured out it was funny to let the figure experience panic and therefore sunk the ship once every minute.

The bubbles started to faint out, clear water surrounding the sinking ship.

Hyungwon leaned against the washing machine, hot mug warming his hands and lips sipping the beverage frequently. He looked up when Bora, and the splashing, suddenly went silent.

"You okay there, sweetheart?" he said lowly, placing the cup on the machine to sit down next to the tub.

"Can I ask…something?" Bora fiddled with the boat as she looked into the reflection of herself in front of her.

"Of course," Hyungwon replied, hand reaching out to brush the long straws of her bangs to the side.

"Who is daddy?" she seemed to feel pressured, shoulders high under her ears and eyes still not focusing on anything else than the water.

"Why do you ask?" Hyungwon hadn't prepared for this, he should have, but he never did.

"Mina talks about her dad, and I can't," she whispered. Mina is Bora's best friend in kindergarten. Mina had joined her home sometimes, she was a really sweet girl, and Hyungwon had heard her brag about her dad himself. "I want to meet daddy."

Oh crap.

Yes, should have prepared for this.

Hyungwon inhaled deeply, holding the air in his lungs before releasing it silently. "That may be hard."

"But I really wanna, you don't talk about him…did you fight?" Bora looked up then, eyes slightly glossy and red.

Hyungwon didn't know where the line went. What he could tell, and what had to wait. She was still too young. Bora seemed to really be interested in meeting her father, which wasn't a problem. Or, well yes it is, but it could be easy to let her? If it's a good idea is a good question though.

If it would make her happy, maybe letting her meet Changkyun wouldn't be so bad.

Changkyun had even said sorry, it looked like he changed. Hyungwon felt like he should really hear his apology.

"I will do what I can, if it makes my girl happy," he smiled, brushed his fingers over Bora's cheek.

She weakly smiled. "Thanks."

 

 

Hyungwon couldn't believe himself as he looked at his phone screen. For a reason, Changkyun's number were still in his contacts. Even after the whole changing of phone and phone number. But now that he was face to face with the message…

Why did he say he could do it?

He pressed the send button before he could have the chance to back out. The phone was then thrown into the other side of the room, crashing into the wall and then leaving a thump as it hit the floor. Hyungwon fell back into the forest of pillows. He drew the cover up over his body to lock out sounds (even if he was alone) and light.

He was shocked when the little buzzing from his phone woke him up later. It was thirty minutes since he sent the message, usually he'd sleep until Kihyun would come home. He must have slept light, which he never does.

Sore muscles refused to do as Hyungwon wanted when he rose up, he forced himself through it and sat with his head hanging low. Eyes still shut as the sleep still lingered in the back. He crawled to the end of the bed, reaching out to grab his phone and curled back into the huge section pillows.

_Ki-tinie      1.26 PM_

_I'm meeting Minhyuk for lunch, I will be back to pick up Bora from kindergarten. I also left some food you can warm in the micro_

_< 3_

Hyungwon yawned, tapped on his keyboard and then pressed send to thank the older.

The pink haired fell back, grabbed a pillow and snuggled it close to his chest. Breath slowing down and rhythmically as he was silently heading back to dreamland. The pillow smelled like a combination of Kihyun's shampoo and the fabric softener they used.

They didn't need to share a bed, they could even have had two single beds instead of the huge double bed. Hyungwon didn't need to sleep as close to Kihyun as possible either, but he still did.

As for the room and bed, their apartment wasn't big enough for them all to have separate rooms, and the single beds were more expensive plus took more space in the little room. Kihyun didn't have a problem with it, he was the one to suggest that Hyungwon could sleep in his bed from the start.

Kihyun had the aura of safety whenever Hyungwon needed it. Waking up with nightmares, Kihyun was there. Crying in the kitchen, Kihyun was there. It fell naturally over them that they would share a bed and sleep close to each other.

 

 


	17. Wednesday Afternoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY but if you like Rizzoli and Isles too then LEMME SLIDE INTO YOUR DMS

Hyungwon tapped his feet against the floor. Nervously twinning the loose threads on his ripped pants. It was a stupid idea to wear them, his knees and thigs were cold because of the weather that slowly turned into the coldest time of the autumn. Too bad no one was there to stop him when he picked it up from the floor to rush into the bathroom this morning. He kept looking at the clock, back to his hands and out of the window.

It smelled like coffee, joyful chatting from other tables reached his ears. Hyungwon could hear the order from the customers who came and left in no time. He felt very lonely where he sat, next to the window because he thought it was a good idea. But it was just a bad way of letting anxiety creep up his spine each time he saw a frame walking up to the café.

Everyone was covered with so many layers of clothing it was hard to recognize anyone. So far, he'd seen two parents from Bora's kindergarten and one classmate from middle school. None of them exchanged more than a greet before they slipped out into the cold with their hot beverages in a paper cup.

Hyungwon had been there for fifteen minutes, mostly because he thought it would be relaxing for him to be there a bit early. But now that the clock clearly showed it was getting too late, was he getting slightly stressed. He was sure the cashiers were happy about customers, but he felt the weird looks each time their eyes scanned over him. He rarely touched his coffee just because he was waiting for someone and didn't want it to be completely empty when they would arrive.

Twenty minutes went by. So far the cup was slowly reaching half-full, coffee already so cold it would not be any help with the weather outside. Thank god for the little shop's heaters heating up the room, with the coffee machines by their sides.

Hyungwon sighed, maybe he should just leave. Sitting there was getting quite boring and he had better things to do. If Changkyun didn't show up, then maybe he was still on the trolling page. The older had accepted Hyungwon's offer to grab a coffee, which could just be his jokes to leave him hanging and enter the room of hopes.

It was a living hell to reassure Kihyun he was only doing it for Bora. The brunet had refused to let him even think of letting the little girl meet that scumbag. But when Hyungwon had reassuringly explained that was why he would meet him, to make sure he was actually adulty-enough to behave, he agreed. But that was just pure luck.

Twenty slowly turned to thirty, and then ten minutes more. Hyungwon decided to leave, it ached in his chest to realize Changkyun still didn't care. The apology was a lie, a shitty little lie to cast the spell back over Hyungwon.

He felt pathetic where he walked, stuffed back into his scarf with tears pressing behind his eyes. He didn't know how to explain it to Bora, or to tell Kihyun without having the older completely lost in anger.

Hyungwon sighed loudly this time, looking up to see the sky was getting darker. It started last week, getting darker earlier. Autumn did that, made everything darker faster, and kept it longer for the mornings. But it was cozy. Especially the weekends. Sleeping until Bora woke him up, snuggled up into Kihyun's side, until the both of them were forced out of bed.

Their movie nights.

Oh, their movie nights were amazing.

Each Saturday they sat down, watched one of the cartoon or princess movies Bora liked. They ate candy, drank hot chocolate or even warm milk with honey. And when Bora went to bed, Hyungwon and Kihyun would watch episode after episode of the series they caught interest in.

It was a crime drama, about a female police officer and a female doctor working side by side in Boston. They solved homicide and crimes, and Hyungwon was really inspired by the police officer, she was strong and so engaged in her job. There was a ton of meanings behind the character, he just loved seeing her in action during the scenes. The empathy she showed for victims, calmed them and made them safe in no time. It reminded him of someone dare to him.

Kihyun really liked the starring's brother, he was also a police officer, a lower rank in earlier seasons but then ranked up later on. He didn't have a reason for why it was his favorite character, but that isn't necessary right? No need for the best reason to just like a character.

Hyungwon always looked forward to the weekends. Which now made him even more excited to finally get home and go to sleep later.

"Hyungwon!" a voice reached him, making him turn so fast he almost tripped on his own foot.

A male from the other side farther down the sidewalk waved to him. He lightly jogged past people and over the road to where Hyungwon stood. Hyungwon's heart was hammering against his ribcage as if it was him who ran(but faster and a longer distance). Changkyun stopped in front of him, an apologetic smile on his lips.

"I'm sorry, I was stuck at work for a little longer, and the traffic down here was like a parade of slugs," he panted. "I hope you didn't wait long."

Well, it took forty minutes and hundreds of anxiety seconds to wait…

"It's okay," Hyungwon mumbled, looked down at his feet before making sure Changkyun was actually there, which he was. No illusions, pure reality.

Maybe he didn't throw that spell, maybe he did care, maybe he changed.

"I'm thankful you wanted to see me, I understood you needed to talk to me, and…so do I," Changkyun smiled, but it weakly faded as his memories flashed before his eyes. Hyungwon didn't smile, slowly nodded.

They decided to find a place to sit down, more privately but also warmer. The two males ended up with a new ice cream bar, but only ordered something to drink. The basement was the most private they found, no one was there, except for a parent and her child in the jungle looking play area.

Secured into a little booth with zebras and elephants decorated on the wall, the two males sat down. Hyungwon held tight around his cup and felt the other's eyes upon him.

"Listen, I-, don't get any weird thoughts about this. I'm only doing it for Bora," Hyungwon straightened up, eyes directly looking at Changkyun. This time it was him who looked tiny under his gaze. "She wants to meet you, but I don't know if I want her to."

"Because of what I did, I surely understand that," Changkyun nodded, lifted his cup to gulp down the burning hot beverage.

Hyungwon hated it, he hated bringing up the memories, hated seeing it all be repeated for the nth time, reminding him of all the stupid choices he made.

"I don't understand… I don't get it. Everything was going so well, you were okay with it all, you made me happy, and then…you just changed your mind…right there, right when Bora was born," Hyungwon looked down, retreating his hands from the cup to lean back against the wall. "What did I do? What did I do to make you leave me…us?"

Changkyun was silent, he observed the other before slowly opening his mouth. "You didn't do anything," he sighed, shoulders rising and falling down. "No excuse I will ever tell you will be enough, and I am aware. I was a complete jerk, I shouldn't have done it, and I regret. Ever since I realized what I had done," he trailed off, being the one to stare down at the table.

Hyungwon bit his tongue, the tears that had earlier threatened him were now back, but this time they would fall if he didn't watch his next move. This topic was had a vulnerable and weak spot in him. Just the right, or wrong, words would push the button to fuck it up.

"I panicked, I didn't know what to do, I don't have the knowledge to be a successful father," Changkyun seemed to think over his words before he spoke up, but he forgot more of his lines as he continued to stare blankly into the beverage in front of him.

"Do you think I have all the things that is ever needed to be a successful parent?" Hyungwon didn't mean to sound angry, the words spat out of him coldly before he even registered one word.

"I do, I actually do. Hyungwon I have heard a lot, ever since we first met all those years ago, till today. We lived together for months, I saw you were just as perfect there and then, as any successful parent. Even better," Changkyun's voice were calm, despite having something coldly thrown at him just seconds ago.

Hyungwon was shocked by the other's words. Lips parting as his brain was empty of words to say. No one had said that. Well yes, compliments of how strong he was had he gotten since he figured out about the pregnancy, but not like that. Not those words, and not from Changkyun.

Whatever Changkyun was able to do to him, wouldn't need much effort before it could easily leave Hyungwon amazed and slightly happy.

"I am deeply sorry, I can't stop saying it. I won't beg you to forgive me, as I know it's stupid since what I did is not tolerated in any world. I have heard a lot of threats from your friends, seen the most unfriendly side of Jooheon I've ever done," a puff sounded and fingers tapping rapidly on the cup. "Sadly, it wasn't enough to make me realize what I had done. But then there were you, crossing my mind all day, the ba- uh, Bora's cries following me. That made me realize that I really wasted the chance of a perfect family."

Shit.

Hyungwon's tongue biting didn't help anymore. Tears slid down, breathy sobs leaving his body. He trembled, body completely shut down and heavy as the words sunk in on him. Hesitant hands reached over the table, but retreated fast as Hyungwon shot up and rushed for the bathroom.

He slipped into the first open booth he saw, locked the door and sat down on the toilet seat. His legs drew up to let his arms curl around and his head rest on his knees. Tears continued to drip from his eyes and he had to gasp for air as his lungs tied together under his sobs.

Hyungwon missed Changkyun, missed having him by his side. Silently whispering he'd be okay, made sure he was healthy and happy on an hourly basis. He missed waking up with Changkyun snuggled up into his back with an arm lazily hanging over his hips.

Shit, he missed it all. Missed the stupid jokes and the English words falling out of the elder's mouth. Missed listening to the surprisingly good rapping from the bathroom. And most of all, he missed planning the family with Changkyun.

Soft knocks filled the little booth, followed by Changkyun's voice silently asking: "Won-," he stopped wondering if it was okay to still call him 'Wonnie'. "Should I call someone?"

 

Hyungwon had calmed down after a slow couple of minutes locked into the stall, was able to decline the other's offer and leave the booth to be with the other again. Changkyun had immediately cupped his cheek, other hand snarling around his waist to push him close.

Hyungwon leaned into the embrace, but held his arms hanging down.

The pink haired decided it was okay to let him meet Bora. He was nervous about bringing him home. Bora would definitely recognize the man, and he'd have a load of information to explain. And let's not forget Kihyun.

Standing on the outside of their apartment, Hyungwon asked the older to wait for him. He walked in, was greeted by Kihyun and then Bora who ran towards him and jumped into his arms.

"Honey?" Hyungwon said, nose caressing her cheek as she giggled. "Remember you wanted to meet daddy? Do you still want to?"

"Yes! He here?" she shrieked, leaning back to turn to the door.

Hyungwon could feel the burning stare Kihyun gave him, but shook it off. His daughter was the one to care for first now.

"He is," Hyungwon smiled, walked towards the door but had to let Bora go as she impatiently started to squirm.

She ran to the door, and stopped just in front of Changkyun. He sat down, smiled weakly to her.

"Hey, little girl," was lowly whispered to her, Hyungwon could clearly hear  as he stood behind his daughter.

Bora nervously nibbled on her lips, she turned to look at Hyungwon and then back to Changkyun.

"You're the meanie."

Hyungwon felt his cheeks heat up when Changkyun eyed him for a second.

"Yes," he again whispered.

Bora rushed forward to cling to Changkyun's neck, her head was nuzzled into the fabric of his coat as she hugged him. The other man hugged her back, arms wrapping around her little body to hold her as close as possible, but without hurting her.

Bora left the embrace, but dragged Changkyun with her into the apartment. The duo was in the toddler's bedroom when Hyungwon came after them. The little girl was proud as she showed her father her toys, telling him the dolls' names and the special powers they had. They ended up playing with the dolls, running around, was fairies hiding from humans(Kihyun and Hyungwon) with a mission to save the imprisoned pushies, and read books.

Kihyun had finally dragged Hyungwon away from the adorable scene. Closed the door to their bedroom after excusing themselves to the two others.

"I don't think it's a good idea to have Changkyun here," Kihyun's arms were crossed, like they always were when he talked about the other.

"I don't think it is either, but Bora wanted to meet him, and he shocked me with his words…I think it's okay to at least let them meet."

"What did he say that shocked you? That he was sorry for real?"

"Oh, Kihyun stop. It's okay. I don't trust him fully yet, and I'm not sure if I will either, but Bora…"

Kihyun nodded, he knew that even if it wasn't the best thing that could happen for Hyungwon, it would make a difference for Bora. Bora meant a lot to Hyungwon, and he swore to make everything better ever since he himself had fucked up. Kihyun knew it very well, and in the end, he supported Hyungwon's choice.

The pink haired had left their bedroom to find his daughter next. Mission accomplished when he found her behind the couch in their livingroom.

"Shh, mom go!" she said, pushed his leg to leave her alone.

"But it's bedtime for young girls and you're one of them," Hyungwon squatted down to reach between the couch and wall, but Bora was a snake and moved into a distance Hyungwon couldn't reach.

"No! No sleep, I play with daddy!" she protested and turned away from Hyungwon.

"Listen to your mom, you have to go to bed, little girls need the energy," Changkyun's voice sounded, he leaned against the other side of the couch, peaking through the little opening to look at his daughter. "Come on, I will tuck you in."

And with that Bora climbed out, not to Hyungwon, but through the little tight opening that was close to Changkyun. Into his arms and arm reached high. "Bathroom!"

Hyungwon was left staring after them. He watched as Bora brushed her teeth _alone_ , which he had never been able to get her to do. She got into her PJ dress and ran towards the bedroom, making sure Changkyun followed. She jumped up into her bed, laying ready to let Changkyun tuck the duvet over her. She laughed, said goodnight and hugged him. She didn't even ask for a hug from Hyungwon, who still watched in shock.

Changkyun left the room quietly, walked up to Hyungwon, weak smile in painted on his lips.

"Are you okay?" he whispered, not that Bora would be able to hear, but he knew Kihyun was somewhere, maybe even listening to them.

"She has never taken the initiative to get dressed, nor brush her teeth herself…she didn't even ask for a hug…" the last came out barely as a whisper, making it hard for Changkyun to hear.

"It's nothing, that's nothing to worry about. It's only exciting with new things," Changkyun's hand moved, but again it was hesitant and retreated to lay diagonally over his stomach. "I should leave now. It was nice to see you, both of you, again."  
Hyungwon nodded, joined him to the door and took a final look over the apartment to make sure he didn't forget anything.

"By the way, you really suit pink," the older smiled, short nod and eyed his hair.

"Thanks, and you…gave up grey?" his strands were back to black, but the tips still wore slight hints of grey.

"All the bleaching just ended up damaging my hair too much," he explained and buttoned his jacket.

Hyungwon nodded, "Goodbye," he mumbled, watched Changkyun disappear into the stairway before closing the door. His head fell to rest against the door, hand against it while his fingers scratched the wood. A weak smile spread over his lips.

No guarantees.

No promises about the good sides.

But he still felt the happiness slide back into his heart.  



	18. Thursday Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry this chapter is late, my school days are long, which means I am tired as shit when I get home and won't function to anything else than watching YouTube and eat sweets.

 

Light sounds of feet, running and padding through the apartment, the racing breath sometimes audible of the marathon runner in the room. Weak giggles here and there. A door opened, feet marking the trail of invisible footprints. The door never shut, but no one needed to be smart to know that the person didn't close the door behind themselves.

Hyungwon turned, he saw Kihyun still sleeping next to him. Then he could scratch the idea of Kihyun and Bora playing. She was most likely playing with her toys again.

He shut his eyes, leaning into his pillow to fall asleep again. But the door to their bedroom shot open and the giggles and laughter was louder this time.

"Daddy! Let's play!" she shrieked, jumped up onto the bed and crawled over Hyungwon. The action startled Kihyun out of his sleep, jolting up, completely awake as he searched for the source with wide eyes. Hyungwon groaned as the girl climbed and accidentally stepped on his side.

Her eyes landed on Kihyun, "oh," she whispered and slowly moved to the bed's edge.

"Sweetie, what is happening?" Hyungwon spoke up, moving out of the maze of a blanket he had trapped his legs into to reach out to his daughter.

"I wanted to play," a disappointed tone lingered in her voice. Bora slid down, still facing the males, since it was the less scary way of getting off the bed.

"Give me a few minutes and I'll come play with you," Kihyun said and moved to get out himself.

"No!"

Both Hyungwon and Kihyun's eyes widened as they looked at Bora.

"We do not yell to Kihyunnie like that," Hyungwon strictly said. "He is only being nice to you."

"I don't wanna play with Kihyunnie, I wanna play with dada," her arms crossed and marched out of the bedroom.

The pink haired turned to Kihyun to see his burning stare after the child. But it was not meant for her, and he knew too well who it was to.

"See? This whole Changkyun meeting Bora wasn't a good idea at all. He's changing her attitude!" hissing, Kihyun was on his way out of bed.

Hyungwon decided to not say anything, just got out of bed to walk after the toddler. He found her in her bedroom. Dolls all over her bed as she played with them. The moment Hyungwon set his foot inside the room, she glared at him. Bora told him to leave, threatened with throwing her dolls at him. He tried his best to stay calm, approach her slowly while talking to her, even when one of the shoes the doll previously wore were thrown at him.

Kihyun was next to him, eyeing them both as he also tried to think of what to say. He again suggested that the two of them could play together, or ask the woman across the hall if they could take her dog for a walk. Bora turned down the offers and continued to play instead. He asked her what she wanted to do, and when she once again replied that she wanted to be with Changkyun, he gave a glare to Hyungwon.

Of course, he didn't do it to be mean to Hyungwon, but he wanted him to be careful with the meanie, to use a nicer word.

"I am sure we can have as much fun as if you were with your dad!" Kihyun said, smiling to maybe get her in a better mood. Kihyun's smile was magic, always jumped over to Bora and she couldn't resist the smile.

But not this time, she stuck out her tongue to Kihyun while mumbling a mean word. Hyungwon didn't quite hear it, but didn't need to hear either. He snapped, voice roared through the whole floor, making Bora jump and stare at him like he did a horrible crime in front of her. Hyungwon didn't know what to say after that, nor do. Kihyun's eyes were glued to him as the younger could feel the anger slowly fade away of the sight of his daughter. He had never needed to use such a voice at her, only a serious tone now and then.

Maybe Kihyun was right, letting her spend so much time with Changkyun was a bad idea. They shouldn't have been alone. Look what his daughter ended up being because they met.

"Bora! I will not tolerate such behavior!"

Seeing how she slightly teared up, eyes reddening and tears falling down, broke Hyungwon's heart. He felt like he failed, he had promised to give her happiness, but now he made her sad.

The problem when Bora cries, ever since she was born, is that she has lungs of steel. The air she sucks in is yelled out so loudly, a peeping sound is heard deep into someone's ear and their head will ache. It doesn't stop after one yell. The whole building could be shaking as if it was an earthquake.

It continues, continues and continues. Hyungwon hasn’t cracked the code of how to make her stop yet, so far he'd wait until she stopped, or find her teddy.

But the teddy was right next to her, and only helped when she really needed it. Now that she cried because of him, wouldn't it work as well as other occasions. Hyungwon walked in to sit on her bed, hand resting on her arm.

"Hey, I didn't mean to shout at you, I'm sorry," when she didn't pull away, he scooped her into his arms to embrace her. "We just want you to be happy."

Bora did calm a little, but her sobs were stealing her breath and she gasped for air between hiccups. Hyungwon nuzzled their noses together to show he was really sorry. Her hands gabbed towards him, fisting into the fabric of his Pjs.

Hyungwon looked over to the door, Kihyun wasn't there anymore, but he could hear the familiar sounds from the kitchen. The brunet's low humming while he searched through cabinets and drawers to make breakfast. It's so nice to have someone to do it for them, especially since Hyungwon always ended up buying microwave food and order pizza or something from restaurants close by.

The both of them fell in love with Kihyun's food, indeed better than whatever laid in plastic or paper wrapping, tasting exactly like the wrapping or water. Kihyun's food was so delicious that Hyungwon asked for an extra meal now and then.

Turning his attention back to Bora, he realized she looked at him. Eyes still swollen and red.

"I'm sorry," she whispered and dug her face into the crook of Hyungwon's neck.

"It's okay, darling. Now, we should get dressed and eat. Then we can go out and we could go to the mall before kindergarten, would you like that?"

Hyungwon had requested the kindergarten to let Bora start later long before she first stepped into the kindergarten-life. It was mostly because of his own issues with taking care of her alone. But also because Bora and him needed to spend time together. It was needed more before, when Hyungwon would be trapped with his studies for the rest of the day, but it became a tradition and felt empty when they didn't do it.

Bora's face lit up, smile so wide her tiny dimples showed. "Can we?"

Hyungwon nodded, kissed her cheek and let her down to find clothes.

After they got dressed, they ate, then packed a few things they would need before wrapping themselves into warm clothes suitable for the outside's ice age. They said their goodbyes to Kihyun, who was left in the apartment to clean on his day off.

Or, that's what the two of them thought.

As soon as Kihyun saw the two frames disappear behind another block from one of their apartment windows, he ran out into the living room. He did in fact clean, but only tidying to make it bearable for him to let guests visit.

He placed three mugs on the table, messily around but neatly enough to understand where he wanted the owner of the mugs to sit. Kihyun then headed into the kitchen again, filled a pot with water and placed it on the stove to boil.

It knocked on the door just when he pressed the touchpad. He got the heat up to full and wiped his hands on his pants, walking over to the door. Knowing who was on the outside, Kihyun went straight to open it and letting the two on the other side slide in.

"You shooed Hyungwon and Bora out just so we could visit?" Jooheon smirked, just to annoy the older, but a little sad that his favorite niece (who technically wasn't his niece) was outside.

"No," Kihyun said closing the door behind them. "Bora's behavior changed this morning, he got so mad that she ended up crying. He wanted to make it better with taking her out before kindergarten," he finished and the three males walked into the living room.

"Her behavior changed?" Hyunwoo asked, falling down onto a seat in one of the chairs.

"Hyungwon is allowed to be strict with her, she will learn of that as well. He can't play soft mommy all the time," Jooheon pointed out, sighing as the memories of his oldest son flew around in his head. He was one hell of a child to rise.

"Yes, I think it's because of Changkyun. No, I know. Because she asked after him and when she realized he wasn't here, she got angry and a little aggressive," Kihyun walked into the kitchen to take the pot off the stove. The water still bubbled as he walked back into the living room, pouring it into the three cups. "Hyungwon is aware that he should be strict, but he has never needed to use the voice he used earlier. I saw him panic just the slightest when she teared up."

"Hyungwon said he never wanted her to feel pain, he wanted her to have the most wonderful life she could ever have, and he'd do anything for her," Hyunwoo murmured and drizzled coffee powder into his cup.

"And he still wants it like that, seeing her cry because of him, must have felt really heavy on his shoulders."

The others hummed, Kihyun walked into the kitchen to leave the pot. He sat down on the couch and dipped his teabag into the liquid.

"I hope he won't blame himself for it, I know he has a tendency to do it," Jooheon said in between sips.

"I doubt he will, she beamed up when he apologized, and she always gives Hyungwon the most loving feeling he has ever had. We don't think Bora knows it, or intends to do it maybe, that the tiny things she does means so much more for Hyungwon than anything else in this universe," Kihyun said, furrowing his brows and leaned into his seat.

Was it mean? To have their own little club to talk about Hyungwon and his health, and relationship with Bora? Jooheon, Hyunwoo and Kihyun had made a little meetup to talk about the wellbeing of the younger. They all wanted the best for him and found it easier to help him when they communicated. It was like doctors and psychologists, cooperating in between appointments.

Just when Hyunwoo opened his mouth, knocks were sounded from the door. All the of them looked over to the hall. Kihyun could only think of Hyungwon and Bora as the possible persons on the other side, but they would come in without knocking. It could be a neighbor, probably asking for the usual neighbor-can-help-with-that solution.

Kihyun rose up, padding over. Swinging the door slightly open, he was shocked to meet the familiar eyes of the well-known Im Changkyun.

"Bora is out with Hyungwon," Kihyun defied whatever his bitterness wanted to say. Telling him to fuck off would satisfy the bitterness, but it wasn't what Hyungwon was doing lately. He didn't want to ruin anything for Hyungwon, nor their precious Bora.

"Jooheon invited me, if it isn't the right time I could…leave again," Changkyun seemed more than happy to walk away, taking a little step back from the door.

"There you are," Jooheon sounded behind Kihyun.

Kihyun turned to look at the younger, letting the meanie enter his apartment. Jooheon mouthed sorry, but Kihyun knew he wasn't. There was a reason why Changkyun was there, there was a reason for Jooheon to invite him despite the hate Kihyun had burning inside for the male.

Hyunwoo seemed shocked as well, hand clutching tighter around his cup as he eyed the younger. Jooheon must be the only one not giving him a cold stare of the three older males. Just when Changkyun sat down, Kihyun excused himself and dragged the taller into the kitchen with him, Hyunwoo following right after.

He made sure the door was closed behind them, looking straight at Jooheon. The ravenette had two pair of eyes glued to him, both questioning and angry.

"Why is he here?!" Kihyun whispered bitterly.

"I thought it would be okay to let him try again, Hyungwon and I already know he has changed, you need to see it too," Jooheon explained, he cringed at his own words right after it slipped past his lips.

"You could've said something. Nothing he's going to say will change my point of view" Hyunwoo hummed, crossing his arms. "He broke Hyungwon, do not forget."

"Of course, we won't forget that!" Kihyun said, voice softer this time. "And we do not, and I mean _never_ , let Hyungwon get back to those times," Kihyun's finger was pointing up, sending the warning to Jooheon as if he could do something bad.

"I don't need you to look at him as you did before, all I need is that you listen to him, that's all, nothing more."  
"You should know I only do this for Hyungwon, he keeps telling me about these words that brought him to tears, I wanna hear his wisdom," Kihyun softened only because of the thought of the younger.

"We're doing this only for Hyungwon," Hyunwoo added.

Jooheon and Hyunwoo left the kitchen first, Kihyun opened a cabinet to find a mug for Changkyun, filling it before he walked after. Leaning back into the couch, again, Kihyun was expecting one hell of a speech from the meanie.

No, he will never stop calling him that.

"So, let's hear you out, what do you want to tell us?" Kihyun's brow cocked as he crossed his legs.

Changkyun was silent, staring into his cup, shrinking into his spot on the other side of the couch. All the eyes staring at him, even if Jooheon's were softer, made him uncomfortable. Not that Kihyun cared, he deserved to feel a little uncomfortable and vulnerable, just as Hyungwon, not as worse though.

What a shame.

"I have no reason to get Hyungwon back, I have no right to beg Hyungwon to let me take care of Bora now and then. And I am very aware. I have already apologized to Hyungwon, for being the dick I was, but I it's not enough. My apologies goes straight through Hyungwon, like I'm talking to a wall, but again, I can't demand him to listen to me," he started, looking up, first at Kihyun, and then to Hyunwoo. "I feel bad for making Hyungwon fall into such deep hell."

As Changkyun stopped, silence devoured them.

Kihyun had no idea why his words hit his chest so hard, so hard that he could feel his breath lingering heavy in his lungs. He barely said something, it was unnecessary to feel that way now. It wasn't convincing, lock the words out and stop feeling this way!

"I would do anything to go back, I'd stand through the panic and help Hyungwon when he needed me the most. I cannot picture anything close to what he has experienced. A family basically abandoning him, pregnancy making his whole life unbearable. And then at the end, the one he believed could help, the one who had promised to stay by his side, did just as his family; left him alone," Changkyun could no longer look at any of them.

His body was leaning against his elbows, firmly planted on his thigs to hold his torso up. Head hanging low to stare at the floor under his feet.

Kihyun glanced over to Hyunwoo, their gaze met and he could see his emotions copied in his eyes. Hyungwon was right, Changkyun's words does shock, even if it isn't anything, it isn't what Kihyun would have hoped for. But that's not the point. He really means it, his words are his thoughts, straight from his heart as he really _did_ regret.

It was not a lie, the brunet hated the meanie for everything he'd caused. Minhyuk hated him, Hoseok hated him, Hyunwoo…well it was hard to say now. Jooheon used to hate him as well, but then he got in touch with Changkyun again. Back when they united again, it was hard for any of them to understand why, but now when the words were heard by their own ears, they could understand why.

Maybe one more chance would be okay, just to help, just to make it easier. It couldn't do more damage, not since he himself was aware of what he had done.

"I want to thank you though, for being by Hyungwon's side when I didn't. I appreciate everything you've done for him, please do never leave his side."

Maybe Kihyun's heart broke into pieces seeing Changkyun red-eyed when he looked up.  



	19. Sunday Evening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might become even slower at updating, so I'll apologize already. We're reaching the end though, so I'll do my best to not let this take too long!

Changkyun questioned everything at one moment. The people who hated him the most, forgave him. He still couldn't understand that Jooheon had done it too, and still shocked that Hyungwon let him meet Bora. Neither did he understand why Minhyuk didn't rip him apart the moment he saw him next to Hyungwon.

It was all going to be a nice dinner, so maybe he thought it would be a mood-killer if his behavior would change. He also had the motto _'it's for Hyungwon'_ which they all stood by.

Hoseok kept staring at him, whispering something to Hyunwoo he couldn't catch. Not that he wanted to eavesdrop either. Changkyun turned to play with Wooshin again. Bora and Mingyu were long gone into building a fortress in her bedroom.

Jooheon, Kihyun and Minhyuk were in the kitchen, either preparing the food or making sure they had place for them all. Hyungwon sat curled in the couch, joining in on Hyunwoo and Hoseok's conversation with a few words. Changkyun noticed he stared a lot over to Hyungwon when he also looked over to him, eyes locking and both males turning away in an instant.

Wooshin tried over and over to talk to Changkyun, but he always ended up having to repeat, making him exhale an annoyed sigh. Bora came running out into the open room, hopping onto his back to curl her arms around her father's neck.

"Dada, come play!" she cheered, "Wooshin you too! My castle needs brave knights!!"

The toddler lit up, shooting up from his place on the floor to help her drag Changkyun into her bedroom. Inside he was greeted by the so-called castle. Her duvet was held up on the middle by a chair, one end secured on the bed, other on her little desk. A dozen of pillows were scattered around on the floor, plushies sitting here and there.

Changkyun had to admit it looked cozy, he'd love to sit in there, but he was too big. If he tried, he'd end up accidentally touching the duvet and it would fall over their heads.

"Wooshin and Mingyu, you're knights, you need to protect me since I am the princess," Bora giggled, making herself at home inside her castle.

"I wanna ride a horse! A big horse! And his name is Thunder!" Mingyu cheered, picked up one of Bora's horse figures to play with it.

Wooshin stayed silent, nibbling on his fingernails. He walked over to Mingyu after staring a little, taking the tiger into his little hands.

"And then you met a dangerous tiger," he whispered, "rooaaar, and then you were scared."

"No! I am brave, and so is my horse, we are going to fight, and we will win. So the tiger died and now it's not in the game anymore," Mingyu took the tiger, made it fight with his horse before tossing it into a toybox.

Wooshin seemed sad that his brother took over, but he didn't dare to speak back and ended up staying silent again. Changkyun reached out to him, plopping down on the bed where it was space for him to sit. The toddler walked over to him and placed his little hand in his, he was lifted up to sit on his lap to at least try make him feel better.

But then Bora shouted in protest; "No! Dada is the king and I am the princess, you're the knight and not supposed to sit on his lap!"

The young girl had walked over, pulling at Wooshin's legs to get him down. Wooshin whimpered, dug his face towards Changkyun's chest as small sobs left his mouth.

"Bora, he can sit on my lap too," Changkyun said, smiling at his pouting daughter. "Even the bravest of knights are allowed to sit on someone's lap."

Bora didn't like the feeling of defeat from her father, but backed off and sat down into her castle again. The raven haired male laid his other arm around Wooshin, slightly bouncing him on his thigh. Shortly after giggles were heard and he held onto Changkyun's arm to not fall over.

Changkyun started to make horse sounds, imitating a galloping horse's hooves and neighing a little. Wooshin laughed and cheered of happiness, encouraging his 'horse' to continue and go faster. Changkyun could feel he didn't have the stamina to be a racehorse; his leg started to ache and he panted like an asthma patient with a stuffed nose.

In the corner of his eye he saw Bora light up, she shot up and ran to the door. Changkyun took the opportunity to stop, let his leg relax and breath regain in his lungs. He looked over his shoulder and he saw Hyungwon, arm reached towards Bora as he was dragged into the children room.

He kneeled in front of Bora, the little girl cupped his cheeks before running over to a pink and white dresser, opened the drawer and ran back. She whispered something, and Hyungwon laughed.

"Dada look away!"

Changkyun looked amused at her, he turned away, hearing giggles and whispers behind him. Mingyu, who had been staring at the scene for a while, dropped what he held and ran over to join the whisper-gang. Wooshin slipped off his lap as well.

Well then…

He heard one of the children run off and into the apartment, heard the joyful voice shouting for Kihyun, then mumbles as they talked. The steps came back, more giggles and then he was asked to look.

His eyes landed right on Hyungwon. His head, in between messy strands of pink hair, were a tiara. Plastic diamonds all over it, slightly glittering in the weak light of the ceiling lamp. His eyes shined the most, smile showing his teeth and his cheeks forming the softest of buns. A weak pink painted over his cheeks the longer their eyes were locked.

From his shoulders, a baby pink robe hang loose, it hid his arms, draping to cover some of his front torso to make it look like a cape, or maybe the children wanted it to be a dress.

Changkyun was dragged out as one of the twins placed a bowl on his head. It was also in plastic, probably one of the props from her dollhouse. Mingyu tugged at his leg and he slid down to the floor, kneeled before Hyungwon.

Bora then climbed up on where Changkyun previously sat. She coughed lightly, gripping a book and held it as if it was a paper with her notes for a presentation.

"Mommy is the queen, and dada king!" she said, smiling wide. "You can now kiss my mommy."

Both Hyungwon and Changkyun's breaths hitched, they knew very well what she meant, very well what she was thinking.

She acted as if it was a wedding.

"What?!" Hyungwon ripped his eyes off Changkyun, shockingly observing his daughters wicked smile. "No, no, no, that was not the deal."

Which deal?

"Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss!" Bora started, getting Wooshin and Mingyu on the train right after.

"No, we will not kiss," Hyungwon rose to his feet, he pulled the tiara off and folded the bathrobe and hanging it over his hand. "Go wash your hands, the dinner is ready."

With that Hyungwon disappeared out of the door, leaving Bora pouting. The twins ran towards the kitchen in happiness of finally feeding their hungry lunch boxes.

The bowl on Changkyun's head fell down as he moved to get closer to his daughter. Instead of saying anything he just lifted her up. Holding her close and leaned his head against hers. His hand brushed soothingly over her back.

"Don't pout like that, sweetie," Changkyun whispered to her.

She didn't answer, but her pout was switched with a little smile when Changkyun made grimaces.

They joined the rest a few minutes later, Kihyun went straight to scold Changkyun for being late. He escorted Bora to her chair next to him and Hyungwon. Changkyun ended up on one of the short sides, silently eating while listening to the other talking.

Minhyuk was bringing up memories of his and Jooheon's wedding, warning Hyungwon about how marriage really is. _He's just lazy, laying on the couch watching football and drum covers, leaving me to take care of the kids._ Jooheon didn't comment, well that was more or less what it was being with Minhyuk. You talk back, hello couch nice to meet you and sleep very well with Jooheon by your side.

Hoseok was happily talking about his studies, and since Hyunwoo didn't talk the younger was bragging about his boyfriend. The oldest had started swimming again, next to dancing and regular workout he had with Hoseok. It was bizarre how he managed to fit it all in next to work.

"What are you studying?" Changkyun heard himself ask.

Hoseok looked over, seemed a bit annoyed as he realized Changkyun was there with them. He had forgotten already. "Continuing on my music studies," he replied short, turning back to Hyungwon.

Changkyun would have loved to talk more with him, them in general, but it seemed like they all just didn't give a damn about his presence. Well except the kids and Jooheon, if he dared to say, Hyungwon as well.

He looked up and was met with an apologetic smile from Hyungwon, _sorry_ , he mouthed. The older just shrugged his shoulders and smiled weakly.

The dinner ended about an hour later. The kids were gone as soon as they all finished, but the remaining males sat there blabbering like women at each other's tea parties. Changkyun was still silent, stopping himself for each question as it was ready to leave his tongue. Won't happen, stay unanswered.

When Kihyun finally rose up and said he'd do the dishes, making half of them disappear away before they were set to do anything, Changkyun could breathe out. He waited in the kitchen though, wanting to make sure Kihyun didn't need any help. But it was to no vail, he was pushed out with the excuse that he was a guest. Instead Hyungwon was forced back in to help.

Changkyun found himself on the couch next to Jooheon, thank god that seat was empty. At least they could talk together normally.

Hoseok and Hyunwoo were the first to leave, it was getting late and he needed the sleep before the next day of school, and Hyunwoo before work. When they left, Hyungwon went into the young girl's room to make sure they would tidy up before bedtime.

"How long have Kihyun and Hyungwon been living together?"

Minhyuk seemed to think about the question deeply. He was laying across Jooheon's lap, his husband's hand threaded into his locks.

"I think…since Bora was almost a year, about three years if I've done the math right," he said, eyes falling shut.

"Yeah, he lived with us for a while, until he declared he was moving out into a stranger's apartment on the other side of town," Jooheon said, smiling as Minhyuk frowned.

"Ah, yes. That kid shouldn't have been allowed to chat with strangers like that. Scared the soul out of me."

"Hyungwon found the right person, Kihyun was able to help him a lot with Bora and his studies."  
"He studied?"

"Youp, finished high school online," Minhyuk rolled over, nuzzling into Jooheon's clothed stomach.

That poor kid was too scared to go back to regular high school?

Changkyun nodded. "How long have they dated?"

And exactly why did he ask that?

"Uhh," the frown was back on Minhyuk's face. Like he has his own calculation frown. "I can't really tell. By all I know they could have had an online relationship behind my back."

"Who?" Kihyun came out of the kitchen, also wearing a frown as his eyes scanned after Minhyuk.

"You and Hyungwon, how long have you been dating?"

As Changkyun listened, he felt empty and sad. His heart clutched, each beat hurting like needles going through the muscle. Was that maybe why he protested about the kiss earlier? Of course, didn't Changkyun expect him to kiss him, he did expect that reaction though, but it would make more sense if they were dating.

Kihyun sighed. "We're not dating. We won't either."

"Yeah, yeah, bullshit. You've said so ever since we met," Mihyuk waved with his hand and rose up, leaving to collect his children.

Changkyun felt light then, relieved that there may not be anything between Hyungwon and Kihyun. It was stupid of him for sure, but still, he wore this hope deep inside.

Minhyuk and Jooheon left with their two ducklings following behind. Kihyun had slipped into the bathroom to get ready for the night himself. Changkyun was getting ready to leave, about to open the door when a whisper reached his ears.

Hyungwon had changed into his pjs, consisting of a big t-shirt and briefs underneath, arms crossed to hide himself. He walked up to the door, but leaving enough space between them.

"I'm sorry about earlier," he started, weak smile on his lips. "Hoseok is not that mean, I promise."

For a second Changkyun thought he was talking about the castle event. "Don't worry about it."

Hyungwon took a step closer and opened his arms a little. The older allowed him to slip closer and embraced him in a short hug.

"Thank you for coming," Hyungwon smiled, cheeks burning, but luckily the dim light didn't reveal it. "Uhm…I…"

"What?" Changkyun couldn't hear a word of what he said, it was all mumbles.

"No, no, it's nothing. I'll catch up later, drive safe."

"Ok," he replied and moved out of the door. "I will. Sleep well."

"I will," he whispered.

With each other on their mind; he would sleep like he was laying on clouds, and he would drive like everything was made of foam and nothing would be harming.

 

 


	20. Tuesday Noon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for being late, my computer started to fuck with me, our internet went on vacation to under-repair by the mobile service shit.  
> Okay, so this is the last chapter, next one will be a short epilogue :D

Hyungwon stood in front of the bathroom mirror, looking at himself from head to toe while arguing if it was a good outfit or not. He carded his fingers though his har to fold his hair into different directions. He ended up with the regular, bangs falling into his forehead and softly fluffy on the sides.

Once again he eyed himself, was jeans good enough? The prettiest he owned to be accurate. A plain turtleneck tucked into his pants and sealed with a belt. He would need his coat as well, which would make him less casual and more _'expensive_ '.

Oh lord. It was so hard to figure out what to wear. A _friendly datie_ , really didn't show hints of any dress codes that would be helpful. He could drop the nice pants, mess up his hair by going to bed for a little while. But then he'd look uninterested. And that was the opposite of what he was.

Hyungwon knew he wouldn't offend Changkyun by what he wore, but he would be insecure himself.

The time ticked away, with a blink the doorbell rang, and he was pulled out of everything. Stumbling out, he walked fast over to the door, hands brushing over his pants to have something to be occupied with. The pink haired male stopped in front of the door, taking a deep breath before opening and giving a little smile to the other person.

Changkyun smiled back, then handed him a little bouquet of flowers. They were pink, just a shade darker from his own hair. It had a card detached to it, but there was nothing more than a nice painted front.

"You didn't have to," Hyungwon mumbled as he waddled into the apartment. "It's supposed to be a _friendly_ date."

"Dat _ie_ ," Changkyun corrected, following the younger into the apartment. "And I wanted to, so you couldn't have stopped me even if you threatened to fight me."

Hyungwon reached for a vase and filled a quarter of it with water. Peeled off the paper around the bouquet and dropped the flowers into the water. He crumbled the paper together and threw it into the trash can under the sink before turning with a frown.

"Are you sure?"

"Why wouldn't I? Even in cuddles you can't fight for the big spoon title, you keep bragging, but in the end you're the little spoon," Changkyun smiled and leaned against the doorframe.

"That!" he trailed off, biting his cheek to think. "Was because with my belly I wouldn't have been able to."

Changkyun didn't reply, continued to lean against the frame and smiling at him. Hyungwon moved to grab the braided straw basket on the table, pushing the other to the door again.

"Hey! Why the rush? We have all day," the older chuckled.

"I just want to get out of here," Hyungwon replied fast, in reality he just didn't like the fact the older got him embarrassed already.

"And into the cold? I see then."

Changkyun didn't get the chance to laugh at the younger before his arm was linked with the other's, and then dragged towards the building's exit. Down all the stairs, through the halls.

Hyungwon let go of the elder's arm when they got outside, held the basket with both hands instead.

They had planed to have the picnic in the park, on a hill that was surroned by trees, hid for others. From between the trees you could spot the slightest movement of water, it was the little pond. Usually it was life there even during the autumn, but this year it was silent. Maybe a stray cat crossing the bridge now and then.

They laid down the blanket, sat down and Hyungwon started to pull up different boxes from the basket. He placed them scattered around in front of them, looked at each and read the taped-on notes about what it was.

"Hm…so that's rice, vegetables, uhm…" he fumbled in the basket again and pulled up a red box, "this is pork."

Changkyun seemed shocked as he continued to pull out box after box.

"You should have told Kihyun we won't need this much. Did he think there would be more than us?"

"No, he know it's only us. He just loves cooking," he smiled, opened one box that immediately let out damp.

"Was he the one who had rice in _one_ box too?" Changkyun didn't complain, just that Kihyun seemed like he would give the both of them separate boxes of food.

"No that was me, sorry would you have preferred to have one for yourself?" Hyungwon looked up, eyeing him and the box before smiling apologetically.

Changkyun's eyebrows flew up, "you think I have a problem sharing rice with you?"

Hyungwon just smiled, handed the older a pair of chopsticks and they began to eat. First it was complete silence, both enjoying the tasty food they repeatedly stuffed into their mouths.

Then they started chatting slightly, asking for this and telling the other to taste that. They felt full to the brim when they had emptied the last box. They cleaned up, not wanting the possible passersby to think weirdly about them.

Hyungwon was the first to lay down, eyes closed and a little smile on his lips. Changkyun joined him, laid back and placed his hand over the one Hyungwon had resting on his stomach.

Again it was silent, both listening to the other's breath. Hyungwon was right at the door of dozing off when the older rose up. He looked at him in wonder of what he was going to do. He reached over to the little backpack he brought, opened it and pulled something out. Hyungwon sat up, peaking over to the other to see what it was. But Changkyun hid it too well for him to catch a glimpse of it.

"Wonnie?" it felt correct to say it this time, instead of having to question whether it was okay or not, he let it slip past his lips like it was normal.

"Hm?" Hyungwon smiled, let the other cup his cheek as he moved closer.

"Do you remember that day, when we were kids, and you were at my parents' barbeque?"

Hyungwon had to think pretty hard about that. He didn't remember that, maybe a little flash somewhere in his memories, but not much. But he did remember it slightly, and nodded.

Changkyun pulled out the thing he held behind his back, gave it to Hyungwon and observed his face. Hyungwon looked at it, hesitated a little before taking it into his hands. It was a stuffed animal, a fluffy little dog with a collar. Messily, and a bit smudged, the collar had _Hyungwon_ written with a black marker, right next to a little heart.

"You had this one with you, I remember you were attached to it. I meant to give it back, but I guess I never dared, and in the end I forgot," Changkyun said lowly, looking at the other as he turned the plushie around in his hands, stroking over the fake fur. "I recently remembered, I tried to find it, but it was gone in my stuff."

"But you found it," Hyungwon said, he shuffled closer and leaned against his side.

Hyungwon could remember the plushie. It was his best friend as a child. His grandma gave it to him as a birthday gift, and it meant a lot to him. Especially since she passed away a year later and she had told him when he visited; " _take care of the little dog for me_."

He brought it with him wherever he went. And Changkyun's parents' neighbor party was one of them. His own parents left him to play with the other children, joining the other adults to chat. But Hyungwon just stood there, hugging the plushie and watching the children and the group of adults.

Changkyun had approached him after a while, asked him if he was okay and if he wanted something to drink. Hyungwon had shook his head and walked away to sit on the other side of the house. But the older didn’t leave him alone. In the end Changkyun managed to get him up, into the house and to his bedroom.

They had played with his toys, Changkyun showed him his doodles. A spaceship, an explosion, a tornado and a star. He had said he had more, but he'd wait to show Hyungwon.

_"Just wait until I'm big! I'll draw the most beautiful drawing to you!"_

Later that evening, Hyungwon's mom had called out for him, told him they had to leave and Hyungwon was disappointed. He had had so much fun and didn't want to leave just yet. But in the end he followed his mother, Changkyun behind to wave goodbye at the door.

He must have forgotten to grab his plushie when the tidal wave of emotions hit him. Hyungwon could perfectly remember that was the day he fell in love with Changkyun. First he thought it was just because he was so friendly, but when he grew up and kept seeing the smiles that made his heart flutter, he realized he was in love.

The poor stuffed dog was forgotten behind all this love blinded him.

"I can't believe I had forgotten about that," Hyungwon mumbled, held the dog close to him and leaned closer, even if it wasn't possible, to Changkyun.

Hyungwon's cheeks darkened as he felt a kiss being placed on the top of his head. A smile spread tucked at the corner of his lips as he remembered the day, thoughts of how everything started that day, to the day he first laid in Changkyun's arms. Was it back to how it was before?

 

The two boys sat snuggled in togethers arms for a while, almost an hour. They were ripped apart when Hyungwon's phone rang, Kihyun requested him back home. They cleaned up, stuffed everything back into the basket and walked towards Hyungwon's apartment.

Their fingers were intertwined, arms bumping into each other as they walked close. The door was open when they got there, Kihyun smiling at them and taking the basket. Hyungwon embraced the other, and Changkyun let his arms slide around his waist, holding him tight.

"Thank you for today," Hyungwon moved to walk inside, took off his shoes and peaked up.

"Hyungwon? Do you think…do you think we could start over?"

Hyungwon stopped, looked down at his fiddling hands before slightly shaking his head.

"No, no I don't want to," he whispered, he walked over to the door, looking back as if someone would sneak up on him. "If we start over it would mean we forget, we won't have it in our memory that… _it_ happened. I don't want to forget it, even if it hurts. It is still more good things, than bad things. I got Bora, with you, and she is everything to me. Starting over would mean forgetting how she came into my life."

First Changkyun was scared, that he said no so clearly. But hearing his reason why, it was heartwarming.

"What if we continue?"

Hyungwon padded over the remaining distance between them, circling his arms around the elder's neck to hide his growing smile into his chest.

"Yes," he mumbled, "I'd like that."


	21. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a bit sad I'll end this, at the same time I'm happy it reached this far. I've had so much fun through this story, and I've recieved so much love!! Thank you so much to all of you! You have helped me feel more confident in my work!♡  
> This is just a short epilogue to end it all, mostly with the remaining ideas that I had but never added into the story.  
> Enjoy!

 

Hyungwon and Changkyun found back together. Their relationship continued from where they had left it, well sort of. They became a little family together with Bora, the type of family Hyungwon had pictured them to be, but somewhere deep down Hyungwon could feel his fear of loosing him once again. Or even Bora for that matter.

But instead of paying attention to the fear, instead of feeding it his time, he ignored it. He looked right through it. Each time it poked his shoulder, knocked on the door or gave him random pictures, he ignored it. He has them now, they're there with him, and he's not going to waste any memories by thinking of what could possibly happen.

A possibility isn't a written destiny.

Instead, what had happened, became their source of strength. Hyungwon went through a hard time, but only to become independent and stronger than he was. Changkyun felt panic that later left him experienced and able to control and know himself better.

See? Such tiny positive things, that's what matter's to Hyungwon now, not the sound of Changkyun's voice back then, saying….you know what? It doesn't matter. Don't waste time on it.

Hyungwon and Bora moved in with Changkyun, to his house where he had lived for years, but Kihyun came over frequently to babysit Bora, or make food and clean up their mess. He had warned Changkyun about never letting Hyungwon ever touch a damn tool, " _And for God's sake, do not let him make anything"_.

Bora got a little room Changkyun previously had stuffed to the ceiling with stuff. He claimed it was science stuff, and books from school. But Hyungwon could see the superhero collection through the holes in the cardboard as the other carried them to a new hiding spot.

Together they painted the walls in the room, a pretty pink that Bora had pointed out in the store. Bora had decided how the furniture would be set up, Hyungwon had made a chart over her room and cut out the pieces that was supposed to be the furniture. After billions of options she ended up with her bed in a corner close to the door, desk under the window, toy boxes along the wall that was empty, and a picture of them on her nightstand.

Hyungwon and Changkyun high fived when the room was done, and collapsed on the couch as soon as they were allowed to. Hyungwon fell asleep on Changkyun's chest, completely worn out by the whole moving furniture part.

Bora was in her room for a while, before running out to her parents. Changkyun was startled out of his sleep as the child appeared in front of the couch. Her lips formed a little _o_ as she watched them.

"Mommy tired," she whispered, caressed Hyungwon's cheek and have her father a kiss on his forehead. Then she ran off and into her room again.

 

Speaking of parents, Hyungwon didn't hear anything from his parents. Not that he cared. It was already years since he last saw them. Maybe once or twice when they were outside, they'd see them. Last time, it was when they were in the city to buy curtains for Bora. Hyungwon had seen a glimpse of a woman who looked like his mother, he didn't want to stare after her as it was rude. But later when he had turned around, he saw it _was_ in fact his mother, and father, sitting at a table in the café just over the open hall from where they stood.

First, his mother seemed quite shocked, she had whispered to her husband and he looked over to Hyungwon as well. He couldn't read their faces; it was too far away to see any details that could show any emotions.

Changkyun spotted them as well, his hand reached out for Hyungwon's and their fingers were intertwined immediately. He was pulled close to Changkyun, head resting on his shoulder, still facing his parents.

Hyungwon's whole body tensed, his heart jumped up to his throat where its pace sped up and hammered like crazy, his father stood up, so fast that the chair he sat on was shot backwards and down to the floor. He could only picture the scenes with his imagination and experience from when his father hit him.

But he didn't move, his eyes were staring coldly above Hyungwon, teeth gritting together as a dog getting ready for fight. His mother's hand flew up to grip his arm, mouth moving as she talked to her husband. He sat down, still stared above his son.

Hyungwon leaned back, only enough to see where his father stared, it was to Changkyun. The older stared back, colder eyes than he had experienced himself. His stare made a sudden shiver run down the pink haired male's spine, the hand intertwined with his clenched around his reassuringly.

The elder's brows were pulled tight, lips pulled into a stern line. Hyungwon saw his father in the corner of his eye, they were leaving the café, and he was already making his way over to them.

Changkyun crooked his brow, his stare got even more angry, tipped over the level of scary, as he challenged the other to take a step closer. Which the man didn't, he turned and disappeared into the crowd with his mother.

Changkyun turned to him, his other arm letting go of the bags it was occupied with to hold around his waist. He kissed Hyungwon's cheek and soothingly caressed his back. That's when he realized he was shaking, he had been too caught up in what had happened to realize he was about to have his soul leave his body of fear.

Hyungwon didn't give a damn about his parents anyway, if you look away from anything that his father could do to hurt him, he had someone else. Changkyun's parents were happier about having Hyungwon there. They day he was introduced to them, they beamed of joy. They remembered him from when he was younger, constantly complimenting and commenting on how he had grown.

Their arms were open for him, and Bora, whom they demanded to take care of a weekend or two during a month. They were such a nice pair, Changkyun's mother always called Hyungwon to ask when they were visiting next time. Whenever Hyungwon was sick she'd call and ask if he was okay, come over with soup or hot beverage and make sure he was recovering with the speed of light. She could even have hour long conversations with him about how to make a proper meal to surprise Changkyun with when he got home from work.

Changkyun's dad was more silent, but whenever they visited he'd tell stories from when Changkyun was a kid. It sometimes drove the latter insane and flustered, blushing like a tomato and whining to make his father stop.

 

 

Hyungwon's plushie, the dog his grandma gave him, had a spot next to him in bed. Either snuggled up in his arms, or on his pillow as his arms were occupied with holding Changkyun. He grew back to the habit of not being able to sleep without it, whenever it fell out of bed he woke up.

Changkyun commented that, said it was cute and adorable how he jolted up and dived after the dog. Then he curled back together against Changkyun and fell asleep as if nothing happened.

Each Friday morning, when Changkyun didn't need to be at work before 10AM(and Bora was at her grandparents'), they'd lay lazy in bed. Changkyun nuzzled the younger's neck with his nose. Brushing the little baby strands of hair around and tickled the younger. His breath ghosted over his skin, warm spots that were cooled down by the morning air in the room. Hyungwon giggled, hand drawing patterns against the other's knuckles that were closed securely over his stomach. Their bodies were pressed close, and even if Hyungwon squirmed like a fish caught in hands, he couldn't slip out.

Instead he had to live with being tickled, not only by his own hair, but also the short and stiff stubbles that covered the other's chin and cheeks. Changkyun left soft, small kisses on his neck.

"I love you," he whispered.

 

 

One day a month, usually Saturdays, but sometimes it had to be Sundays, Changkyun and Hyungwon met up with the others. They had their little boys-night, where they stayed was different from time to time. Sometimes at Jooheon and Minhyuk's house, Hyunwoo and Hoseok's apartment, Kihyun's apartment or Changkyun and Hyungwon's house.

It was Jooheon and Minhyuk's turn this time. They were all stuffed together in their living room, Hyungwon laying against Changkyun's chest as he sat on his lap in one of the chairs. It was a boardgame in front of them, but it was forgotten long ago as the first winner was announced, which was Kihyun.

They talked about other things instead, Minhyuk gossiped about his co-workers, earning sighs and annoyed looks from his husband. Hoseok was suspiciously silent, only listened and sometimes came with short comments.

Hyungwon was fast to catch that, he knew his best friend well enough to know he'd be anything but silent with a few comments. He chose not to say anything, it is okay to be quiet, even if this person rarely shuts up if they're allowed to talk.

But his question of why he was so silent was answered nearing the end of the evening. They were now flocked in the hallway, leaning against walls as they knew they'd stand there and continue chatting, it was already later than they expected.

Hyungwon didn't miss all the looks Hoseok and Hyunwoo exchanged, the way they whispered discreetly, it didn’t go by Hyungwon's radar.

Hoseok cleaned his throat, earning attention even if it was just a regular cough. He smiled, and opened his mouth; "I have an announcement," he started, taking his sweet time to look at them all. It felt like the time was about to stop as nothing happened. He looked at each and every pair of eyes in the room multiple times. "I'm pregnant," he finally said, wide smile and leaned into Hyunwoo's arms.

Hyungwon's eyes went big. Minhyuk shrieked, and somewhere he heard a sigh. Kihyun cheered for a child more to babysit and play with. Jooheon sarcastically cheered for another child, Changkyun joked they could start an army of all their children.

They all congratulated and hugged the pair, and wished them luck.

Hyungwon had to bite his tongue not to scream out _"twinsies!"_ , something he and Hoseok had used since they were kids to announce they had something in common. He decided he should save it to another occasion, maybe Changkyun should be the first he tell this to as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmmmm so if anyone would like... my twitter is writingbeans if anyone would like to idk...keep in touch?? Talk? My dms are open that's for sure!♡♡  
> Aaaaaand I do have a new idea that is going to be in the making soon, keep an eye out ;)  
> Until next time, my sweeties!💕


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